Coza – First of all I would like to thank Deepa for being such an active and helpful part of the forum.
It seems from your dream you still have a lot of conflict and indecision about your homosexual feelings. The argument is between the part of you that does not want to be known publically for the feelings you have for men, and the tremendous urge to be known, shown as anger.
Then there is the mother image blocking the door. The door is a female symbol – the vagina – and the mother blocking it can suggest that your urges toward the female have been blocked and so you have taken over identification with the woman.
There are so many reasons for you feeling homosexual urges, especially at the age you are. I went through phase myself with a friend of mine that was caused by a deep fear I had of sex. But there was a deeper issue that I feel is active in many young men – the fact that the father never gave any love to the son, or any signs of encouragement. You wouldn’t believe that this left so much pain in us that it can redirect our normal sexual flow. The reason that it goes undetected in many men is that it is difficult to face that much pain. Talking therapy does not touch that degree of pain. But sometimes there is the fact that the mother is the one we identify with so take on the female role. Also it is difficult for many men to face the full flow of a woman’s needs; and I am not talking about sexual needs. So many young men find it easier too relate to a male.
There is often a swing of hormones in puberty too, causing swelling and painful nipples –n of course other reasons too. So take your time deciding what you want to be. Painful and difficult emotions can underlie many peoples chosen direction in life.
But see if you can feel the underlying reason for the conflict and anger. Maybe it would helpful to use
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-in-your-dream/Tony