My dad gives me capsules of poison called "sodium perchloride", in case I need to take the "easy" way out, which I decide not to take. But, later, because of bad circumstances, I give it to my dog, Momi. First his eyes turn neon orange, and I become terrified of what I've done to him, then his teeth all fall out and it seems some bones come out, too. I am mortified, babbling that I love him and am sorry and would never want to hurt him. It's like a horror show or haunted house kind of fear. But, then I begin to realize he isn't going to die, and I wonder what I've done and how to fix it. I wake up, still scared, but realizing it was only a dream.
Possible related facts: I caregave for my dad when he was terminally ill and hurt my back catching his fall, rendering me disabled and in constant pain, which has lead, years later, to my having nearly exhausted my savings (denied disability, etc.). I have been wondering what to do about my beloved dogs, in case I can't find a way to survive. My conscience is clear; I have always been a hard worker and really am disabled and really have tried everything I can think of or afford to get out of this mess. Sept 1 was my deadline to begin trying to find them a good home, via the internet, but I am still trying to dig up the courage to face it. If I can't, I am wondering if I will have to have them put down. The dog in the dream, Mo, is very sensitive and, about 3 yrs ago, when I told him I might eventually have to give them away to new parents, he began to cry out loud and with real tears, only calming down after a neighbor held him for about 20 minutes and reassured him that I had taken it back. All of my dogs are either elderly or disabled and I feel the same sort of horror in real life as the dream presented, when considering the options. I had a friend once who was good at deciphering dream puns, so I looked up "sodium perchloride". There isn't any such thing, but then I thought maybe it was the dream's way of getting around my thinking of table salt, when salt was the real meaning of the dream....as it has a 1:1 ratio of sodium to chloride (one sodium PER each chloride atom).