Spiritual Versus Biological Paternity

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Daisy M. Bates, more than any other outsider, understood the Broome District Aborigines. This gentle English woman pitched her camp and lived a nomadic lifestyle with the Aborigines for nearly forty years.(3) Bates discovered something unusual about the Aborigines: paternity is the responsibility of the spirit-child rather than the father's sexual act. A man's dream determines his fatherhood rather than his sperm. So firm was the spirit-child paradigm among Broome District Aborigines that no man acknowledged paternity unless he had met the spirit-child in his sleeping hours. In one instance, a husband accepted a child born to his wife during their five-year separation, thereby ignoring the lapsed time between intercourse and birth.

An anthropologist found parallel beliefs among Tiwi Aborigines. Larry, as a case in point, accepted his wife's child as his own spiritual daughter upon returning after a two-year absence. Larry's daughter had appeared to him in a dream during the couple's separation. She touched him with a spear and asked, "Where is my mother?" Larry described how to find Dolly at Snake Bay.

One full moon night, upon Larry's return to his wife Dolly, he walked along the beach cradling his wife's infant in his arms. He was delighted with his wife and ecstatic about their newborn daughter, even though he was not the biological father. He sang to the baby about "the spirit land from which all people came and to which they return on death."

Bates cites further reports of men who denied paternity even if the couple had never been apart. In such cases, the men did not have a spirit-child dream, or dreamed of a daughter, but their wives birthed sons or vice versa. In these cases, the mother must locate the "real" father who had the spirit-child dream.

Lost Visions

Aborigines reported fewer pre-conception dreams once Western religion, rationalism, and science began to spread throughout Australia. A number of subtle factors contributed to population decline of Aborigines, as Dr. Andreas Lommel discovered.(4) As part of the Frobenius Expedition in 1938, Lommel studied modern culture's impact on Aborigines in the Kimberly Division of Northwestern Australia. The German ethnologist interviewed Ungarinyin, Worora, and Unambal Aborigines, including "civilized" Aborigines and those on the fringe of settlement, as well as the "untouched" who maintained their heritage.

To begin with, Aborigines who had been raised on missions and government stations knew little more about hunting kangaroos with spears or collecting edible roots than a typical white man. These stock boys, farm-hands, and laborers had adopted European dress and preserved only fragments of their native language. These assimilated men differed from their forefathers in another significant way. They were losing the ability to have "proper" spirit-child dreams. Birth rates were decreasing. As a result, despite excellent economic and sanitary conditions, only one-tenth of the two hundred members of the Worora in the Kunmunja Mission was under twenty, typical of a population in decline.

A missionary's advice, "Increase sexual contact with your wives," fell upon deaf ears. The Worora knew that conception depends upon a spirit-child's will to be born. The physical sex act was "more or less insignificant," even though the men had been educated about male sperm.

In Lommel's discussions with the Aborigines, the men offered one reason for fewer spirit-child dreams: "Sleep must not be too heavy." The dreamer must remain alert and sensitive, even as the body rests. When a man dreams like that, the spirit-child's name enters his heart; then, it "goes into his head" and the man becomes "fully conscious" of it. In essence, the Aborigines attributed proper dreams to a duality of consciousness event, an alert mind and resting body -- comparable to conscious dreams as defined by yogis who pursue a meditative life-style. The Aborigines began to accumulate modern stress once they left the tranquil, silent life of the bush where they had practiced sacred ceremonies and had time to contemplate and meditate.

Lommel spoke to Aborigines who hid in the back country away from white men. The lifestyle of the Unambal, as a prime case, remained unchanged. Kangaroos were abundant and economic conditions remained favorable. The government prohibited visiting adventurers, traders, and settlers from entering Unambal territory.

Nevertheless, the Unambal reported falling birth rates. And instead of spirit-child dreams, they encountered nightmares. Even though the Unambal had never seen a white man, they were irritated by the rumors and dreamed of "white men who looked pale like the spirits of the dead," devices flying overhead, and strange lighted steamboats that passed in the night. News of the approaching civilization upset their peace of mind. The Unambal no longer attained the psychological "disposition necessary for the physical act of generation." In a sense, the Aborigines were suffering from a kind of psychic shock. As Lommel put it, the spirit-child dream might well be indispensable for biological conception.

References

1. Ashley Montagu (1974) Coming Into Being Among the Australian Aborigines. London and Boston: Routledge & Kegan Paul, p.63.

2. James G. Cowan (1992) The Aborigine Tradition. Boston: Element Books (160 N. Washington, Boston, MA 02114.) p.25.

3. Daisy M. Bates (1940) Passing of the Aborigines: A lifetime spent among the natives of Australia. London: John Murray, p. 27.

4. Andreas Lommel (1951). Modern culture influences on the Aborigines. Oceania, 5, 21.

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Communicating with Your Unborn Child

Teresa Robertson, RN, CNM, MSN

Teresa's website is at Birth Intuitive



Column Editor's Note: It is my pleasure to introduce another pioneer in the field of pre-birth communication, Teresa Robertson, RN, CNM, MSN of Boulder, CO. Teresa has participated in about 1600 births and counsels with couples about conception and pregnancy. She teaches communication between parent and child, from before conception right through pregnancy to birth and babyhood. Christiane Northrup, author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, has said, "I consider Teresa's work the obstetrics of the future, which involve connecting with your baby before it is born and working in partnership with the baby's consciousness." Teresa's contact information is: In Health Teresa Robertson RN,CNM, MS Intuitive Counselor 3011 N. Broadway, Suite 23 Boulder, CO, 80304, USA. Websites: www.BirthIntuitive.com www.LivingIntuitiveResources.com Email: tann@indra.com

Miracles occur when a woman and/or her family connects with their unborn child. From preconception through pregnancy and labor and birth, Eli and his parents created many miracles.

I first met Eli when his mom Suzanne came to work with me after experiencing two devastating first trimester miscarriages over a six month time period. These miscarriages made no sense to her because she could strongly feel the presence of a baby (Eli) wanting to be born, yet she kept miscarrying. During this first session, Suzanne was led through a visualization scan of her ovaries, tubes and uterus. In the midst of this exercise she discovered an unresolved issue occupying one of her ovaries. With Eli's assistance, she released this issue and began to heal and to reclaim her ovary and her reproductive creative power.

Once again Suzanne easily conceived. When she was twenty weeks pregnant, she and her husband Steve felt that an ultrasound would help them to trust that everything was really going well with this pregnancy. When they both checked in and communicated this with Eli, he wasn't happy about the idea. "Can't you trust that I am perfect and okay?" he asked. Finally Suzanne and Steve negotiated a compromise with Eli. Their agreement included an exercise to ground and to place protection around Eli before the ultrasound would begin. "We got to the ultrasound appointment early so that we could do our grounding exercise. Before we could do this, however, we were ushered into the ultrasound room and the technician started the scan. Eli was so active that after fifteen minutes of this, the tech said we might need to come back. At that point Steve remembered that we hadn't done the exercise we had promised Eli. He whispered this insight into my ear and reminded me to ground my body. The moment I grounded my body, Eli quieted down and the tech was then able to take his pictures for the radiologist."

Although Eli's story is dramatic, it is not unusual. Suzanne and Steve possess the same gifts and abilities as any other parent. What is special about their story, however, is that they had access to someone who could provide support, guidance and tools to facilitate their ability to communicate with their unborn son.

Communicating with our unborn children is everyone's birthright and easily within our capability. Just as we are born with the organs which enable us to touch, feel, talk, listen, see and hear, we are also born with the ability to perceive, intuit, and to see what is unseen.

We are all born with a pineal gland, the physical structure which corresponds to intuition and clairvoyance- clear seeing and knowing. This gland, which is located behind our third eye area, serves as a bridge between our outside world and our inner knowing. It easily becomes stimulated by light or meditation, and releases important hormones which are responsible for brain and body growth and development, and very importantly, the hormones which govern fertility, pregnancy and birth (Speroff, L; Glass, R and Kase, N.

(1989) Clinical Gynecologic Endocrinology and Fertility Baltimore: Williams and Wilkens).

Over the past four years I have assisted and witnessed numerous women and their families connecting with their unborn children for the following reasons: to promote fertility and conception, to forge a connection in preparation for an adoption, to resolve a pregnancy loss including miscarriage, abortion, or the death of a baby, to increase bonding and connection during pregnancy, labor and birth, and to learn how to cooperatively communicate with their baby before he/she can physically speak. My goal and role in these sessions is to promote communication that is cooperative, empowering, loving, playful, and healing.

Included below is a simple exercise to assist you with connecting to the spirit of your unborn child. As you proceed with this exercise be aware that each of us receives intuitive information differently. Be open to what you are feeling, knowing, hearing, and seeing as you play with this exercise. Also remember, the more you employ this exercise the richer your experience will become.

Establishing the Connection

1. Take a deep breath as you ground your body. To ground, make an imaginary connection between the base of your spine as wide as your hips to the center of the earth. You may wish to put an X on your spine and an X at the center of the earth and connect them with an imaginary tree trunk, a waterfall, an anchor, or with any other imagery which you create.

2. Imagine an empty bubble outside of your body. It might be in front of your face, or in front of your heart. Ground this bubble (connect it to the center of the earth with its own grounding cord).

3. Now invite the spirit of your unborn child to fill this bubble. To facilitate this connection some parents will connect a tube or telescope from themselves to this bubble. For example a tube which leads from the baby's grounded bubble to their own heart.

4. Be aware of what you notice, see, feel, hear or know about this bubble.

Beginning a Conversation

Now that you have grounded your body and set up your method of communication with your baby, you can begin your first conversation with your baby.

1. From the top of your crown chakra ( on the top of your head) create a gold ring which encapsulates a "hello-I see you." Send that gold ring "hello" over to your unborn baby's bubble. Notice what your baby's reaction is to this hello. What happens to its bubble? Do the colors and/or images around your baby change? Does your body feel different?

2. Now ask your baby if he/she has anything to tell you. Again be aware of your body.

3. To close your conversation send a good-bye (in the same way you sent the hello) over to the baby's bubble.

Journaling or art supplies can serve as concrete tools to integrate this experience for yourself. Remember, when you set the focus of your communicating with your unborn child in play and joy, you will receive much more information.

Enjoy!

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Childhood Meetings

Elisabeth Hallett

See Elisabeth's site and books at Light Hearts


Elisabeth Hallett Books - {short description of image}- Elisabeth Hallett Books






In these columns, we go out on a limb to catch a glimpse of patterns that can't be seen from safer ground. The "limb" on which our explorations depend is the premise of pre-existence-that we exist in some form before conception. With that premise, we're free to consider the implications of parents' pre-birth communication experiences and the revealing comments of young children. As we shall see, it is exciting when the evidence from these two sources overlaps.

The stories in this installment suggest one of the most intriguing patterns of possible connection between parent and child. Imagine the situation: In childhood, you encounter your own future son or daughter as a companion who visits your dreams and reveries or flashes across your mind's eye at odd moments.

Margaret writes, "I knew and played with my three sons (two yet to be born) when I was still a child. I had many recurring dreams, around age seven, of riding bikes with three boys who were my sons, even though they were about my age or older. Always the oldest was the most clear to me, and the other two didn't connect quite as strongly, though they were all firmly present. I always thought the oldest was cute. He was also really nice, smart, thoughtful, and took his responsibilities seriously, looking after his brothers and guiding our play. But he was still fun." Margaret clearly identifies her childhood dream playmate with her firstborn son. The next story is more complex and raises the question of how such an identification is made. Donna recalls: "Right around the time I reached menarche, I became aware of a loving, guiding female presence. I think I always knew she would be with me as my daughter. I don't remember analyzing much, only accepting. I decided then that my first child would be a girl and her name would be Kirsten. Later I decided wedlock was a horrible idea and I'd never bind myself thus, nor would I ever bear a child. Still Kirsten was with me. Certain places, certain people would bring her to mind. A blond girl would appear, spontaneously, in my mind's eye. As I approached my twenties, I began to 'see' her as a four-year-old. I could 'see' or be aware of the little girl in my peripheral vision-and only as long as I didn't look.

"A few more years and the desire to have babies struck. Suddenly marriage seemed tolerable. My first child was a girl, and I named her Kirsten. Once we were home and settled in and starting to learn each other, I realized that this little person wasn't Kirsten. After a bout with colic we fell in love and still are."

Donna bore three more children, all boys, and felt that her family was complete. She thought her youngest son might be the embodiment of the female presence she had sensed for so long. However, she continues, "As the kids grew, I started having the emotional freedom to start meditating again. When I relaxed, I began noticing a glowing white disc with a lavender rim. It was always waiting. Then I read "Models of Love" and was overwhelmed at one point by the beauty of childbearing. As I was glorying, I saw a pillar of light next to me, and I knew I would have another child." Finally, Donna conceived her last child. "In a meditation the glowing white disc featured a purple fetus. I knew I was pregnant. I knew it was my girl." Cicely was born eleven years to the day after Kirsten. "Cicely has always been with me," says Donna. "This being is her."

We may ask, "How do you know?" But the answer is a mystery. The sense of recognition, which may be completely convincing to the one experiencing it, is really not open to objective validation. Linda, an English mother, identifies her firstborn daughter as the girl she met in a vivid dream years earlier. As she says, "There has never been any doubt in my mind that it was her-I knew it the moment she was born."

There is a hidden aspect to these stories which may be coincidental, or it may point to a deeper meaning behind these experiences. Linda was eighteen-nearly grown up-when she dreamed of her future daughter. She says, "I knew that this girl was my daughter... I remember feeling so happy that she had shown herself to me, especially as I had quite a hard time growing up and it was like a little message of hope and happiness for me to help me along when I needed it. I wasn't planning on kids at the time as I was preparing for University and travel. I also didn't feel any urgency with the dream-she wasn't saying, 'Have me now.' She was just saying, 'Hello-this is what you have to look forward to!'"

Like Linda, each of the young girls in this survey was coping with difficult situations around the time of her initial experience-from simple loneliness to sexual abuse. Donna moved at thirteen to a place she hated, and recalls that she "retreated into herself" for years. Margaret, who dreamed of bike riding with her three sons, says, "I think they felt bad for me because I didn't have many friends, and I had been recently assaulted by a distant family member. The nice innocent fun we had riding our bikes, plus the slightly protective feeling I got from the eldest boy, helped me get through that time."

With these circumstances in mind it would be easy to say, Aha!--these girls created imaginary friends to help cope with their stressful situations. But it seems equally possible that here is a special grace and kindness in life' s patterns, whereby an unhappy child can be comforted and companioned by her own future children. After all, they would have an interest in the welfare of their intended mother.

What of the enigmatic memories that little children express, usually between the ages of three and seven? Do they ever provide evidence for these early connections? Brent was six years old when he began relating what seemed to be memories of a previous lifetime with an abusive father, ending in an early death. Among other details, he told his mother that he had chosen her. She took advantage of a moment when Brent was quietly absorbed in play to seek more information.

"I asked him why he chose me. He told me very matter-of-factly that he knew he couldn't stand to live like that with that other dad any more, and his mother had somehow disappeared, and so he looked for another mom. And he saw me, but when I was a little girl. Then he came back to me when I was an adult and chose to be born to me because he liked me. He answered promptly, without thinking about any of this for a second! As I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a big kiss on the cheek and looked into his blue eyes, I told him, Brent, I am so glad that you chose me. I love being your mom and you don't have to worry ever, because I will keep you safe and love you forever. He smiled and withdrew to get on with his playing with his army tank!"

The final story is a rare treasure because it includes evidence from both sources: a mother's childhood experience and her child's mysterious remark. From Australia, Jenny writes: "When I was 10 years old I did a drawing of how I would like to look if I was beautiful. It turned out great, which was weird because I was just past stick figures. My eleven-year-old sister instantly grabbed it and criticized it. "The eyes are too slanted, cheekbones too high, jaw too square for this kind of face," she said. She then changed it, saying she just wanted to fix it for me. I was really upset and took the drawing away to make it right. I couldn't start again because I couldn't really draw. To me it was a miracle. The drawing seemed to take on a life of its own. I began talking to the girl in the picture. She was the classic 'invisible friend.' I could really sense her there and occasionally I thought I heard her answer.

"Then when I was fourteen our family went to see 'South Pacific' at the movies. When the girl called Liat on Bali Hai came on, I thought, 'Wow, she looks a lot like my 'invisible girl.' On the way home, I was thinking 'I wonder why she looks like her. Maybe I should call her Liat.' Then I heard her respond! 'Because I'm part Islander and my name is Lee but you can call me Liat.' She was yelling in my ear and I looked around to see if anyone else could hear. Naturally they couldn't.

"I guess I had always been kind of weird compared with other people. My Scottish Nanna said I was fey. This time I thought, I'm really crazy now. My invisible friend refused to go away so I asked her who she was. She said she was my daughter. That was a stunner. I asked her when she would be born. 'When you're thirty-six.' 'Don't I have any choice?' 'You have already chosen,' she said.

"Liat hung around for years. We continued to talk and argue, discussing all kinds of metaphysical things. Sometimes she didn't know much more than I did. Other times she amazed me with her knowledge. Occasionally I would get images of her at different times in her life. She was really beautiful."

By the time Jenny was nearly thirty-six, she was twice married and divorced and had four sons. Now Liat started communicating about being born soon. "I banished her," says Jenny, "but she came back and sat in the background not saying much." Jenny soon found herself involved in a love affair and despite precautions she became pregnant. "I told Colin all about our future daughter and described her. He brought me a photo of one of his sisters. She looked uncannily like Liat. When I explained about the island girl, he said 'Yes, that's the Samoan in her.' He just accepted everything. When she was born, Colin named our little girl Amy-Lee. I hadn't told him the name I had used all those years.

"When Amy turned three she said, 'Mummy, I used to know you when you were a little girl, didn't I.' It was a statement. She is six now and beautiful. Who knows what the future holds for her-she is already extraordinary and much loved by many people."

Editor's Note:

Special thanks to Jenny Strong for permission to reprint part of her story. Her full account can be read online at MuseNet.

Interesting Links to Pregnancy and Parenting

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Babyzone - Lots of intersting features such as baby names, nutrition, learning difficulties, breastfeeding, etc.

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