ex-girlfriend(dream)

[toocommon]

Hi people, pls help me. i want to know more about myself relating to my past relationship and how i view them now and how i will be affected.

two years ago i broke up with my ex-girlfriend, it is not a result of mutual agreement, and she is the one who wants to break. I must admit until now, i am still sometimes emotionally affected by this break-up.

and i quite often have dreams about my ex. in the dreams, some times i treat her as stranger and ignore her, sometimes like couple. for example, in a dream, i was having gathering with ex-schoolmates, we were all chatting and i know she was there as well, but just can't see her and wouldn't care. Sometimes, we were together like a couple, we hang out together, she cares for me, and it was a happy dream,until i woke up to realize she was just a history. last nite i had dream about her again, she was with my another friend, playing badminton infront of my neighbor's house. i was sad seeing her with another guy. and then they moved in the house. i saw them sitting at a table doing some work/writing/talking. the overall experience is sad to me.

what does it mean? does it simply means that i am still have not move on? or is there any other meaning? thanks.

[Tony Crisp]

Toocommon – I am sorry I missed seeing this the first time.

In the dreams there are two sides, two themes. The one is that you ignore your ex, and the other is that you are with her and all is well. Then the last dream is about feeling unloved.

If you think about this, you may see that these are things that children do when they are not loved or are deserted. The swing from one extreme to another, trying to find a way to break away or to be loved again. Then the last dream is typical of feeling unloved, and that is a nasty place to be. It isn’t saying you are not lovable, but that something has caused you to feel you are not wanted.

Such feeling are usually started in our childhood and can play on and on for a whole lifetime unless we recognise them and learn to grow beyond them. I know because it as taken me most of my life to grow beyond them. So recognise them as from childhood. Do not blame them on a partner. Do not hope to get love from someone else. Love is from yourself, then it doesn’t matter who is in your life. But that takes some growing. Perhaps Growing up to Love can be of some help to read.

Tony