On updating the book and site....I hope you are able to take some rest and relaxation for yourself!

Christine

Tony,

If you get this message in time please do not go to pick it up.  There must have been some mistake or screw up by the Postal Service...as I paid about $18.00 to ship it on this end...and I double checked the postage online as well.

If you have picked it up already I will surely reimburse you.

I apologize for the two inconveniences this has caused you...three if you count it being late.

Christine

Thank you Tony...that was very helpful.

If you are not too busy...did you get the package yet?  The US Postal service tracking system online says it was mailed from here on the 21st of March, but there are no notes for activity after that date.  I was told 6 - 10 days and if it has not arrived yet I can call the local post office and see if they can track it down.  Thank you again.

I am walking towards people standing in an outdoor bazaar.  They are wearing elaborate colorful bejeweled clothing with headdresses and big skirts with bloomers underneath.  Clothing that looks like it is for a ritual.  India came to mind in my dream.  I walk toward them I notice that I am small...tiny almost and I end up under one of the skirts.

Next I see two (women maybe?) greyish bodies lying on the ground next to each other.  They are holding hands, a right hand holding the left of the other.  The hands are white and are encrusted with coral and sparkling gold between the thumb and forefinger.

Next I see a woman standing facing to the right.  Her body is healthy...her breasts firm and perky.

In an earlier dream the same night I saw the image of a yellow square with cut fringe on two opposite sides.  I was thinking it was either fabric or a slice of cheese.  Thinking cheese....I was thinking about how for much of my life I felt or let others make me feel secondary or insignificant...especially men...and because I am female.  I also felt insignificant to my mother as a child.

[box cutters.]

The shield of safety pins may have actaully been box cutters.

[pewter]

I am a passenger in a car driven by a woman who looks like me with grey hair.  She says to me...you are with Jim now (the man I am dating is James)...don't you think Janice (the wife of Jim a friend I have) would be mad.

She says to me "use the three horses."

Each huge horse...they dwarf the people caring for them...and a "giant" riding each of them is being dressed one by one.

Each rider and horse is being dressed under a royal blue quilted blanket...or in private.  The people have to stand on the horse's back to reach the blanket over the head of the horse.  That is how big the horses are.

There is a rider sitting erect on each horse but not moving as the horse is being dressed.

The first rider and horse are being dressed in what looks like, close up, the shape of a pewter cup with beaded edging.  From far away it looks like armor.  The armor covers the giant and the shoulders/chest of the horse.  But the armor for both rider and horse stops at the knees of the giant, presumably so the horse can feel the riders direction.

The second horse...the rider is being dressed in a shield of safety pins which are all pinned together.

The third horse the rider is dressed in rectangular shaped mirrors with a string attached to each one...similar to what you would see in chimes.  The only purpose I can see for the string is to remove one mirror at a time.

The night I had this dream...before I went to sleep I reminded myself that other peoples perceptions and comments are about them and not me.

I am underwater...the water is greyish...I am swimming up and I sidle up to a jellyfish but it does not sting me.  I am past the jellyfish...I climb up on a boat...there is a ladder in front of me.  I hide behind the ladder as I watch men haul giant pinkish/reddish crabs or lobsters out of the ocean up unto the boat.  They are not in traps...but they dwarf the men and the boat...but do not sink it.

Next I am walking down a street...a man appears walking along side of me...I engage him in conversation...you will like it here I say...he is carrying a light blue thermos and all of sudden I decide I want one too.  He stuffs the lining of the case for his thermos with what looks like black hair that has been cut off from someone's head.  I go to the store and get the thermos, but doubleback when I realize I forgot the black hair.  On my way to the store I pass a store window, it has a white down like parka with a hood rimmed with brown fur.

Tony,  I picked up a movie from the library today...non - fiction...Sleep Furiously...takes place in Trefeurig...have not watched it yet.  I thought I might like to see what your country is like.  Chris

Tim,

I have struggled with the same issues off and on...although they manifest in more ways.

I think the dream can help you if you focus on what feelings you need to express...just expressing your own feelings...regardless of if or how anyone else responds...is an act of love toward yourself and can soothe yourself.

(Self harm is a way of trying to deny that you are in emotional pain and that you need to soothe yourself).

As far as self soothing goes...soothing your body first...focusing on your senses...walking barefoot to connect with the ground, hot soaking baths, savoring your favorite foods, finding new foods that please your palate, feeling textures...enjoying colors...tactile activities....a class in pottery or clay maybe.  Keep a journal of your feelings while you are doing this on a daily or ritualized basis.

I would really like to hear back from you or see you continue to post.

Hi Mikey,

What came up for me that you did not mention was that Germany was divided into East and West until the wall came down....and the Germans also persecuted people they perceived to be less than.  If the latter applies, you could be on the receiving or giving end of that.

Christine

My ex husband is sucking on my right breast.  His head is buried...he is not looking at me to see how I respond.  I am feeling very frustrated as his tongue and mouth feel like that of a cow.  He does not treat the nipple differently than the skin on my breast.  I do not say anything.

I am in a living room standing in front of a tall white older man with clear glasses.  Someone hands me the right shoe of a woman.  It looks victorian, but also sexy and evil....black...scuplted heel about 3 inches high...not quite a boot but no skin would show up to the ankle.  There are two rows buttons up the front...black elastic fasteners in between ...a few hooks and eyes...some of the latter are missing.

The man says that I need to fix the shoe...there are more hooks and eyes somewhere in the boxes in the living room.
There are lots of boxes with Christmas decorations and ornaments...it will be a lot of work to go through them and find the hooks and eyes...so I delegate some of the work to him.  You do these and I'll do those.  He does not object.

Next my ex-husband takes me and my son, about 5...10 years younger than he is now, to stay with a dark woman with short hair.  My son is sitting on my right leg facing to my left...across from us is the woman...I tell my son that she is a teacher.  My son who does not speak starts talking to her non-stop about a girl he sees on the bus to school that he does not like with a face that is all squished up.  The way he describes the girl makes me think of a picture of me when I was her and his age. I am amazed at how well he is speaking and how detailed his description is.

Next I visit a girls bathroom with a young white girl and a young black girl.  The sinks and the toilets are not clean...so the two of them sit on a bench and I stand.  The black girl hands the white girl a comb.  It is purple and shaped like a fish...it looks like a fish skeleton.  The white girl combs her hair and hands the comb to me.  It is very much like a comb I had as a teenager...they were sold at the beach we used to vacation at in the summer.

Next my son, who appears as a girl with black hair, and I are in the living room with the boxes.  He walks over to a black upholstered chair and says "Look, someone left a needle here...you have to thread it."  There is a sewing needle with a large eye....and a long pice of black thread.

Honestly...I was skeptical...but this is what happened.

I took off the mask and I was looking at the same mask on someone else.  I saw myself but it was distorted... based upon the mask or image that person wanted to project and me to see.

I will probably keep practicing this...a good exercise.

Lately, images of the tips of penises belonging to males I know have come into my dreams.  Sometimes the tips have been damaged or cut in some way.

Tony,

Silly AND sweet, too.

Chris

Tony,

Thank you so much for your response.

About two months ago...a voice in my dream said "You are now leaving this earth."

Since them I have noticed more feelings in my body, with that taking the lead, and noticed less fearful and judgemental thoughts...less fight or flight reactions in my mind.  If I do have the latter at all, I seem to slip back into my body to see if it's true...if that makes any sense at all.

I also met someone...a man...about a month ago and in some ways have some deep positive feelings for him.  We are friends and lovers.  I am not sure if we are passing through each other's lives or if he might be a long term friend and or a long term partner...my goal has been just to stay "engaged" with him and see what happens...to treat each other as human beings first and male and female second.  For someone that has had very negative experiences with,  feelings about and behavior toward men he has been a balm for me of sorts.

Hi Aristocrates!

I am thinking that you might feel that you betrayed yourself by laying with her.  Seeing her have one light eye and one dark eye...maybe you were aware of her acting out her duality...her higher self and lower self.

I hope you are well.

Chris