A dream interpreted with the help of a group

[Tony Crisp]

I had a dream that I worked on with the group’s help. In the dream I am walking along a corridor with a woman. I do not know who she is, and even in the dream she was rather shadowy. The corridor had the feeling of being in some sort of conference centre. I don’t know where we were walking. The main thing was that a man was hurrying toward us. He was short, well built, not quite to the point of being fat. His age was about mid fifties, and he was almost bald on the top of his head. His only garment was a light coloured jacket that came down to his mid thighs. It was rather like a martial arts jacket.

As he hurried toward us I had the impression he was slightly late for some seminar. In fact when he arrived at a door to our right that we were approaching along the corridor he stopped, opened it wider, and looked in. He seemed to see the teacher or guru - I had the definite sense it was a yoga or Eastern seminar inside the room. Pausing he stood in front of the open door and with feet fairly wide apart, bowed his head right to the floor, with hands held in a salute. This presented his bare behind to our view. His clean and hairless rectum was very evident. In writing this down though, I realise there was no view of genitals.

[Tony Crisp]

In working on the dream withe the group I first felt the posture to be one of surrender or acknowledgement of a teacher. But it was also a very powerful stance, and had in it the bums up sign. I imagined going into the room as the man.

As him I felt intelligent, confident, willing to reserve my opinions to learn. In the room an Eastern man in robes and regalia sat on a stage. Many people sat on the floor as if meditating. The guru figure was not saying anything. I had the sense of people trying to get wisdom from him, even if he were not speaking - as if his silence held wisdom. I sat and opened to learn what this personage was communicating. As I looked he winked at me. I felt this was a communication, as was his silence. He simply sat and looked around the room. Occasionally he ate something, then got up and left.

I felt as if I got the message. It was that he was not a goal. He was not something to look toward as if he were an answer. He was simply saying - you are the goal. Living your own life is the path and the goal. There is nothing to find, only yourself to live. You need someone to look at to learn this presumably, so I will sit here until you learn not to look at me.

With this realisation I felt great freedom and happiness. I was free to stay or leave. I chose to sit and watch or listen to the play between my own being and the world. Ann asked me ‘Who are you?’ This produced a burst of lifting, expanding, formless feeling in me. I was what I was. I am what I am. There was no words I could find to describe myself, my being - or any being. I said eventually to Ann that I had looked and looked for that answer and there was no answer, only living.

Ann also asked me what I heard as I sat listening. I replied that I heard the sound of her voice - and thereby someone with caring who was giving me their time and attention. It was a precious thing.

Suddenly powerful emotions arose in me about my son. With a roar I said that I had shown him
a path. He had taken it and run ahead and this was joyous.

At the end the feelings were that I no longer needed to hold onto objects, property, any more. I didn’t need so many security blankets. Simon