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[Midlander]

Hi Tony

A few nights ago, I dreamt I was in my house (although it wasn't like my current house - similar but not this house) and I opened a door to a room I hadn't been in for a long time. It had been newly decorated and the workmen who had decorated the room (who are known to me in waking life) had spent time and care but I had left the door closed and the heating turned off and left it for a long time. The resulting condensation had made the painted lining paper peel from the walls and it was hanging off in large sheets. I felt sorry that I had neglected and not appreciated the room and had not visited it. I knew I needed to repair the damage and appreciate the room and use it.

This is from your dictionary page, Tony:

Light blues: Your sense of intuition, or achieving a wide awareness of life. Blue also links with religious feelings and experience of the holy – i.e. an awareness of those things that are universal – such as birth, caring relationship, parenthood – and so recognised as transcending ones own small life.

I was pondering about why I had let my meditation slip and had been less mindful of transcendence these last months..........looking back, I realised it began at the death of my friend. Grief is a hard thing and sometimes to preserve ourselves, we shut parts of ourselves down, I know. Time to turn back to the blue room.........

Do you have any other observations, Tony?

[Tony Crisp]

Hi Midlander – I want to say some things to you but not in a critical way. I want to share a wonderful truth – grief is a form of blindness. It comes from not being able to see the apparently invisible truths around us – the truth that death is a wonderful thing, a real release from the body. Please see http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions/#TalkingDead

Despite the death of my mother and father and also a best friend, I have never felt grief.

The room is worth taking time with. Its rewards are wonderful. To quote from something else on this site: “There is no ‘wave a magic wand’ route to this. It will not happen because you read a great book, or look at a good dream dictionary. Those things might help, but the real magic lies in whether you can enter into your dream or into yourself in the right way. It lies in the difference between being merely curious, and really wanting to know. It matters whether you are a watcher of the sport of life, or a player. A player gets involved, struggles against difficulties, and works toward a goal. Extracting the magic from a dream and life needs just those qualities. You don’t need to be extraordinary to do that – just an ordinary person with some persistence and courage. If you have that and travel into your dreams, the rewards are like a key opening the door to a magical world.

I am such an ordinary person. I found the key. I opened the door. And I travelled in that magical world!”

Tony

[Midlander]

Thanks Tony. Maybe the blue room is about 'feeling blue' too; maybe I also need to spend time acknowledging feeling blue........

It's interesting that you say what you do about grief; I think my issue is really that I have not been grieving enough: I haven't allowed the space and time to acknowledge the loss in order to move on. Whilst I agree that death is a marvellous thing, the reality is that when someone physically dies, there is a loss (in all sorts of ways: relationally, socially, physically) and, for me, I know that loss has to be acnowledged, embraced and let go in order to move to the new relationship with the person who has died.

The irony is that I am working with the dying, death and bereavement all the time with other people and I discuss these things with them - I can support other people in their struggles, losses and grief but it's when it's personal that it becomes a whole new ballgame; I can't teach myself through my 'head' I have to learn it with all of me.

I have been spending some time with the blue room........the decoration needs repairing before I can really sit and enjoy it's peace and coolness.........you're right; it has its rewards.

Thank you!

[Tony Crisp]

Hi Midlander - I worked nursing geriatrics and they were all dying. I even got them ready for burial, stuffing cotton wool in all the orifices. So I have not led a sheltered life. What I do feel is other people's agony at loss. It is something I would like to show people how to be without so much pain.

At my father's death, a man I loved, I had a wonderful experience instead of grief.

Tony