Emily – What a fascinating dream!
I feel your dream is portraying something special about how you relate to yourself. Sometimes the monkey is described as being thoughtless mischief maker, but I see something else in your dream. It is that ‘something else’ that has caused you to feel such strong feelings of dread and guilt. In fact there is a lot of love linking you with it and it to you. And I think it could bring tears if you recognise what part of you it is.
That you forgot the monkey shows a struggle between you and the small creature that was willing to keep up with you. It is, I believe, an ancient struggle that few people are aware of. It is the struggle that goes on in each of us between our animal self and our cultured, educated and often tortured mind. Yet it is not a war, but a simple request to be recognised, respected and given a place in your life.
It is a dramatic struggle involved in becoming a conscious and mature person. The struggle is in gradually emerging from the impulsive animal tendencies such as we see in social hierarchy, religious and political groups, one nation fighting another. So the monkey can depict your primal animal self that existed prior to developing self awareness. It can indicate the sexual and feeling conditions underlying your present socialised personality.
But the monkey is also very wise with an instinctive wisdom millions of years old. If you can meet it and help it arise out of its instinctive responses, it gives you wisdom in exchange for the love it gives you. After all, what is human life but a gradual emergence from the processes of life, and often a complete denial of our ancient heritage?
This example gives a view of this:
From there I began to see human caring. It was as if I felt myself to be one of a group of monkeys. Within the group life was lived out of ones inner simplicity. But certain aged monkeys could attain a different level of awareness. They were called the White Haired Ones. I could become a White Headed One, but I would have to die in the sense of relinquishing my personal desires, fears and goals. Was I willing to do this? It had elements of risk. It might mean the end of life as I now lived it. But I had to take the risk. I was willing to die.
I became a White Hair. I saw from the vision of the White Haired. It was so simple, so organic and life-filled. I am only a finger of life, only a tiny part of the organic, living, whole. I am only one member of a large group. Life, through its living organism, cares. In the group of monkeys, if the mother dies, a sister or brother cares for the baby. Each individual is only one cell in the whole body. If that person goes away or dies, life, in the form of another person, cares for the children, or fills the needs of the adult.
My concern is not simply for my own children, any child is the children of all of us. It is only our bodies that were their doorways, but they are the children of Life. As a White Head, I must concern myself not just for the care of my own children, but any that may be near me. That is the simple wisdom of Monkey.
Tony