Christine - Gosh, your dream points out so many hidden features that we usually discount when looking at our dreams.
In the first place you are alone in your dreams, for there is nobody but you creating the actions. You can't even think that the man and woman are people you know. If you can imagine the scene; you have closed your eyes and slowly you lose awareness of your other senses and descend into darkness. But now – in the darkness a light glimmers. Gradually it takes shape. The shape of a person is suggested. In the time that follows he or she evolves form, moves, and you have full sensory experience. You are totally involved, with all your emotions and sexual responses. Changes occur and you love, fight, fear, murder or bring to life again the person, who can become an animal, a devil, God or a bodiless voice lost in a sombre countryside. Your experiences are totally real, and you move through heaven and hell, despair and joy, darkness and light. Scenes from your past can be revisited – or totally new experiences can be felt so clearly, you are enriched. That is a dream.
If you had been in such an experience, and on coming out of the total involvement of these moving experiences, you were told you had created it all yourself – that on the black screen you had, out of your fears, habits, secret longings and passion; out of your immense store of memories; with your unbelievable range of feelings and creativity – you had given form to urges and processes in your body and made this rich world of experience, what would you feel? Would you disclaim responsibility? Would you consider it meaningless? Would you realise what amazing creativity and potential you have?
But the important questions regarding this dream are - Why are you creating this woman out of all your memories and associations and why and ice cream? And what is so important for you to watch her face? In fact why did you need another being out of yourself and then watch her?
Then you create a man and a woman in a hotel room. What was important enough for you to create a situation apparently outside yourself that was an obvious depiction of intimacy - in a way that gave you the feeling of only being an observer rather that the creator and experiencer?
Then you switch from the view of an observer to a participant with bare breasts. You create a scene in which a grabs your breasts - sounds a bit rough. Why did you need to do this to yourself? And what did you feel about it?
We have to break here because from your viewpoint you might say that you wouldn't and couldn't create such a scene. Okay, but many of the characters or elements of our dreams act quite contrary to what we consciously wish. This is why we often find it so difficult to believe all aspects of a dream are part of our own psyche. Some drives or areas of self act or express despite what we would want. These are named autonomous complexes. Recent research into brain activity shows that in fact the brain has different layers or strata of activity. These strata often act independently of each other or of conscious will. Sensing them, as one might in a dream, might feel like meeting an opposing will or being possessed by an alien force. Integration with these aspects of self can of course be gained. See
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/autonomous-complex/But even so it is worth asking the question given above, for they question the resistance that make our autonomous complexes remain unconscious.
From the point of view of the dream, you slowly move from the view of seeing intimacy as an outside action, to seeing and feeling it as a personal and perhaps rough experience.
"Why do you want me?" Why does any man want a woman - in the thousand and one ways men want women? And even from the point of view of your own male self - of course he wants to find wholeness at whatever cost.
Tony