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Messages - Tony Crisp

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2836
Dream Interpretation / Re: My Dream
« on: November 09, 2011, 09:39:37 AM »
Olga – Look, this is how it works. Your sister is a stage prop and represents whatever you associate with her. For example, if she is a support to you then she acts as that in your dream; or if she is someone who is always needy and desperate, then she represents that in your dream. So whatever you would describe her characteristics as that is what she depicts. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/characters-or-people-in-dreams/

As for ‘blood days’, again it depends on who the person is in your dreams saying it. But we all have lots of blood days – bloody awful days – in our lives. You must have had some yourself.

To really find out imagine yourself as your sister in the dream, and describe what she was feeling and what she meant. You must imagine yourself inside her body as it was in the dream, and do not mix it up with your exterior sister. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-in-your-dream/

Tony

2837
Healing Dreams / Re: Building a DreamLodge
« on: November 06, 2011, 11:59:37 AM »
The Grey Wolf thanks you for all you have given.

GW

2838
Healing Dreams / Re: Meeting Sophia
« on: November 06, 2011, 11:57:48 AM »
Yes - You are IT and always have been.

Of course forgetfulness comes, but it is easier to remember each time.

Tony

2839
Sara – Your description paints very clear picture of you having mixed communication with your dead mother. Everything that happens says it is about her death and survival afterwards, yet you are so lost in your grieving for her and wanting her back in her body the dream was skewed. You wanted it other than what it was.

She looked healthier and younger; she wanted to tell everyone that she was okay; she went up on high place where you could see far and wide; all signs that she had arrived at a better place, and all exactly what people who have had near death experiences say. Were Vitali and Uncle Fred dead?

As for the driving test, the main thing is that “I still was feeling the loss of mum”. You felt that even though you had one of the clearest dreams that your mother had survived. Surely it was a test. And it showed you were driving a fast and powerful body, and if you had let someone in you might have realise with great joy what you had experienced, instead of still wanting what cannot be. You might miss their physical presence, but you only grieve for the dead, not for the living.

Tony

2840
Dream Interpretation / Re: Telling B to stop
« on: November 02, 2011, 03:47:21 PM »
Rain_Dancer - That is an excellent idea. You can hold it out to the Presence.

I am holding your situation out to that wonderful healing Presence too.

Tony

2841
Dream Interpretation / Re: OBE to a beautiful place.
« on: November 02, 2011, 03:42:02 PM »

It sounds a bit like one of those computer games where you miss a clue, that if you found it would take you to a new level.

Try going back – in imagination – and interact with the snakes.

Tony

2842
Dream Interpretation / Re: dreaming of a chicken
« on: November 02, 2011, 03:36:30 PM »
M – This has all the earmarks of you feeling devastated by a relationship with a mother figure.

You – the baby bird – is feeling attacked and devoured. Did you have a difficult birth?

As a baby you could see it as being killed, and our dreams tend to say what we felt at the time rather than what was. If it has any truth in it I suggest you take that baby bird away form the red chicken – in your waking imagination, and care for it; as you do so watch for any feelings that arise. It might help to read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-in-your-dream/

Tony

2843
Dream Interpretation / Re: My crush
« on: November 02, 2011, 03:20:36 PM »
Trueman – Dream are notoriously the place where fantasies, longings, fears and hopes are reflected in the mirror of the sleeping mind.

So perhaps you took her image and used it to express some of your own desires for a partner. That she was in a bad mood in your dreams may have been because something else played a part in creating the dreams. And it was the seven fingers that was the cause of her/your unhappiness.

Fingers represent your grasp on things, your method of materialising yourself, or leaving your mark upon matter, therefore your personal skills. I can only guess that it is because you have not created a satisfying relationship with your fantasy girl. As seven is a number that often represents something beyond the ordinary, even religion, I wonder if it is because a personal attitude, born out of beliefs, that has stopped you actually materialising a relationship – materialise, to make it real.

In your dreams you can do anything, so why not imagine a situation in which she and you are happy together. If you try that in imagination you will come face to face with the feelings that stand in the way of satisfaction, and you can pass through them.

Tony

2844
General Discussion / Re: Working in a group
« on: November 01, 2011, 11:16:15 AM »
Thanks.

Did you get any information or insights into how it flowed into today's life?

Tony

2845
General Discussion / Re: Coex session
« on: November 01, 2011, 10:47:10 AM »
Matt – What usually happens as you learn to let go and allow things to happen is that you are taken through things that stretch you emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. So I get the impression that they were all things to gradually enlarge your range of expression. But usually they have meaning as well. So as you get used to being in that space you could ask it to give you some understanding – but not too soon or do not push for it. The first big one I had it took me three months to understand it, and it wasn’t sought, it just arrived. But when it did it explain a massive area of my life.

If you carry on you will be enlarged in your emotional range, and also your voice and your inner eye. It is all done without you trying. It is like Merlin’s training in the book where he becomes various animals and gradually gets powers. But this training is much wider so often one becomes different cultures, and of course opposite gender. In other words you gradually become a more whole human being – not just a body, but as a soul and spirit.

If you had completely lost control you would have gained a greater awareness.

Tony

2846
Dream Interpretation / Re: Lord shiva in my dream
« on: November 01, 2011, 10:25:37 AM »
LonelyWarrior – As soon as you started your worship you opened to an amazing energy that is basically your potential. It is already working on you, and you must have seen signs of it yourself. The dream is one such.

So do not think of it as far off. It is with you now, open to it with love and a smile.

Tony

2847
Dream Interpretation / Re: Telling B to stop
« on: November 01, 2011, 10:19:27 AM »
Rain_Dancer – Wow – a hard one.

He seems like a hard nut to crack – but in a way you are talking about yourself, so sitting as him might give a very different take on him – behind his mask so to speak.

Obviously I am guessing on the next part, but it sounds as if you are giving yourself a hard time. I have usually found the hard shell is there for protection because they are vulnerable. Maybe you are being a bit hard – “getting through to him until he breaks down” – and so the harder you push the harder his protective shell gets. It’s worth a try. And it is a part of you being dealt with.

Years ago I ran groups called Contact. The aim was to sit in front of a person and give honest and simple feedback. In other words you said whatever you felt about the person at that moment. Also they or you say whatever you felt as well. So you could say, “I really do not like being with you.” And it shouldn’t develop into a conversation where the other person says, “Well, the feeling is mutual.” Honest communication. I found that each person usually goes through a difficult phase and then finds real contact and communication.

Tony

2848
Dream Interpretation / Re: Juncture Point of Cross
« on: October 29, 2011, 11:35:14 AM »
Janet - Something very profound happened to you as the blackness surrounded you.

The story of the New Testament is - from my view - a list or descriptions of things we meet in growing to our full potential. The one you met was the point in the story where Jesus cries out, "My God, why have you forsaken me?"

From the point of view of it depicting levels of maturity, it is the point where we start to assume responsibility for our own life, and we see there is nothing but us - and that 'us' is everything. So God is no longer outside of us, and in the largest sense, you are it.

Tony

2849
General Discussion / Re: Working in a group
« on: October 29, 2011, 11:14:39 AM »
Matt – Thanks for that account, do you have any recollection of the race of you and the man with the hatchet – I presume it was a man?

In LifeStream I lived through a mass of death scenes. One of them I was a prisoner in the First World War. I had been captured by the Germans and my feet were tortured and then I was strapped face down on a bed and buggered by a number of people. After that I felt s if I as a person was also buggered. But then I hit another level of it and realised that it was like lucid dream, and it was all symbols of something I didn’t want to face up to. The First WW came about because my uncle had given me volumes or photographs of the war; I was about twelve at the time. It became a symbol of the first inner conflict I faced, in which I had a terrible battle with my sexuality, and had killed it stone dead. That was the torture, and being buggered was that having not outlet for my youthful sexual feelings they had all turned back on me – as it were I had f*****d myself up. The awful thing to face was that it was what I had done to myself, to kill the youthful self I could have been.

Later I dreamt of finding a dead body in a hole behind a house I was living in. I want to explain this in depth as it is an example of what emerges as you learn to identify with the dream characters. So forgive me for saying so much.

I started by being identified with the house. As such I described myself as one of those typically English suburban houses that are so like all the other houses near them; the great semidetached suburbia. And that was the type of house my parents moved into when they left London. That was my background, my social background. In being the house I realised that it represented the way people remain lost in the way everybody else lives. Going into such houses you see the same thing over and over. They have the same furniture, the same TV and armchair. This is England, and this was the environment and mental world I grew up in.
 
On exploring my feelings about my parents, I described and felt them as subtle background influences to my present life. They did not actually appear in my dream, and I described them as still existing influences, particularly in the sense of their lives which did not diverge much from the norm. By that I mean they in no way lived alternative lifestyles, not in diet, not in work, not in any way that I could see sexually. Again, here was the background I grew from. The area of their daring was in their marriage; this because the country girl who was my mother had fallen in love with a foreigner and dared to marry him – and he with her.

So in considering my parents they seemed to particularly emphasise that in some way my own life had diverged. This started when I was quite young, about 13 when I began to be interested in yoga. It then became greater toward the end of my twenties when I met G. L. and entered into the experiences of a very different life style.

The environment in which the house stood also had the feel, and deepened my sense of this suburbia as a background to what the rest of the dream was saying.
 
But it wasn’t until I got into the role of the dead body that any depth of feelings emerged. Almost as soon as I was in the role of the dead body I began to think about and feel things connected with the way I had killed my sexuality as a teenager. Gradually these feelings deepened and I was describing my feeling hatred in regard to sexuality and how the masses were pulled along by their genitals into some sort of conformity and performance. I felt anger and loathing for what I felt at the time were the cattle human beings were. I saw the people lining up to visit prostitutes and how people were helpless and controlled by their genitals - men and women.

I despised and hated them. I also felt repugnance at the way people talked about sex or appeared to enjoy it. It has to be understood that in that period in history in the UK, most of sex was depicted in terms of smut, dirt, animal desire, hidden pornography, or loveless f*****g.

I wept deeply, at times hardly able to breathe, and crying, with the pain of seeing what I had done to myself. I said sorry over and over. I saw that I need not have killed my love and sexuality, but could have expressed it in a tender and loving way.

I explored it and met the pain of killing my sexuality utterly, as well as all the attendant feelings about the common herd who are dragged by their genitals into loveless relationships - exactly what I was dragged into by the fact I had utterly killed all genital sensation for all those years.
 
I was able to follow the tracks back - once again - to my own actions, killing any contact with my mother. But then being treated like an alien in my own home town, and seeing my peers treat incoming refuges from the war in Europe like shit. As an 'Iti' I identified with them and felt 'different'. And was whipped across my face with a horse whip by a neighbour – me being about 7. Apart from which I seemed to be carrying this desire never to be like the 'herd' from the long past.

The body in the hole was that of the me I would have grown into if I had not murdered that beautiful part of me. In the UK at the time, and in my youth, sex was nearly always about dirt, smut, a quick f***, and hidden but rampant pornography and homosexuality. I wanted nothing to do with it. I wanted nothing to do with the manipulation via sexual desire that was going on around me. But of course, it need not have been like that, but I had no other role model at the time, so I did a terrible thing to myself. Also I lost all respect for my elders as in none of them could I see that gentleness of love. My schoolteachers were thrashing children with rods. The world was killing each other in tens of thousands. My mother had psychologically castrated me out of her fears for me, and my father hardly ever even spoke to me. So I divorced the world, and of course lost that wonderful quality of compassion for the human struggle. In the process I threw myself into the volcano of fighting the forces of life itself. I fought God and won, but was mortally wounded in the combat.

Here I stand, a wiser and hopefully gentler man.

Killing myself hadn't been a painless and easy death. I went and tried to explain some of it to my son, as he was born in the middle of that battleground, to two people who were essentially emotionally dead; though at that time I was fighting like mad to come alive again. Then later I came to check, only to find I was too late. Story of my life; too late to be a decent father; too late too change to rescue my marriage with my wife; too late to deal with my sexual misery to maintain my marriage with my second wife.
 
No need to counteract any of this. The fires are still burning in me and best to let the heat and smoke out. God, it is humbling to see how we create our life, step by step, and brick by brick. And then often we bemoan our fate instead of admitting our liability. But I have lifted and held that buried body, and taken it into my own that it can know life.

Tony

2850
Dream Interpretation / Re: Death Of My Young Daughter
« on: October 27, 2011, 01:07:23 PM »
Lotty – I cannot add much to what Mikey has said, except that I have received, over 40 years, many dreams of mothers who dreamt their baby or child was dead, and not one of them died.

One woman dreamt of such a death, and I had the good fortune to be with her and help her to enter her dream to explore it. What she found was that a death had taken place, represented by the child, and the death was that of her love for a man. She had ended a relationship that had lasted for years.

So if you can put yourself into your dream and speak as the dead baby, what would you find?

Tony

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