Topics

16

Dream Interpretation / Expansion of Consciousness

« on: January 16, 2012, 10:05:18 PM »

This is more for sharing than interpretation...

It's a fragment of a dream from a few weeks ago.

I was lucid, and walking through a house, and had the idea to look for a door to open.

I turned and saw a huge golden door, it had a sheen as if it was made of solid gold (shimmering, not shiny). 
Characters were imprinted on it in columns from top to bottom that made me think "heiroglyphics".
I paused before the door, and said, "By opening this door I am expanding my consciousness!" then push the door open.  It swings open away from me, and behind it is another door, hinged on the opposite side and also seemingly made of gold with characters on it.  I repeat the process..."by opening this door I am expanding my consciousness!"

I see behind that door is a dark stone corridor, ancient.  I knew that there were a million more doors behind this one and that I could go on forever, but for now this was enough.  I step back, satisfied.  I then see another set of doors, more ordinary, double-closet doors.  Again, I stand before the doors and say, “by opening these doors I am expanding my consciousness!”, then open the doors.  I see a light inside, and some ordinary items like sports equipment.  (End of scene)

For several years I experimented and was quite involved with the psychedelic scene, in the name of “consciousness expansion”.  Since this dream I experienced the realization that simply asking questions and being honest about what I’m feeling or thinking  is ‘raising’ or ‘expanding’ consciousness.  Many many times in the past few weeks I have asked questions that in the past, I would not have dared ask.  Even simple questions…and every time I would ask the question, I would feel lighter, as if I had unconsciously  been stewing in my own circular thoughts -  this feels like illumination or enlightenment. 

I truly believe that opening the doors in my dream has opened my mind even more than before.  It’s hard to say whether it was the catalyst, because no action really stands alone and I believe we are all programmed to rise or expand in consciousness, but it was certainly an interesting experience!

17

General Discussion / A birth story you might enjoy

« on: December 20, 2011, 03:32:01 AM »

I have followed this couple's blog off and on for a few years, and was surprised to learn they recently had a baby.
The love and care that went into their experience was so touching and moving, I love seeing what is possible in birth!  I have been thinking about the images of their baby all day, she is so languid, so relaxed.  The father speaks in quiet tones, there is so much gentleness and tenderness I see, I almost felt rebirthed just watching.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxjVKgShyzM

18

Questions about dreams / Dream Theater safety

« on: December 05, 2011, 02:57:42 PM »

More of…what have I gotten myself into??? !!!

Saturday I played “dream theater” with 2 other women.  One I’ve played with before, and also done several dream shares with.  The 3rd woman was new (sort of…I vaguely remembered taking dance classes with her many years ago).

This was my dream:  I am leaving a store, and realizing that, once again, I left my purse and other valuables in the front seat.  (I have done this twice in waking life this past year, once my purse was stolen).  I am wondering why I did this to myself AGAIN, and I notice that my purse has been rifled through, but it and my other valuables are still in the car.  As I go through my wallet, I sense a setup.  “They” left my stuff in the car on purpose.  I turn and a young woman with two companions approaches me.  She is carrying a black pistol.  I freeze, and feel the fear intensely.  I black out, feel like I’ve been hit by a car, and wake up in an ambulance.  I cry softly, once, “they hurt me”, and feel something release.  The EMT’s on either side of me caution me to be still and not breathe too deeply, I’ve been seriously hurt – I feel my broken ribs on the left side and understand they don’t want me to puncture my lungs.  I take tiny sips of air, as I realize there is no pain I begin to become aware that I am dreaming.  I take deeper and deeper breaths, and a smile spreads across my face as I know I am dreaming now, and awaken.

So.  To get out of character (and honor my “shiva” dream), I played the woman with the gun.  My friend played one of the companions.  She was having a great time, getting into it, very comfortable with “teenage troublemaker” energy. 

I was *very* uncomfortable.  I started to play out what was going through my mind…”You are weak, you bitch, you are so stupid, so spacey, I oughta kick you, you make me sick.”  I could only barely touch the feelings beneath it.  I noticed that I now had my back turned to the other two women, and I described to them the shame I was feeling…I couldn’t face them, I didn’t want them to see me this way.  I *know* the role of the perpetrator, and said, “I can play this role all day long…as long as I am alone, with someone I know I can abuse.  I don’t want you to see me this way, I don’t want to be this way in front of kind faces, I don’t want to scare you. “  I also felt very exposed, not only showing how I have treated others, but how I can treat myself in my own mind and also how my parents spoke to me as a child.

I knew I was experiencing shame, but I just couldn’t be present with it.  I allowed it to a point, and decided instead of diving in I needed to be very gentle with it and not force it.  The other women were feeling it, too.  I was nervously talking, and aware I was being neurotic to avoid the feeling, one of the other women jumped in with her own story, in a attempt to ‘help’ me feel better.  She shared how she bit her brother once, and I shared that I once pulled a knife on my sister.  The 3rd woman seemed shocked (she is a psychotherapist, so it didn’t occur to me that this would be shocking to her, otherwise I might have been more sensitive).


I’m not a trained professional, I’m not even very mature, I’m just someone interested in dreams.  I question whether I even have any business delving into this stuff with others…do you have any suggestions for how I could have handled it better?  Or for how I can created a safer container for this kind of play?

19

Dream Interpretation / Shark and Shiva

« on: November 29, 2011, 02:23:58 PM »

I’m wondering what I’ve gotten myself into here…

This is the 2nd dream I’ve had recently that seems to be a whole other reality, it reminds me of The Matrix and almost as if that other reality is more “real” and what’s really happening and this human aspect is a projection of it.

The dream was not clear, yet the feelings and impressions were strong.

I become aware I am dreaming, and I feel like I am in a primordial, oceanic state, there is a sense of “me”, I don’t seem to have a human body or clear boundaries.

I feel pressed in on all sides, by beings who are feeding on me, especially behind me.  A sense of beings attached to my back.  I feel helpless, I can struggle, just a bit, but I mostly am a feeling state.
Fighting these beings off seems useless. I remember a protector who appeared in a recent dream.
In my mind, I clamor “I INVOKE AND CALL ON SHARK!!”  

I feel the great white shark move through me, and her energy surround me.  The beings around me scream and scatter.  She alone isn’t strong enough to overcome whatever this force is that is feeding off of me and wants to keep me trapped, but she has bought me  a bit of time and a little freedom, and I move quickly forward.
I seem to be in a “commons” area, (in my dream I’m thinking “mall”).  The building is a square within a square, and I am walking in the corridor between the walls of the inner and outer walls (oohh…holy goodness…it took me a while to describe that and now it’s coming clearer – walking in the corridor between the walls of the inner and outer walls….).

I feel sharp points of pain all along my left side, especially lower left buttock, as if someone threw a net of small taser darts over me.  I move back and forth between welcoming the sensation and trying to pull out the darts.  I can’t pull them out, they aren’t really physical nor am I..frustrating!

I continue to move along, around the square.  I see a few Asian women ahead, and I knock some things over that they scramble to pick up, I notice the twinge of guilt.  I deliberately knock a couple of women and children over – though I don’t really seem to be lucid, I do know I am dreaming, and it somehow seems important to act out of character – it’s not something I would do in waking life.

I’m still feeling as though something is after me, chasing me, wanting to hold me back and keep me trapped.  In my mind, I call, “SHIVA!” and I suddenly experience myself and surroundings as a vortex of spiraling, colored light.  I march forward, determinedly singing, “shiva shiva shiva shambho, shiva shiva shiva shambho”.  Something isn’t quite right, though, I feel like I’m pleading, and still losing ground.

I come upon a familiar scene (I don’t remember what, maybe the Asian women again) and realize I have come full circle (only, I went in a square, not a circle).

At one point in the dream, I had a distinct impression of being held captive in an artifical embryonic tank, like in the movie Avatar.  Also thoughts of "me" being an experimental hybrid, meant to try to bring together the best qualities of a human and another species.

These kinds of dreams really inspire me to ponder..what is "real"?  What is "me"?  What the heck is going on here??
And then after a night of multdimensional being, I get up and have some berries and go to work and love a plain old admin job in a dirty oil refinery    Chop wood, carry water.

20

General Discussion / Hate

« on: November 22, 2011, 03:54:12 PM »

As I ran berated and raged against my "ex" in my mind for the hundred millionth time, I became more intensely curious than usual about this experience.

Clearly, he is not the problem.  He lives 2500 miles away, and I don't speak with him anymore.  Yet, here an image is of him, in my mind, once again, and I'm running through the scenarios again and again of "you did/didn't _______"  blah blah blah and in my mind I end up beating him up with a baseball bat and kicking him.  Recently I spontaneously playacted being a tiger, and I imagined tearing him apart and eating him up.

In inquiring, I began to wonder, what IS hate, really?  What is the payoff?  What do I get out of it?  What is it doing for me?  I don't WANT to forgive him, I want to HURT him.  I want to make him SEE what he did, make him see what I see, see it MY way.

I couldn't even really find anything illuminating on the internet about hatred, it's purpose, what it actually "is".
So far, I have theorized that I don't want to forgive, because I believe I must before I can move on to a new relationship and it's a way to keep me from putting myself out there again for my heart to be broken.

Another theory is, it serves to counteract a feeling of powerlessness by inducing a boost of feeling powerful.  It's my experience that feeling helpless and powerless is nearly intolerable, and the mind is SO quick to conjure a defense!

I have a lot of time on my hands today to go deeper into inquiry...any thoughts?

21

General Discussion / Following my dreams

« on: November 14, 2011, 05:16:29 PM »

 Last month, I dreamed of a single image, a hot pink lighted sign with the word “BIONEERS” typed on it.
I had heard of them, but didn’t know much about it.  A quick internet search led me to a local conference being held soon.  I couldn’t afford to go, so, trusting my dream, I signed up to volunteer.

I attended the conference this past weekend, and for less than an hour of actual work, I was rewarded with inspiring talks by several speakers, 4 delicious, nutritious meals made with love and care, and a very different experience of people.  I had dinner with local government officials, prominent community members, leaders in the fields of energy conservation and alternative resources, community building, biomimicry, et cetera.  I felt totally at ease exposing my ignorance and asking “dumb” questions (although I did feel some general social anxiety).  I received coupons, free healthy snacks, and a box full of CF bulbs (more than I’ll ever use).  I received genuine hugs and expressions of appreciation for simply being there and being available.  I participated in a movement class that was exactly what my soul needed, it left me in grateful tears and a little voice in my heart saying, “Welcome!  Welcome!  We’re so glad you’re here, Rain!”  I felt like I really really belonged.  Belonged there, belonged on the planet, belonged in my community, that the very planet herself wants and needs me here and is showing me how I can serve and receive the fulfillment I have so desperately been yearning for.  I am overcome with emotion, tears in my eyes and heart even as I type this.

I walked into a breakout session and stopped short.  A young girl, early teens, was leading the group.  I recognized her…from a dream!  My head spinning, I remembered the dream..I walked into a room full of women.  In the dream, the girl, was sitting in a rocking chair to my right, smiling at me.  I turned to face a panel of black women sitting at a table.  I asked one woman, “What do you represent?”  
“Environmental interests,” she replied.  (I checked my journal and I had this dream 8 days before the Bioneers dream - I called it, "A Room Full of Women Happy to See Me)

All of the threads..coming together…

Perhaps this sort of experience is ‘normal’ for a lot of people, for me, it was radically different…coming from a background of violence and willful ignorance, fear and rampant drug use…it was a whole different class of human beings than I’ve ever experienced.  There was so much closeness, so much kindness, a few times I wanted to bolt, to get away, to isolate (I did go take a nap in my car for an hour)…and I kept trusting my dream.  Stay…stay…

22

General Discussion / Titles and Fragments

« on: November 08, 2011, 02:05:51 PM »

I have logged my dreams for about 4 years now.  At the suggestion of Patricia Garfield, I began titling my dreams this past summer.  I realized this morning how sharply it can bring a theme into focus, when otherwise I would have just thought…”random dream processing”.

Not only have I found titling to be illuminating, I have also come to see that even fragments can offer meaningful insight.

This morning I mulled over a dream fragment that I almost didn’t even bother to record – the previous night’s dreams were long and epic and I thought just that little fragment wouldn’t be worth anything. 

The dream:
I am drawing a bath, the faucet handles are old-fashioned white porcelain-covered. 
The water wasn’t very warm because someone before me had used it.
I considered drawing a bath anyway, and instead decided to wait and give the water a chance to get hot again.

I put it away, and this morning when I typed it up to add to my log, I wondered how to title it.  After a moment, I typed, “Don’t bother with the lukewarm”.

As soon as I titled it, I understood and laughed out loud.  I’ve taken a year off from dating, to heal and clean up unhealthy love habits and behaviors.  I had often found myself pursuing “lukewarm” men, and caught up in a pattern of trying to figure them out and win them over.  This dream reflected to me that, even in dreaming, my unconscious behavior is rejecting the lukewarm and refusing to settle for less than a delicious hot bath. 

Also it reflects to me that “I” am lukewarm about dating, and need some time to heat up again, as well as a general theme of reserving my time and attention for people who really value me, and not to bother with “lukewarm”, that waiting a bit for what I really want will yield a more satisfying experience.


I’m interested in hearing other’s perspectives and experiences with fragments and titles, please do share!

23

Dream Interpretation / Sucked down the stairs and a phone call

« on: November 07, 2011, 10:33:52 PM »

11/05/2011 Saturday morning

I am sitting on the floor of a living room….it is dim, the surroundings are posh, futuristic, sleek, steel gray.  I come close to consciousness, at least once or twice.  I question, “am I dreaming?”  I feel lighter…eventually I check again and realize I am floating and feel so light I must be dreaming, and am now lucid.
I rise and float/walk over to a large glass video screen on a wall to my right, it may be multi-paned, with a thin silver frame.  I see a woman in the screen that I’ve been interacting with, perhaps ordering something from her via the screen.  As I’m approaching, I am sucked into and through the screen, into a house, white with white wood banisters.  I’m flying..on my back, feet first, down down down through level after level.  At each threshold between floors stands a white bookcase, which seems like it might block me but each one topples easily as my feet touch it.  I’m being sucked down, though I am lucid I do not have control and it doesn’t occur to me to even try.
Next I notice I’m standing in a kitchen, facing the counter.  I am rubbing my face, chest, hands, arms in an effort to stabilize the dream and maintain lucidity.  I imagine a kitten would provide just the right texture to flood my brain with sensation, and a kitten appears on the counter.  I reach for it and it hisses and sputters at me…Bad idea!
I turn away (at this point I may have said, “I invoke a dream guide, to help me stabilize in this dream” – or it may be a fragment from elsewhere in the dream I remember), and hear a phone ringing to my right.  I move toward it, and consider answering it.  I suspect it is a message from my subconscious, and I hesitate…perhaps fearing what I might hear and/or, knowing I’m dreaming, thinking I may have difficulty hearing or understanding.   I don’t know if I answered it or not…I remember later, swooping and somersaulting in the air, practicing riding the current and allowing the current to move me rather than trying to fly anywhere.  I briefly consider zooming up or down with force, and don’t.  I notice the contraction and breathe into when the current unexpectedly drops or rises. 

***I tried going back into the dream to answer the phone, and the voice said, “you’re doing fine, no worries, you’re doing just fine.”  I don’t trust it!  I don’t trust that voice!  It’s the kind, sweet, gentle voice that told me not to worry, that my connection to the guy I was dating last year was a “no worries, it’s a stable connection” – I was dating a guy with a domestic abuse history and an FBI record, who was predatorily attending spiritual workshops to pick up women!  And that voice just kept feeding my delusional fantasy of him being in love with me and being "The One".
So.  I may try again or ask a friend to play it out for me.

24

Healing Dreams / Meeting Sophia

« on: November 03, 2011, 02:28:36 AM »

Two days ago I dreamed this:

I am working for my former business partner, and am with L (former employee).  I am trying to access online orders, and noticing that they aren't showing up in the email account.  I can't quite make out the subject lines.
My awareness expands to outside the building and I realize the police are coming to arrest us.
L disappears, I stretch out on a bench, and think "cloak of invisibility", and remain in plain sight, while the police search the place.  I am amazed that this works, one of them passes by so close that he nearly touches me.

They finally leave the building I am in....I wait until the coast is clear, then sneak into another shed to get my purse.  The plan is to take my ID and cash which will fit in my pockets, and leave everything else.

I reach for my purse, see 'rangers' passing by through the window, and switch the light on, bright white light floods the room.
I immediately know, I'm busted.  It's dark outside and they could see the light, I totally gave myself away.  I look for a place to hide, consider hiding behind the door and realize that won't work because the door will hit me when they come in.  I sling my purse over my shoulder and open the door.  I face the man standing there and begin to feel as if I'm expanding...bigger...bigger...bigger...the man puts handcuffs on my wrists that I hold out in front of me.

What I notice about these handcuffs is that they are polished wood, like large bracelets, they fit comfortably and they do not have locks or latches.  The man at the door wants me to know they are meant to be that way, they aren't meant to hurt or bind.  I continue to feel more expanded...and then  woke up.  As I awakened, I was amused and thought, "whaddya know, it was a dream!"

The dreamed turned round in my head today and I sat down to fantasize the dream further, it went in quite an unexpected direction:

"...I step outside, it is now daylight.  I face the man, lower my hands, notice he has short dark hair and a mustache..
"Where are we going?" I ask.
"You'll see soon enough.  It won't be so bad as you think.  It's actually a surprise.  You might even like it."

We walk into a building, and down a flight of stairs into a dark basement.  A lone, bare lightbulb hangs on a cord from the ceiling, sputtering a harsh, dim, blue light.

I ask, "is this where you are going to interrogate me?"
"Not hardly," he snorts.  In that moment, I know this man's name is Marco.

We walk through an open door into a dark underground tunnel.  I am wearing a deliciously soft and comfortable white cotton gown.  I am barefoot and the ground beneath my feet is soft, damp, mossy earth.

We pass an open door on the right.  Inside the dark room I see rows of nuns in black habits kneeling before a row of lit candles in dark red glass votives.  They are holding rosaries and silently mouthing their prayers.  One of the nuns looks up and gently nods her head to acknowledge me as we pass.  She is young with small, even features.  Dark, straight bangs rest on her forehead from beneath the white band of her habit.  She exudes peace and acceptance.

I am wondering where we are - my thoughts are interrupted by the crack of a whip and an agonized wail.  It's coming from ahead, to our left.  We approach the open door to another room, the source of the sound.  Sun is shining through a small, wood-framed, open window placed high on a bare, crumbling white plaster wall.

Before me is a cliche scene of a bare-chested man wearing a leather executioner's mask, whip in hand, ready to strike again.  I move closer to see the object of his punishment.  To my right is a slightly built man, wearing only a skimpy pair of leather shorts.  He is standing with hands and legs spread wide, leaning against the wall.  Six bright red welts adorn his back, all in a line from shoulder to lower back, running diagonally from upper right to lower left.

His face is contorted in pain, sounds coming from deep in his belly.  The man with the whip pauses and looks blankly at me.  The man being whipped howls and begs, "No, don't stop, please please, I need to feel something.  Why?  why?  Why?  Don't stop, please..."  He sobs and pounds the wall, grabbing chunks of plaster.

I place my left hand on my belly, right hand on my heart, inhale and whisper, "Sophia, guide me," as I take in the scene.

It's all too much for me, I think.  I want to stop it, I want to help, I want to change it, fix it, make it right...DO SOMETHING!!  But it has to be the right thing, so it doesn't get worse.
 I then realize I am no longer wearing handcuffs, and that Marcos'  hand, warm and supportive, is on the small of my back.  "Courage, love," he murmurs.

I stand there, breathing, taking it all in.  My heart breaks as understanding flows.  Again, I feel bigger, bigger, lighter, expanded.  Joy fills my being.  I begin to glow, to radiate a shimmering sliver-white light.  I feel myself dissolving, yet my awareness and perception are crystal clear.
I have no boundaries, yet I stand there, touching my body, breathing...breathing.  Strength and surety of knowingness fill me.

"What's to be done?  Nothing," comes the answer.  "Patience, wait, observe."

The moans fall away, the two men in the room dissolve in a shimmer of light.  Marcos stands beside me, the room before me now empty and bare.

I wonder what to do with it now...

"Leave it be," Marco says.  "In time vines will grow, cover the walls.  New life will emerge here, nature will take her course and reclaim this space.  The decay will feed new life and beauty shall come of it. "

I turn to face him.  He places his right hand on my heart and my left hand over his..then my right hand on his heart with his left hand on mine.  We gaze into each others' eyes, hearts beating in sync.  His face blurs and changes ...one human face after another rises and falls...the faces of men, women, children, all shapes and colors morphing and morphing and shifting until what finally appears before me is a golden, shimmering being of sparkling eyes.

It is the Sophia, and she is me. All else falls away.  I am home.

http://www.spiritandflesh.com/AlexGreySophia.jpg


I experienced a huge burst of energy when I completed writing this...Once I arrived home from work I was spontaneously moved to dance all over the house, I had so much energy I walked some of it off and still feel wired.  I really expected to be writing a jail story, this is nothing like I've ever written before.

25

Dream Interpretation / Telling B to stop

« on: October 26, 2011, 03:24:36 PM »

Last nights' dream featured a recurring dream character I call "B", who basically is an arrogant jerk.  Physically we are opposite, he's a tall, athletic, lean, black macho guy.  I'm a short, sort of frumpy round white woman.

A few weeks ago I dreamed Chuck Norris tied him to a chair and set him on fire (lol), which really ticked him off and I knew he'd be back.

More recently I dreamed an epic 'review' dream, where in a classroom setting I judged him as being "unavailable", then later sought him out to apologize for saying that and was approval-seeking, I couldn't face him and felt anxiety being close to him.

So this was last night's dream:

I am facing and interacting with “B”.  He is groping me, grabbing me and forcing a tongue kiss on me.  I push back and firmly tell him no.  He grabs my right forearm hard enough to leave a red welt.  I say, “If you don’t stop, I am going to tell somebody and you are going to lose your job.” (apparently we are co-workers in the dream)
I break free of him and walk away, into another area that is like a large garage.

I’m fuzzy on the sequence at this point –

I sit on a dock next to Ed (someone I work with in waking life) and tell him what I told B.
“You told him that?” he says incredulously, and shakes his head as though he can’t believe my boldness.

That was either before or after this scene:

I am in the garage area, turn around and see B behind me.  I’m facing him, keeping a distance, and exchanging words with him that I don’t remember.

B begins to retch…yet somehow instead of HIM vomiting, there is a container or box or metal stand between us, about chest height,  that is spewing vomit.  So, as B is retching, it’s as if he is somehow vomiting through the container.  Buckets of vomit spill out over the floor.    I am watching this in wonder, how is this happening?  And thinking, of course he’s going to leave for me to clean it up.  I don’t want to clean it up, and I’m thinking maybe Ed will help me.


I'm noticing that I feel a lot of resistance to dialogue with this DC.  I feel like because of his arrogance and insensitivity, there's really no getting through to him until he breaks down.  I'm also noticing I don't want to sit as his part...at least in part because I imagine he hates me and feels contempt and disgust and hatred for me and wants to hurt me and kill me.

Hmmm....

26

Dream Interpretation / Banishing in the name of God

« on: October 13, 2011, 04:27:20 PM »

This dream theme has been recurring intermittently for at least the past 2 decades...and since July I've dreamed this theme at least 6 times.

General theme is - feeling powerless against an invisible force that feels threatening to me (in the past it has been harmless poltergeist activity, recently has been escalating to paralyzing my body, and last night harming my children - then attempting to verbally banish it in the name of some "higher power" (God, Jesus, Christ, the angel Emmanu-el).  Sometimes I have been frozen, last night I felt I had mustered more strength than before in "fighting" it.

I'm interested in ideas about how to approach the dream.


Banishing in the name of God


This horrible vicious, invisible force has taken my two children, I remember an image only of a flash of them, one boy, one girl, about 4 or 5, struggling and being taken down a tunnel, slumped inside together (reminded me of “It” the Stephen King novel).  The image of them has a pale sickly green hue.

I am terrified..my husband and I are lying down, and I get up trying to find my children.  I’m saying desperately and hoarsely to my husband, “I need your help!”, only it’s difficult for me to wake him up, my thinking is fuzzy, and he isn’t responding.

I feel the invisible presence of something evil all around me, pressing on me, and I may have had a crucifix and I walked from room to room, with difficulty as I felt very very heavy, slow and sleepy, saying, “I banish you in the name of God” with as much strength as I could muster, over and over again.

I didn’t really believe it was working, though.

My body felt strongly contracted upon awakening.

27

Questions about dreams / Which dreams to explore?

« on: October 12, 2011, 02:12:37 PM »

This morning I recorded 3 dreams from the previous night, one of which was very long and is about 1.5 typed pages.

Yesterday, 6 dreams.

The day before, when I woke up I deliberately refused to remember any of my dreams because I was exhausted by all of the dreaming from the weekend.

I wonder if it’s even useful to try to go back into, play with, act out any dreams when I have so many!?

Maybe I am at an impasse…I wonder if I am simply at a point where I am accessing deeper and deeper levels of myself, and at a threshold where my comfort level is threatened, or if I’m losing myself in dreaming and need to shut it down and “get on with my life”.  I suppose only time will tell, I wonder if this is a common experience?

28

Greetings / Hi I'm Rain!

« on: October 11, 2011, 10:43:57 PM »

I've been avidly reading Tony's articles for several months now, and am so interested in dreaming!
I wasn't interested in my dreams when I was young, as far as I can remember, but nearly 4 years ago I had a few "big" dreams and a couple of spontaneous lucid dreams that inspired me to begin logging my dreams.

Lately I often remember so many dreams and some are so detailed that I often get overwhelmed and end up putting them away because I don't know what to do with it all!

29

Dream Interpretation / Hip pain, shops and cats

« on: October 11, 2011, 09:29:15 PM »

I was in a little shop, or someone’s healing room.  There were 2 other women – something happened where one of the women was about to leave or had something wrong with her.  The other woman said something like, “well, lie down and let’s see what your body says”.  She reminded me of LW (she looked more like me, though…the profile/nose, only thinner and older).  She was doing something like BodyTalk on the other woman, who laid down on her massage table.

I felt some distress and was thinking in my mind about how she needed to do an ecology check – we were both doing Matrix Energetics (basically using imagination and intuition and play), I could feel a non-physical body of something to the woman’s right, and there was a "thread" over to the left of her neck that I wanted to pull out.  I think it was her reasons for wanting to be sick.  Anytime the other woman would make a shift, the woman lying down would sit up and sort of argue for why she needed to be that way.  I was thinking “ecology check”.  The woman on the table finally sat up to leave, looked straight at me, and said emphatically, “I’ve had (a particular kind of) leukemia, so I’m probably going to have pain in my hips.”

Don’t remember exactly what happened next – then I think I was supposed to close up the shop and go back to mine next door.  Disjointed scenes of going outside, there is a metal wire rack with jewelry on it, most noticeably some big flowery earrings (Bakelite style), orange/red.  They were facing away from the road..I may have turned them to face the road so people could see them, then understood why they were facing away and put them back.

I was by the concrete back steps of a house, I put out some cat food.  An orange and white tabby came up to eat, then the food changed to something weird, clumpy bird seed or something.  Another cat appeared, maybe chasing the other one away.  It was black and fluffy.

I suddenly felt worried and rushed to get back to “my” shop, that I had left unattended and open while I was in the other shop.  I thought of the cash registers in there, and worried that I had been robbed.   I got back to my place, it was old.  I noticed a door in the hallway that was open that I believed I had left closed, and felt some fear again that I had been robbed.

I walked in, it was dark and dusty and musty (reminds me of old room in a previous lucid dream).  I wondered then or later why I would even be worried, all of this was pretty much old junk.

There was a an old, dusty, rust-colored couch over to my right, that was long and some of the cushions were knocked off and over.  I thought maybe the ‘robbers’ had trashed the place, simultaneously thinking it was already disheveled like that.

I passed the living room, where an enormous television was playing sound, with a red indicator light ON, but no picture.  I thought the ‘robbers’ had probably tried to see if it worked and realized it was an old junker.  Images in my mind of a cluttered room, worried about my iPod.

Woke up to the alarm, conscious mind thinking WTF what a nasty, dirty place full of old crap.  It reminded me, in feel, of the living room of a place I used to live where they set the table, arranged the furniture, and then never used it or touched it for the next couple of decades.

(To my knowledge, I do not have leukemia or any symptoms of such - I have experienced debilitating hip and back pain for the past 3 years, after a period of being athletic and flexible.  My first thoughts upon waking were that the woman was an unknown relative (I'm adopted)  I had somehow aligned with and taken on her pain.)