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Quite a few people these days maintain they've been 'touched by an
angel.' Others have an equally mysterious sense of being trailed by a
cherub! Susan Clarke, for example, describes it this way: "During
the months before my son was conceived, I could almost 'see' this
little male cherub floating above my head, laughing."
In a previous column, Steven and his wife described Steven's initial
vision of a beautiful toddler, a vision that was followed by a series
of contacts with the same charming child. "He seemed to be
continually tapping us on our shoulders, reminding us of his presence,"
said Miriam. This kind of gentle persistence is apparent in many
accounts of communication before conception. In many cases, the
communicating presence is perceived as a baby or very young child,
often manifesting a definite personality. It's not surprising
therefore that some people refer to their visitor as "a cherub."
One woman speaks of the visits she received as a "courting
relationship." Trilby writes, "I most emphatically had an
experience of contact with my little darling before he was conceived.
In short, I just perceived a presence near me (with the awareness
centered at my third eye) that always caused me to look slightly
upward. As I paid more attention to the presence I began to apprehend
it as a small flame, similar to what one sees off a lit candle. This
'courting' relationship went on for several months before I conceived.
During those months I felt as if I were being tailed, and every now
and then I'd be aware that somebody was trying to get my attention. It
all felt very romantic."
While some people have visual impressions, for others the
communication comes in a different form. In Sarah Hinze's book Coming
From the Light, a mother writes, "My experience with the unborn
is very simple. We had five children, plus one miscarriage, and were
trying, at this point, not to have another baby. But in quiet moments,
I would hear a small, almost audible voice say, 'My name is James, and
I'm ready to be born.'"
A Hovering Presence
Becky began to correspond with me while pregnant with her first
child. She described in detail her experience of a pre-conception
presence. "In November of last year I began to be aware of a
little spirit presence hovering around me," she wrote. "At
first the awareness was dim, then it became so noticeable that I felt
it whirring above my right shoulder." Her story continues:
"A month or so after the dawning of this contact, I began to
talk about it with people close to me. Several related that this was a
common experience for women about to become pregnant. When I heard
this, my inner eyes widened. For a while around this time, my little
baby spirit seemed to have wandered away. I wondered if I should have
kept its presence a secret. After the turn of the year, the spirit
reappeared, this time hovering in front of my left hip."
Now Becky gained a visual sense of a baby. "She looked to be
about six months old, dark blue eyes and dark brown hair, clearly an
animated little girl. I tried to have dialogues with her in my
imagination from time to time. She seemed to be communicating to me
that I should hurry, that she could not wait much longer, that I had
to heal my wounds in order for her to have a safe home to dwell in."
As Becky continued to postpone conception, the presence gradually grew
smaller until it was only a dot, "still hovering but no longer
communicating." A week after it disappeared, Becky discovered
that she was pregnant.
Becky wrote when her daughter was a year old, "Since her birth,
my sense of our pre-pregnancy communing is even more grounded, partly
because of the perspective of hindsight and partly because she truly
is the baby spirit who visited me, physically as well as
personality-wise. I will never get over how magical it is, from the
pre-beginning all the way through and beyond."
Playing Peek-a-Boo
Like the "laughing cherub" mentioned above, the visitor in
the following story seems to express a playful, joyous spirit. Cambria
Henderson writes, "I was busy in the kitchen, cleaning up after
lunch for my three year old son, two year old daughter and one year
old baby. It had been a hectic morning, but they were all quietly
napping at the moment. Or so I thought!
"I heard the giggle behind me and supposed that my son was
playing 'peek-a-boo' with me. I felt the glee, as my little one peeked
around the corner, saw me, and then quickly withdrew before I could
turn around. If he weren't so delighted with himself (and so cute!) I
would have scolded him and sent him back to bed. But that happy little
giggle had me completely charmed.
"I went busily about my work, cleaning the countertops,
pretending not to hear. I suddenly caught a reflection of a sweet
little face, in the mirror that was sitting on my counter. I turned
quickly, hoping to surprise and delight him and then chase him back to
his bed with hugs and tickles. However, I was the one to be surprised!
As my little one turned to run down the hallway, I realized that he
had taken all of his clothes off. All I could see was the bare
backside of this precious child.
"I thought it strange, as I went after him, that when I turned
the hall corner, I couldn't see him. I didn't think he could run quite
that fast. I also noticed and thought it strange that my house
suddenly became very quiet. I stopped in front of the door to the
nursery, thinking I would play a trick on him. I decided I would sneak
up on him. The burst of laughter from him, when I startled him, would
tickle my heart forever.
"I plastered myself up against the wall and slowly started
sneaking around the doorway, suppressing my own giggles. Suddenly, I
stopped short. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. All three of my
children were quietly napping in their beds. All three of them fully
dressed! I stood in the doorway in amazement. Who was my little
visitor? Where did he go? And why did he choose to visit me and be so
playful? I didn't know. I didn't have any answers.
"Many years later, as my youngest child was playing a game of
'peek-a-boo' with me, after getting out of the tub, she turned and ran
down the hallway, giggling with delight. She was so pleased with
herself, being such a tease with mom. A feeling of deja-vu swept over
me, and it all came rushing back. I suddenly realized that she had
been my child visitor. I had had the incredible opportunity of sharing
a sweet, loving moment with my child, five years prior to her birth."
A Grandmother's Story
Most pre-conception contacts are experienced by parents-to-be, but
this is not always the case. Grandparents, siblings, other family
members and friends may also sense a communicating presence. Sheila
Berry enjoyed many visits from her grandsons, from a realm that seems
to be simultaneously after death and before birth.
In October, 1994, Sheila's daughter-in-law gave birth prematurely to
twin boys. "The smaller of the two boys had only half a heart and
could not survive," Sheila explains. "Moreover, the twins
were in a single amniotic sac, a very rare occurrence. Because of the
single sac, attempts to take the smaller twin resulted in the loss of
both babies." Sheila tried to deal with the loss by denying that
the babies were real persons. But a year later, they became very real
to her. During a group meditation at an A.R.E. conference (Association
for Research and Enlightenment), Sheila suddenly felt her grandsons'
presence --a lively, bubbling presence. She relates:
"They stayed with me through the end of the conference, and I
kept 'hearing' them say, 'We have to get our mom a birthday gift.'
After the conference concluded, my husband and I stopped at the A.R.E.
Visitor Center and went into the book store. I said nothing to my
husband, but let the twins guide me in finding a gift for their
mother. Angel wind chimes? No. A poster? No, not quite right. A tape
or CD? No. Then my husband approached, holding out a book he had
found: 'Our Children Forever,' messages to parents from their
children, discerned by the psychic George Anderson. Yes! And they were
clear about the inscription, too: 'To our Mom, from your boys. Happy
birthday. We love you.'
"Initially, I would feel the presence of both twins, but that
gradually changed over the next year. It was as if the smaller twin
stepped to the background; he had accomplished what he set out to do
in that brief expression of spirit in flesh, and was content where he
was. The larger twin, Taylor, began to 'come around' by himself. I
would feel him around me from time to time in much the same way I had
at the conference.
"When I learned in 1995 that my daughter-in-law was again
pregnant, I understood why. But about three months into that
pregnancy, when I once again felt Taylor's presence, there was a
strong sense of sadness around him. I knew something was wrong and
called my daughter-in-law. She confirmed what she had just learned,
that the fetus she carried was too deformed to survive. 'Try again,' I
told her, prodded by the soul who wanted to be her child. 'You'll have
a healthy baby the next time.'
"In March of 1997, I suddenly felt his presence again. This
time it was bubbly and vital, playful and almost teasing. I called my
daughter-in-law. 'Are you pregnant,' I asked, and she said she thought
so, but no one knew yet, not even my son. But her son knew. He came
around to visit me less and less as the pregnancy progressed and he
fitted himself to his new life. On October 13, 1997, exactly three
years after his first try, Taylor was born to the parents he was
determined to have."
Choice or Destiny?
These marvelous stories may lead us to conclude that the makeup of
our families is a prearranged destiny. But is there evidence that
choice also plays a part? In the next column, we'll look at
experiences that suggest the possibilities of creative freedom and
flexibility.
Please consider sharing your own stories of communication before
conception, through future installments of this column. Contact me,
Elisabeth Hallett, by email at soultrek@montana.com, or at P.O.Box
705, Hamilton, MT 59840.
Special thanks to Sarah Hinze for the story by Cambria Henderson; to
Sheila Berry for A Grandmother's Story, and to Susan, Trilby, and
Becky, contributors to Soul Trek: Meeting Our Children on the Way to
Birth.
Brief Book Review
Sarah Hinze: Coming From the Light:
Spiritual Accounts of Life Before Life (Simon & Schuster, 1997).
It is often said that when the time is ripe for a new idea, it will
occur to several people at once.
Unknown to each other, Sarah Hinze and I both gathered stories of
pre-birth and pre-conception contacts over many years. Her book,
initially published as Life Before Life, has been revised and reissued
in a Pocket Books edition as Coming From the Light: Spiritual Accounts
of Life Before Life (Simon & Schuster, 1997). The new edition is
enhanced by an Afterword by Sarah's husband, psychologist Brent Hinze,
Ph.D., in which he draws comparisons between near-death and pre-birth
experiences and analyzes the aspects of a "typical"
pre-birth contact.
Sarah's approach is deeply spiritual and reverent. She presents more
than thirty inspiring personal stories from parents and adoptive
parents, describing connections with their children before conception
and during pregnancy (or the pre-adoption period). Sarah's own
experiences are perhaps the most remarkable of all, told in the moving
first chapter. It opens with the words, "My interest in life
before life is very personal. Before each of our nine children was
born, I sensed that he or she was preparing to come to earth."
Excerpts of this lovely book can be read online at
Sarah's website.
INVITATION: Please join in exploring the mysteries of communication
before conception. If you have had such an experience, please consider
sharing it here! You can contact me by e-mail at soultrek@montana.com
or by letter: Elisabeth Hallett, Box 705, Hamilton MT 59840.
Purposeful Contact: The Mysterious Power of
Children-To-Be Elisabeth Hallett
It was midwinter and pitch-dark when the Volkswagen skidded off the
road into an icy river. Unable to fight her way to shore, C. was
exhausted, ready to give up and surrender to the freezing water when
suddenly a voice protested...
C. is a down-to earth, level-headed woman, and an old friend. The
adventure she related to me happened three years before the birth of
her first child, when she and her husband were driving home to Montana
after a Christmas trip. In her own words:
"We were anxious to get to our cabin in the Swan Valley so we
drove night and day. We stopped in Great Falls for gas and were warned
not to cross Rogers Pass because there was wind and extreme cold.
Being young, we went along anyway. After crossing the pass we stopped
for a cheeseburger and fries -- it was about 9:00 P.M.
"As we started up the Swan Highway we encountered a snow packed
highway. As we came around the corner, a large amount of snow blew off
the bank above us causing a glare of snow and lights. I thought a car
was coming toward us so I swerved, over-corrected, went into a spin
and flipped over, and landed on our wheels in the Stillwater River.
"J. tried to paddle the car with the snow shovel but we were in
a small whirlpool and just went around in circles. He climbed out the
window into the river and got the spare tire out of the trunk for me
to float on. He swam for shore and I tried to push off from the car on
the tire. Unfortunately the tire was attached, so that I couldn't use
it for flotation as it was going down with the car. By this time I was
ready to give up, death seemed a treat (I thought I would see my
mother again). J. hollered at me from shore and then seemed to
disappear under the ice. I resigned myself to an easy death.
"Then I heard, 'But I haven't even been born yet!' This didn't
seem relevant at that time, but a hand or force or whatever seemed to
grab me by the collar of my jacket and much as a cat carries a kitten,
propelled me to shore. Later, when we had broken into a cabin and were
running out of energy, I woke up and seemed to hear the same
admonition -- "I'm not born yet." We were rescued in the
morning.
"Three years later my son was born. The first night I was home
with him he woke in the night to be fed. As I nursed him I had a
vision back into the past of my mother, grandmother and so on nursing
their children, and I felt connected to this pattern or plan. Then I
knew it was my son who had spoken the night of the accident."
This wonderful story illustrates one of the intriguing patterns in
communications before conception: they often seem to have a definite
purpose. In this experience, as in many others, the apparent purpose
is to overcome an obstacle to conception. The untimely death of your
intended mother would surely be a serious problem! But there are other
roadblocks on the way to birth, and other stories that suggest the
same amazing possibility--that children-to-be are somehow able to
intervene and deal with obstacles to their own arrival.
In the story of Miriam and Steven, for example (see part I, this
column), Miriam was not only emotionally opposed to motherhood, but
had even undergone surgery to prevent it. It took a whole series of
visionary and dream contacts with a very appealing little boy to
overcome her resistance.
When people have lost a child, their grief and fear can become
barriers to risking pregnancy again. Patricia and her husband were
devastated when their first pregnancy ended with a stillborn baby
girl. They were inclined to shut the door on parenthood forever -- and
then, as Patricia says, "I met another child in my dreams. His
name was Luka, and he said he would wait for us to welcome him into
our lives."
But Patricia was not ready. She still had months of anger and sorrow
to endure, and most of all, the fear of another loss. Yet the
dream-child was persistent. He appeared again the following year, with
the same message that he was waiting to be welcomed. "Why was
this happening?" says Patricia. "How could I get this out of
my mind?" She continues: "That autumn, I started to realize
how depressed I really was. I was functioning in the outside world,
but it was apparent in therapy that this sadness had a grip on me. I
even thought about whether life was worth continuing. I had had so
many losses in my life, and this was about all I could endure.
"Then, the vision to end all visions happened. I'll never
forget it. I was taking a shower, alone, on a sunny Saturday
afternoon. I heard this voice (There was no visual). I can't say the
voice was loud, or startled me, or anything like that. But it spoke in
no uncertain terms to me, and then vanished. He said that I was
perfectly ripe to accept him into our lives, and that this was our
last chance because he had to move on.
"I opened up like a lotus to the notion of having this child
come into our lives. I felt a cloud lift. But I stood in the shower in
slight disbelief. I didn't know what to do, but I felt lightness,
love, hope, and happiness. I told my husband (as I had always done
when I got these visions), and asked him if he would be interested in
reconsidering our baby decision. When Peter said he wanted this baby,
too, I can't tell you how elated I felt. Maybe I've never felt such
joy. We made love once, and the rest, they say, is history. Luka was
conceived that day."
Where does the parent-and-child bond begin? The editorial of the
APPPAH Newsletter of Spring 1997 made an important point. "Considering
what we know about the realities of life before birth," it
proposes, "shouldn't we be setting the clock of parenting back
from 'early' (birth to three) to 'very early' (conception to birth)?"
Now, these stories of a presence even before conception have me
wondering: Is it time to look even further back for the beginning of
our connections with our children?
INVITATION: Please join in exploring the mysteries of communication
before conception. If you have had such an experience, please consider
sharing it here! You can contact me by e-mail at soultrek@montana.com
or by letter: Elisabeth Hallett, Box 705, Hamilton MT 59840.
Books for Further Exploration
Conscious Conception, by Jeannine Parvati Baker and Frederick Baker,
1988 (Freestone Publishing Co & North Atlantic Books) was one of
the first books to talk about parenthood as a relationship that begins
in a spiritual dimension. Subtitled "Elemental Journey through
the Labyrinth of Sexuality," this classic book really is like a
labyrinth to explore! It's an unusual blend of earthiness and
spirituality, with a wealth of interesting material from several
contributors.
Through all the stories and articles runs the daring assumption that
an unborn child is a conscious presence before conception. There are
many examples of pre-conception communication, as felt by men as well
as by women. For example, a father describes a reverie he experienced,
some months before the conception of his child. While half-asleep, he
found himself in a rose garden. "Just about the time I started
thinking about leaving, I felt something move. It was more like a
shift in energy than anything else. I looked over towards the
fountain. Seated on a marble bench was a robed figure. It was smiling
at me.
"I'm not one to go around seeing things, visions or otherwise.
However, I was now very curious. So I asked the figure who it was. I
started to repeat my question when I suddenly knew the answer. This
being was waiting to come through us. The 'us' was my lover and I.
This being would be our baby, our child. It was now making contact
with us. It had decided to start with me."
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