Chris - I do not understand celebrations. I don't celebrate my birthday or any occasion. Wedding 'celebrations' I have attended I usually creep away quickly. I do feel a joy about seeing people love each other - but all the drinking and eating I cannot feel any joy for.
I do love knowing people face to face - but otherwise I feel as if I am from another planet. I remember going to my wife's friends daughter's marriage. I sat at a table with people I knew, but a pressure built up inside me and I had to stand up and rush out of the room. My poor wife didn't know what to make of me or how to explain. It wasn't a fear, but I think I am partly a wild creature that needs fresh air and bursts out of rooms full of people. As soon as I was out of the room I was fine, as if I had escaped and was free and felt the return of joy. Sometimes I wonder if I am sensitive to other people and their feelings and thoughts - that is probably why I live alone with my cats. They are so beautifully honest and wild.