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Dreams => Dream Interpretation => Topic started by: Omega on May 27, 2019, 10:09:25 AM

Title: Bossy woman and crystals
Post by: Omega on May 27, 2019, 10:09:25 AM
The previous night I dreamt a woman died and left me loads of crystals from her crystal shop.  Initially I thought only other people were being given crystals, and I felt lonely and embarrassed, but then my turn came and I got more than everyone put together.  I was given a tray full of crystals of all sizes and colours and worth alot. I then put on a sort of ceremonial necklace I was given, this went around my head and down to my feet with crystals through  it. But I hung it back up, thinking I could never wear it anywhere.

Last night I am walking as part of a small group, we're in lowland and desert hills  in Egypt. A bossy woman, a man probably her husband, a young boy and me. Now we are crossing a hill with rich red soil. I ask the name of it. The woman gives it a name that doesn't belong to it. She names everything after herself and her husband. The whole landscape it seems she does the same. I trail behind as I keep finding large crystals lying on the ground. Quartz, rose quartz, citrine, a pale blue crystal. I pick some up,  but there are too many to carry. I observe the bright sunlight shining through and I'm just thrilled by their beauty.

Now we have arrived at a beach by the sea. Right next to the sea are five or six really large rectangular Egyptian tombs covered in brightly painted figures. We walk behind them. I feel the energy as dark and dense, not good. The sun disappears, its cold. I say I'm going round to the seafront leaving the group, it feels better there, energy is higher, sun is back. Then I look back and I see them opening one of the tombs. I decide to move away quickly. They seem like idiots and probably don't know what they are unleashing. I'm not sure if they are tourists or Egyptians themselves.
But the woman is arrogant anyway. If I was to describe the woman's energy I'd say merciless and competitive.

Now I'm on a small English type community hall stage, not far away. The little boy is there. He's bright red from embarrassment possibly to do with being on a stage/performance. I comfort him and I'm kind. I go out another exit, not planning to return to that group.
Title: Re: Bossy woman and crystals
Post by: Tony Crisp on May 27, 2019, 12:05:22 PM
Omega – Firstly your start you dream by confusion about the difference between your life in your body and your dream life. It was because you felt; “But I hung – the ceremonial necklace - back up, thinking I could never wear it anywhere.” So you were still thinking it would look odd if you wore it during life in the body. But your dream life is totally different.

Here is an example from a young and intelligent woman, Barbara: “I did things that I knew my father would be interested in because I observed that he had a very strong filter: things he wasn’t interested in (e.g. art and music) he completely ignored and didn’t try to be interested in. Therefore I felt that if I didn’t do things that fell into his areas of interest I would not get his attention or interest.”

So Barbara is saying that her father is not only the prisoner of his beliefs, but also is enormously restricted by his inability to meet his emotions. Later in our communications, Barbara described the traps she herself is caught in and beginning to find freedom from.

“Most of my demons reside in my head; i.e. I invent the possibility of rejection and abandonment and respond to my own imagination by trying to avoid it happening. The old reflex is to attempt to do what will please those I care for to stop them, my father, abandoning me. The other complicating element has been the strategy of cutting off feeling to cope with an emotionally painful situation that I feel powerless to get out of, because that would displease the people who love me and that would mean they might reject/abandon me.”

So Omega you are restricting your inner life, shown as your dream, by the restrictions you place around your outer life in the body. Another factor in this imprisonment is that many of us believe there is no difference between our body and who we are. If we look awful then it means we are an awful or unattractive person. Along with that it is almost impossible for most of us to gain any distance between what we feel and who we believe we are. We feel a failure – we are a failure. We feel inferior – we are inferior. Others of us have been told things as a child – you idiot, can’t you get anything right; you – Never amount to anything, etc. That stuff sticks, and if we believe it we are trapped by it and live it. It all becomes a habit. If we are to find our way out of its clutches we need a new habit, a new way of dealing with it.

In fact our body, its situation and looks and how we react to it does not really say who we are – to realise this, view this video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNZVV4Ciccg   

I spent time on that theme because it is a huge prison door that can be opened.

The rest of the dream goes on to rub your nose in the fact that you have enormous inner resources and value
 that you still do not claim. But the bossy woman is a trait you must be aware of. It sounds as if it may have been an influence from your mother, so use https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/self-observation/ to help meet it and change any influence it has in you. Opening those tombs may be you have got near to opening and realising the great influence the ‘woman’ had on you. Maybe even read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions-you-asked/#StuckIn

Title: Re: Bossy woman and crystals
Post by: Omega on March 22, 2020, 10:43:06 AM
Hi Tony,
Thank you for this reply. I hope you are well.
After a few years of incessant nightmares, they finally subsided, so I was able to just focus on physical health for a while. What a relief.  I'm returning to this post and reading the links again. As my dreamwork and your feedback here has been so helpful, I'm going to share a little of my healing arc.

Very true about the mother energy.  I was never able to address this, because in the early days of trying to find healing, any time I even mentioned her or anything to do with my past with a healer, I was told to 'stop being stuck in the past'  or ' to let the past go' this was nearly always said with a shaming inflection. It was also said, not after me going on for ages about my past, no I would be cut of at the mere mention of these areas. So I was as prevented from even looking at that energy dynamic and therefore could not increase my awareness around it.

  I will say, there are a lot of, people who I now understand are narcissistic, working as new age practitioners. Therapists too, it makes sense, why would any profession be immune.. There is way too much emphasis on 'not being a victim' - what is the resistance there? It's like these people have a major block, to even allowing the fact that victimisation occurs, to even let that enter the conversation.  In fact I've since realised that that's exactly how narcissists control, by invalidation.

 Some people have been severely victimised, if that isn't validated and explored, that person is being sentenced to never healing. The 3/4/5 year old self must be heard. Once that happens, sure it's ok then to take responsibility for your life. But it's not just, and not effective, to deny the child self, compassion, understanding and expression, when in many cases they have experienced nothing less than torture. That's disempowering.  In retrospect, it makes sense that I gravitated towards a stream of narcisstic healers, yoga teachers and therapists. That's the terrible catch 22 of the early stages of healing.

There are of course some people who get stuck in being a victim, as a way of avoiding the work needed to heal, I don't believe that's a significant issue and easily dealt with as a natural step on the healing journey. There are many more, who have who never really been a victim at all or victimised in any significant way, yet they play that card. The difference between the two, should be fairly clear to a healing professional.

 I wasted years of my life trying 'not to be a victim' and it just added another layer, to all the other layers of denial. Fortunately I was lucky enough to be able to find my way through all the confusion and find healing. You can only move beyond your story, when you are conscious of what your story has been. That's what I believe now anyway. As I was invalidated by most healers I went to, my dream life became more and more intense and spoke the truth to me once I had the strength to hear it.

With  that important work done, and a major step in healing my shattered self complete, I am now free to explore empowerment..So I tried this exercise: 'So to break a habit we need to practice entering a dream in imagination. Here is something to do that can help you to learn. To understand what is being explained, one must sit without distraction and with closed eyes and imaginatively enter into driving a car...'

It was so interesting to see how the body reacted and heart raced, and that was with minimal effort into the visualisation. I had no problem making the car fly, which is good. I'd love to explore this method more, with all areas  of fear in my life. Especially fear of people and the public.

I did do a lot of 'being the thing' when working on my dreams, it helped a lot. I'm interested now in applying the method to the 'things' in my (waking dream) life. Let's see!

Thank you Tony for all your great work
Title: Re: Bossy woman and crystals
Post by: Tony Crisp on April 01, 2020, 10:27:11 AM
Omega - Thanks for such a clear assesment of therapists. I have had problems with them for ages.

I have written about aspects of this in The Therapist Practitioner Client Dilemma - https://dreamhawk.com/health-and-healing/the-therapist-practitioner-client-dilemma/

Of course some practitioners have gone the whole distance as Jung did and from them I have tried to stand upon their shoulders. But no matter what their background you must not be taken in. While teaching a group of people in Greece the Peer method of understanding ones dreams, a method that does not require anyone to have any psychological understanding, a woman at the end came to me. She said. "I am a Jungian psychotherapist and I am fed up with my colleagues tearing me and my dreams apart. So I am returning to London and am going to use this method of the Peer Dream Group." See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/peer-dream-work/

Title: Re: Bossy woman and crystals
Post by: Omega on April 08, 2020, 10:55:39 PM

That is such an important piece of writing!!
I wish this was disseminated widely.

It's exactly the issue and also a good solution..articulation of an important conversation, that almost never takes place.

I am lucky in that I was always too poor, and had to work with minimal help because I could rarely afford it, when I had it, I spent it on healing. But were I well off, I would have wasted a great deal more money. I would feel very angry right now if as well as wasting my time, I'd also lost a lot of money. Still ones last pennies, are important pennies.

I read a lot about cult dynamics in recent years, I would say all the practitioners and organisations I sought help from in the early years, displayed strong cult-like traits and attitudes. The vulnerable are dependent on meeting healers with integrity, but by nature of being vulnerable, the opposite often happens, unfortunately. 

That's why dreamwork is the great escape from abuse and a vital safe arena for healing.