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Author Topic: Am I healing?  (Read 98 times)

Omega

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Am I healing?
« on: February 12, 2018, 10:37:59 AM »
Hi Tony. At one point in my life I read a lot about dreams, spirituality etc..doing yoga, meditation I managed to lucid dream about twice, after some work dedicated to getting to that point. I'm a bit disappointed that that's as far as I got. Is there a usefulness to lucid dreaming in relation to healing? I feel pretty incapable of lucid dreaming. My dreams are powerful and much happens there, but lucidity seems out of my reach. In recent years my dreams have just been a cascade of trauma dreams, which obviously needed processing, so I just had to yield to that, there was no choice. And also yield to illness and yield to pain and to life falling apart.

Last week (after a healing meditation) I dreamt a 'healer' covered in children's drawings on his skin, put his mouth to my neck and using his mouth and hands (but not physically touching me) started moving the energy through my body to try heal me. This was following on a previous scene of a man violently abusing a young child. Last night I dreamt I was in a toilet cubicle where I somehow knew many women had died, and as soon as I entered a powerful force just grabbed me and slapped me against the tiles and I could feel it pulling the life out of my body as I cried for help. It was like their deaths, their anger/despair, their energy was sucking me into the same fate.

Generally I'm wondering am I getting anywhere? Am I healing? What are signs of healing? Should I 'do' something? I've been trying to approach it all in a lifestream way and I do believe the 'yielding to what is happening' has reduced my suffering and helped me most. Should I  aim for lucid dreaming again? it has been a very very long road, hope would be nice..

Any thoughts appreciated
« Last Edit: February 12, 2018, 09:26:07 PM by Omega »

Tony Crisp

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Re: Am I healing?
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2018, 12:35:46 PM »
Omega – I can only report from my own experience. Although I have had some amazing experiences of out of body and lucid experiences, I see them as only steps in our growth. The things I reported in http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/lucidity/ once experienced were not repeated. Of course they have left influences on the way I now experience everyday life, and of course I longed to keep repeating the experiences, but I saw, or was shown, there is always different things to experience and learn by.

I know this is not what people expect, but a while ago I started an Old Fart’s Diary. I’ve noticed lately how important it is to tell people my age - etc. I say that to emphasise the importance of humour, and to not take ourselves so seriously. I also wrote ages ago, that I am a crazy old guy who fell in love with Life – that is Life, not living, which can at times be a trial. I do not want to fly to courses in a helicopter, or in fact to lead courses. It is enough and deeply satisfying to simply live my life. But I do enjoy replying to people’s dreams, although I am feeling more tired than ever before, and so cannot keep up with the dreams sent in the Comments section.

Here is a dream I experienced about April 1991.

“I had the definite sense it was a yoga or Eastern seminar inside the room. Pausing a man stood in front of the open door and with feet fairly wide apart, bowed his head right to the floor, with hands held in a salute. This presented his bare behind to my view. His clean and hairless rectum was very evident. In writing this down though, I realise there was no view of genitals.

In working on the dream I first felt the posture to be one of surrender or acknowledgement of a teacher. But it was also a very powerful stance, and had in it the bums up sign. I imagined going into the room as the man. As him I felt intelligent, confident, willing to reserve my opinions to learn. In the room an Eastern man in robes and regalia sat on a stage. Many people sat on the floor as if meditating. The guru figure was not saying anything. I had the sense of people trying to get wisdom from him, even if he were not speaking - as if his silence held wisdom. I sat and opened to learn what this personage was communicating. As I looked he winked at me. I felt this was a communication, as was his silence. He simply sat and looked around the room. Occasionally he ate something, then got up and left. I felt as if I got the message. It was that he was not the goal. He was not something to look toward as if he were an answer. He was simply saying - you are the goal. Living your own life is the path and the goal. There is nothing to find, only your self to live. You need someone to look at to learn this presumably, so I will sit here until you learn not to look at me.”

And that is where I am today.

Tony
« Last Edit: February 14, 2018, 12:38:11 PM by Tony Crisp »

Omega

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Re: Am I healing?
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2018, 01:14:05 PM »
Thank you Tony. Yes I totally get that. Thank you for those examples . (I will read back through the lucidity chapter now) I'm very much into the ordinary life containing all we need..

I guess there must be an arrival at some healthy 'functionality' on the healing path?
Because to be in 'crisis' and 'under attack' on the inner/outer planes, very often just amounts to ongoing suffering.
The deam mentioned here, shows powerlessness and suffering is still in my system. I still have traumatic dreams. So I see my duty to myself, is to get out of that suffering.

I guess through my dreams I am meeting and meeting and meeting it...until eventually I become empowered and these forces no longer have power over me? Therefore my plan is to 'dream on' and 'lifestream on' and see where it takes me.

Then I'll be able to move through the world, living, loving, creating, rather than spend all my energy recovering from various forms of attack.

I greatly appreciate the work you do here. Thank you
« Last Edit: February 14, 2018, 01:26:47 PM by Omega »

Tony Crisp

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Re: Am I healing?
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2018, 02:48:22 PM »
Omega - It was very helpful to me at one point to read http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/secret-of-time-and-satan/

Tony