Nskorth – This is obviously about all the different feelings you are struggling with in regard to your husband. Even the hurt that your three year old suffered could suggest that your vulnerable feelings, shown as your son, has been hurt.
You have thoughts about other men because you are finding your present relationship painful to bear. And you have a conflict over this, so in our dreams sometimes we see the person who we wish was out of our life die – commit suicide. May be he couldn’t quite get out of your life in your dream because you still feel responsible. In a way that dreams have, his loss of face and his pain are also the pain that you feel because it has left you not knowing who you are and what to do.
I do not know if this will work, but sit and imagine a shinning person, a good a beautiful image, and ask it for help to find your way through this. Then sit in quietness and wait for a minute.
Tony