hey there, 23 years old male from turkey here.
let me start by giving some background info first. the girl i dreamt about, lets call her BY, was my high school crush, who i didn't see for 5 years except one time she was driving. she was my best friend's, let's call him RI, girlfriend, we were 15-16 back then. i was a late developer and looked childish in those ages, that was the reason i reached back then about she was into my RI, rather than me. Their relationship took 2 years and we were 3 best friends, always hanging together or in couples. I was feeling miserable but still kind of eager to sustain this situation. then they broke up, because RI has cheated on her, and i even stood up for him. I kept my relationship with both of them, seperately, but closer than ever. After a few months, puberty hit and I suddenly grew big and really attractive. When I gained my confidence, I told RI about my feelings about BY and asked for his consent. He tried to look cool with it and even encouraged me, but I felt he wasnt really cool with it, but didnt mind. I even got closer with her, started showing my hand about my feelings. She seemed delighted but didnt give me a solid answer. So I kept digging. She was happy to see I was struggling to get her. This situation kept going for more than 1 year, sometimes happy and intimate, sometimes frusturated and disappointed. But she never let me touch her, that was the reason I was frusturated about. That summer, when we were all 18s, a douchebag from her class was telling a story about 'how he tricked BY into sex with some weed and how loud she was screaming' to almost everyone in the school. When I first heard that I was mad but mature enough to realize it was a really hard situation for her. I never talked to her about it, acted like I wasn't aware, trying to avoid her to feel ashamed when with me. But deep down, I was really frusturated that she never let me touch her but having fun with guys I despised. When the term started, we were closer than ever wity BY. After 2 months, I learnt that she had a boyfriend that never told me about. I decided that I had to stay away from her because she was obviously playing with me, taking adventage of my feelings. But it was our senior year and we were in the same art class. Which meant there was pleanty of time to spend time smoking in the backyard. After me finding about her relationship, I managed to stay away from her for like a few months. During the last months of senior year, me and RI rented an apartment. When RI wasn't home I invited BY to our place, to make peace. She came and we got really drunk. I was playing RI's guitar and wearing his pants, looking for chords from his laptop. Then he called and said he was coming home. I told him I was with BY, is he okay with that. He said okay and even brought more wine. when he came, went directly to his room and left us alone. We started watching movie, I was pretty wasted and decided to fall asleep since I was almost certain she would to something to frustrate me if I made a move on her. She started cuddling my head, so I couldn't resist, kissed her. she, of course, told me to stop. I turned my back and slept. in morning, she was gone. RI came in and asked me about last night and 'did I score?'. I said yes, which I am seeing it as a simple high-school-kid lie, but it was more than that, i really regret now. I lied because they never spoke to each other for years, it was imposible for her to know. I just couldn't say no and feel crushed under her again. because he was her ex, i perceived him as successful. But I was the one who always fails on her, so I lied. She found about it and never talked to me again.
Now, I'm in a 5 yearls-long relationship, it's an intense and fluctuant relationship, we both cheated on each other, broke up, got back together and for 4 months, we're really happy. but not having sex for 3 months due to her physical injury.
I knew where BY lived because he was in the same building with another friend of mine. I heard that she was facing depression for 4 years. went to rehabilition for drugs, never leaves her apartment. Lately, she fell asleep while driving and got injured. I even heard that when her frineds went to see her, her place was covered with menstrual blood. So, she's suffering mental issues and I feel really sorry for her.
After this long and boring background, let me tell my dream about her
this dream was not a story line, it was more like seperate images. we were at her place (as I always tried to see through her window everytime i go to that friend's place). she was wearing a t-shirt, she wore 6-7 years ago when we were all on a vacation. She wore that t-shirt braless since her bikiny top was wet and I remember feeling really attracted and horny. She wore the same t-shirt, but having larger breasts and nipples. her hair was the same as in my favorite photo of her, looking really freshed, happy and innocent. Then we were on bed, I was spooning her. feeling and groping her large breasts and hard nipples, she moans. then i remember her standing, holding my penis as it is a gun. I look at my penis at her hand, really carefully. my penis head is got over her palm. I'm thinking if she got one bigger than this. then confronting myself as my penis' head looked really nice. finally, she acts like if she is shooting me with my penis.
When I woke up,I couldn't get over it for like 4-5 hours and felt really optimistic about writing to her and try to help her. maybe let her fall in love with me as i perceive her as weak now. I feel like I can really do that and I would cheat on my current girlfrined, whom I love really much and even think about marriage, for her, I would definetely go for that.
It was really long but I wanted to describe it as good as possible, since it was the most intense and felt-like-real dream in my life.
Thank you
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