BR – In life and sleep we have two powerful actions working in us. The first is our waking experience based on having a body, its limitations, vulnerabilities and a particular gender. Our second is the power that gave us life and continues to express as spontaneous movement in dreams, in our breathing and heartbeat – our life. This I have given the description as the Life Will.
This Life Will, because it has a much larger reference base than our human, personal self, often has a different view of our actions. I don’t see it as a moralising view, but one based on our innate homeostatic process - The tendency of the body to seek and maintain a condition of balance or equilibrium within its internal environment, even when faced with external changes. The action also works with out mental as well as our physical self.
So I see your dream as a way to attempt a balancing of your life activity. Your conscious self and your Life core have different feelings, so you experience feeling ‘disturbed, with the confused, hurt feelings still lingering inside me.’
But we have to remember that having a personality with self awareness is a very new thing and has only existed for a short time. Before that we were like animals that lived only in the Life Will – what we usually call instincts. So the development of self awareness was and is an immense step, and leaves us very vulnerable, and still does. Look around at the number of people who have to take anti-depressants, or who have to use alcohol every day, or smoke or take other drugs – all means of facing the difficulty of meeting self awareness.
Obviously we are in the midst of huge personal and social change, and to find peace we may need to balance the needs of our personal life with our core process. See
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/core/ also
http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/opening-to-life/ Tony
