Tammyw – I weep when I read what you have said, because I can feel your loss. But honestly dear woman you are focussing on the wrong thing. Please do not focus on your loss but on the wonderful glowing angel you have actually given birth to.
The proof is there before you in your dreams – the wonderful Garden, the amazing glow, and his green eyes looking at you. They are all describing the baby that you actually gave birth to, but not in the body. For children who are not given life in the body, there is a place where the little ones are cared for until they are established in their new life.
So talk to London and say how beautiful he looks, and tell him all the things a loving mother tells her child. Believe me he is there with you. I know because I have been there and know how it seems impossible. So please read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/dreaming-of-death/#Talking
I wrap you in the peace I feel.