Ray – This sounds like sad dream with all that rain. But it did have a good side in that the woman you love came out with an umbrella.
Considering you do not smoke, I see the fact you were smoking as important. As smoking is often a way to deal with unconscious anxiety or stress, it looks as if the situation you were in was causing you a lot of stress and you were trying to get rid of it. The rain was the releasing of feelings, emotions.
Being shot in the head shows how the feeling got so bad it felt like an explosion in your mind. So I think it is a very bad idea that you hide your feelings. I did that for years with a lovely woman, and ended up with a pain that didn’t go away for years. You could make yourself ill. Love is a force of nature, so let it show in some way.
Tony
