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Author Topic: All one  (Read 5272 times)

Rain_Dancer

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All one
« on: July 24, 2016, 03:31:51 AM »
So, I get that all of my dream characters are me...my brain is creating all of them and the scenario.  I feel kind of curious about some dream snippets I experienced last night.

I don't remember a lot of the dream - I mostly remember that there were other men around, who were also me, running around with long sharp garden shears, cutting things in their path.  One of them rushed past me (it was also me at the same time but my perspective was primarily as viewing him) and I grabbed the huge shears out of his hand reflexively, without even thinking or worrying about injury to myself.  I wondered at this...

Then, in the same room with the same people, a man approaches me.  He is my father (not resembling my father in waking life).  I am so physically attracted to him.  I feel extremely aroused by him, and, I am him at the same time feeling turned on by me.  I am wrapped around him, grinding on him and he is holding me.  We may be saying, this is ok now or something along those lines, and I feel like I can hardly stand to hold back and am practically begging him to enter me but at the last minute, something stops us and it might be "his" guilt or mine or some sense of wrongness, not exactly sure.    I felt sad and rejected and frustrated.

In waking life, I've been diligently moving towards getting unstuck in my life.  I've managed to create a car accident where I totalled my car, it caught on fire!  Yet I walked away with only bruises, feeling very focused on the euphoria of having survived, but at the same time I managed to put myself in a hole financially.  I then went on to make some extensive and expensive damage to a friend's vehicle that I'm not sure how I will pay for, putting me further in a financial hole.  I broke a long-standing pattern of 'chasing' an unavailable and disrespectful man, even though it felt agonizing because the chemistry was so intense and the self-doubting voices telling me I was screwing everything up were at full volume...sigh...

Not long ago I dreamed of the same shadowy father figure, only then I woke up feeling electric shocks all through me and FURY at his abuse of me.  Which is my own abuse of myself, I suppose.

It seem the inner saboteur is coming out in force, it all feels related.  I don't know exactly how to handle all of this or what to make of it.  I'm sort of fishing for an epiphany here.. :D



Tony Crisp

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Re: All one
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2016, 09:46:11 AM »
Rain Dancer – I hope I gave you an epiphany in your sleep – it takes that sort of environment for it to be really experienced. 

But about everything being you, well it is true that in dreams, as in thinking about someone, we only experience our thoughts, emotions and beliefs about them, so we can never say we experience them. We often add a twist or colour to our dream or experience of them. But what you said about your, “FURY at his abuse of me” might be your feelings about things that took place – so don’t blame it all on yourself.

Your dreams are very expressive of actively doing things you probably wouldn’t do while awake. The running around with long sharp shears seems an aspect of you was ready to cut your way through even if people were about. Good job you took responsibility for the shears.

The hot scene with your father that ended with feeling rejected and frustrated is a mixture of the earliest desires we have about wanting to be ravished by dad, and your adult feelings – stalemate. As children, for women this is the fulfilment of childhood desires to possess, own and be loved by father. It might also be a sign of gaining power over a dominant and uncaring father or father figure – someone you needed loving support and encouragement from and never received it.

So do not tie yourself in knots by thinking it is sinful, wrong or forbidden in dreams to have fulfilling sex with a father figure. As you said, “He is my father (but not resembling my father in waking life).” Which illustrates how in dreams we are not dreaming about an actual person, but a created dream image which allows us to express deeply held feelings. So you are only taking in your thoughts, impressions and feelings about them. So many people do not realise that they have an inner person equally as powerful as the external person you know. You have taken in millions of bit of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by meeting or living with them, and they are what makes you the person you are.  The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner person can appear in dreams because you still carry the memories or impressions of them, and so they influenced what you hold within you.

As for the rest of your message, it sounds like a rough patch you are going through. Having been through many of these, looking back they often lead to radical changes of direction or a revaluation. The mention of the “long-standing pattern of 'chasing' an unavailable and disrespectful man” – this might be a result of frustration of not having your father. But also women and men can do the most ridiculous things in the name of love. See http://dreamhawk.com/relationship-sex/ages-of-love-2/

Tony

Rain_Dancer

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Re: All one
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2016, 09:25:11 PM »

Your dreams are very expressive of actively doing things you probably wouldn’t do while awake. The running around with long sharp shears seems an aspect of you was ready to cut your way through even if people were about. Good job you took responsibility for the shears.



Ohh, thank you for that reflection!  i appreciate it!
Sigh...yes, i always think I've got this stuff worked out and then it comes 'round again.  I had a fling with someone I had crazy chemistry with who reminded me physically of my father, and also very quickly he turned mean and critical, with very little understanding of or regard for my feelings so I broke it off.  The feeeeeeelllings were so intense and there has been a lot that got stirred up to process in the wake.  Good, good stuff but feels all out of control! :)

Thank you also for the reminder that it's just a rough patch.  In some ways you do fill in that father spot for me with your wisdom and perspective and you give me a calm and accepting male voice when I feel distressed over my dreams, thank you!

Tony Crisp

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Re: All one
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2016, 10:06:20 AM »
Rain Dancer - Thank you for all that you send me of yourself. I send you a hug  :)

Dreams can show our sense of self, our identity, either in the body or naked of it, as surrounded by a community of beings and objects separate from the dreamer, and frequently with a will of their own.

If we place our self in the centre of a circle and put all our dream characters, animals and objects around them, and if we transformed these objects and beings into the things they depicted, such as sexuality, thinking, will, emotions, intuition, social pressure, hormonal influences, fears, ideas and images from media or people, our instinctive drives etc., we would see what a diverse mass of influences we stand in the middle of.

It also becomes obvious that our ‘I’, our personality, sees these things as outside of us in nearly all dreams. Even our own internal urges to love or make love may be shown as external creatures, so we have a multitude of ways of relating to these aspects of self. Therefore, the depiction of self in dreams is not simple.

 “The feeeeeeelllings were so intense and there has been a lot that got stirred up to process in the wake.” I don’t know if it helps, but if you begin to realise that the fundamental you is just pure consciousness, rather like a mirror, and the things you experience as the external world are reflected in the mirror, it sometimes helps to gain a new perspective. Otherwise our Self gets locked into experiencing everything in the raw and we are thrown around by it.

I know it sounds like mumbo-jumbo but if you can imagine yourself in the centre of the circle and consider the mass of impressions we face each day; it might become real.

Tony
« Last Edit: August 02, 2016, 10:28:41 AM by Tony Crisp »