Jaclyn – This is about the confusion you live in inside you. It is usually childlike emotions such as jealousy, feeling you are unloved or deserted that causes such misery.
If you can admit that these are feelings that babies or young children have, and you are still at that age emotionally, it will help you leave such things behind. If you can admit that it gives you a chance to grow out of it. If you can’t shift from being a child emotionally your love life will be a continual torture.
Most of us have not actually matured to the point of being capable of love. The very roots of love arise out of the incredible survival drives of a baby totally desiring its mother to give utter and complete attention to it. Without that attention, millions of years of survival in harsh environments, tell the baby it will die. So it holds on to that connection with its mother or carer with every jungle trick it knows. These includes tantrums, acting out sickness, sulking, anger, emotional cut off to see if the parent still cares; and if you haven’t outgrown those, then you will use them in your adult relationships. In detail this means that you will have all those exotic and erotic feelings about the one you love as long as they don’t dare look at another person, and as long as they fulfil all your needs of dependency, fear, and all the other hang-ups we don’t really admit to ourselves.
Look around – most of us do not grow up. I know this story very deeply, because it happens to be mine. I fell in love with a woman and was like five year old child. It took a long time to grow up – but it was worth it.
Tony
