Midlander – The first impression I get is that he is dead but not buried – the grave is empty.
The figure 34 is a strange one symbolically as it has links with many points of view. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/thirty-four/
But I like the meaning given in the I Ching for Hexagram 34 which starts off -
“When many wide connections exist with great inner ability and power there arises extraordinary brilliance. This quality may awe those less gifted or having fewer connections. Its force shakes the world and brings changes.
Understanding its workings can lead to deep insight into the nature of things. Certainly persistence in this direction will bring great reward.”
But I had an insight into your situation while exploring a dream about my dead father. I managed to open up and let the thing flow from within. I saw that anyone we deeply connect with, even if they have died, yet lives on inside us. And unless we deal with them as a living but maybe troubling part of us we will find no peace.
The thing that give peace is to image the person we are feeling alive inside us, open to them as fully as we can, and see and feel all the hurt and distress. That is seeing them as something that will continue to be a sore part. The next thing it to see what parts of them you can add to your store of things you can build into yourself.
This is why it says that you should honour your father and mother. It say this because they are so much a part of you, as this man is in you, that to not sort it out you will be left crippled. So it isn’t accepting their weakness but almost like digesting it so what is healthy can be built into you, and what is not can be passed out.
So do not weep beside an empty grave.