Unexpected violence

[Catelyn]

Hi,

I just had the most awkward and also scary dream last night. I remember that when I woke up, I really had a surreal feeling..and I Felt scared, because the dream had been as if warning!

Anyway, I dreamed that I was walking back and forth somewhere and that I was around half a floor higher than my ex boyfriend. At first, in my dream I was just walking back and forth slowly and I didn't really look around. But then, I looked down and saw my ex boyfriend a bit underneath and.. he was alone in another room but..there were like pillars or something between us, so at times when I was walking I could see him, and then the posts would come and I wouldn't see him anymore. Anyway, I remember when I first noticed him I felt this unpleasant feeling and looked at him with contempt. But then I kept walking, I mean I had not wanted to meet him in that place and for me it was an unpleasant surprise to see him there. And then I just turned my head away and kept walking back and forth. And time went by, I just happened to look in his direction, and he was there, and 3 men were beating him.. and I was shocked to see that but I mean I just wanted not to look in that direction anymore..

And he was like..I don't know, he was unhappy or..he didn't resist..anyway, he was not resisting..something was not ok with him!

And then I again, was walking and didn't wanna look in his direction... till I heard screams..his screams..and then I somehow changed, I had this Feeling in me, I had this Compassion in me, it's like i  Completely changed.. I didn't want him to be in pain..
And when I looked at him, the 3 men were gone, and someone was sewing his eyebrow - his eyebrow had been hurt in the fight. And didn't want him to suffer, I didn't want that other person cause him pain..

And when I woke up, I was so scared because the dream was as if a warning..

In that dream, I had not wanted him to be beaten up so the whole thing really scared me!

And the background to the story.. well me and my ex-boyfriend we had a really bad break-up, he had hurt me a lot..

But I have NEVER seen such a dream about one of my ex-boyfriends..where they are suffering like that..

I would really appreciate, if you could give your perspective on it!

And I have pretty much never seen violent scenes in my dreams  before..

[Tony Crisp]

Catelyn - There is nobody there except you, your imagination and your fears, your hopes and even, at times, wisdom. When my children were young at one period, all three of them were sleeping in the same bedroom. One night my eldest son started telling scary stories to frighten the younger ones. But the two younger ones fell asleep but the eldest son couldn’t sleep because he had frightened himself with the stories. Like my son, you can tell yourself scary stories and frightened yourself.

Every dream image, animal or person is a subtle or powerful aspect of your own efficient working; the unconscious processes of Life that keeps your heart beating and keeps you alive. A dream is nothing like outer life where things could hurt you, but is an image like on a cinema screen that even if a gun is pointed at you and fired it can do no damage - except if you run in fear.

If we take parts of what you describe you will, I hope, see how you created this dream - well me and my ex-boyfriend we had a really bad break-up, he had hurt me a lot - something between us - unpleasant feeling and looked at him with contempt - it was an unpleasant surprise to see him - and 3 men were beating him. And I was shocked to see that but I mean I just wanted not to look in that direction anymore - ... till I heard screams, his screams, and then I somehow changed, I had this Feeling in me, I had this Compassion in me, it's like I  Completely changed.. I didn't want him to be in pain.

Remember Catelyn that you are the only one alone with yourself who created this dream. Your feelings of hurt led you to want to hurt him back - but you did not really want to see that and admit it - "I just turned my head away and didn't want to look in his direction."

So the dream was a mirror in which you could actually have a view of what was going on in you inner world unconsciously, and when you realised it you experiences compassion and completely changed, so you created another scene in which he is healed.

Also you cannot get rid of someone even if they have hurt you. You cannot as so often is said forget the past and move on. It doesn’t work like that. Most people are often totally unaware of the experience they take in and how it interacts with them when we love or live with someone. In other words the memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. So in your dream you were meeting memories of what you felt and learnt in the relationship, and your dream was integrating what you experienced and changing you.

Tony

See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions-2/#Explains