Screaming

[Omega]

I am sitting on the carpet a man comes and catches my shoulder in an iron grip, I am screaming and screaming but I am ignored. I scream and then become more in control, enough to call out 'Help me someone help me'. It's the 'whole body' scream of a child.

I then manage to run to the kitchen in desperation I run to my parents at the table and stand between them demanding their attention (this is unusually assertive of me) I beg for help but they still manage to ignore me and avoid eye contact. My father laughs in a very mocking tone and tells me I'm making a big deal about nothing, though in reality that would be a response much more likely from my mother. I look into their eyes and see only a 'dumb' look and a determination not to acknowledge me.  Im disgusted as I thought the problem was that no-one knew I needed help, but here I am begging for it & it turns out not even that works. I am in danger and no one will help me.

[Tony Crisp]

Omega – You were screaming out like a helpless child. Do you still feel as if you are helpless? As a child you were in many ways helpless in the world of adults, but now you are an adult and who has ways if helping yourself but in the dream you are calling as a victim. See http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/questions-2/#Victim

Also see 0-7 in http://dreamhawk.com/body-and-mind/every-seven-years-you-change/

Do you feel that as an adult you now have power of self-help?

Tony

[Omega]

Thanks for your reply Tony.

 I don't see how this child could be seen as a victim though, she is being so assertive and brave and demanding and she is consciously assessing the terrible limitations of her care-takers..

**[actually reading back I see how in my 'telling of the dream' I may appear helpless - but the energy was quite the opposite, it was in no way downtrodden or giving up - it was demanding in tone - she is shouting for justice. Full of energy and self-determination - but the situation is too powerful for her]

I'm going to expand here a bit as it may be of use to others.,

Yes I am an adult now, but in this dream I am that child self, and the dream very accurately re-presents past experience.

Do I feel I have the power of self-help? Well it's a process by increments.

Throughout my life whenever I have sought even the tiniest shred of help or compassion, I was told I was 'being a victim' and thus shamed into silence. And that is from probably since I could speak.  That has been incredibly confusing - because it turns out I was probably the only one who really had reason to call out in pain. I have since learned this is a common ploy to silence the abused, along with invalidating their experience so that they don't trust their perception of reality, or the truth of what has happened to them.

I think the greatest help I could give this child is validation. And that's what I'm starting to do. Every time I'm told I'm 'being a victim' it's like a wormhole I get sucked down into and I have long journey to claw my way back up to 'hey maybe just maybe I have a reason to look back in anger'. Maybe I suffered intensely through being tiny and powerless - but that's not the same as 'feeling sorry for yourself'.

 I don't think Power can come before truth and its validation (for those of us dramatically lacking this).. but empowerment will come as a result of it.

Maybe you don't have the same associations with the world 'victim' as I do?
But I've always associated it with weakness, lacking backbone, self-pitying, laziness, someone who could easily change things but don't, lacking any willpower..

So I think this little girl is feisty and doing as much as is possible in a child's body.

I know the next level is to change the outcome, but I guess she has some battles to fight to get there.

[- anna -]

Hi Omega 

I am curious to explore with you if you feel like it too, why you have chosen for the approach to return to the past in order to change it.

I believe that your dream shows what is somewhat like a repetition (compulsion);

A traumatic repetition could be seen as the result of an attempt to retrospectively "master" the original trauma, as an attempt to turn passivity into activity: 'At the outset she was in a passive situation...but by repeating it, unpleasurable though as it was she took on an active part'.

With the approach you have chosen I feel that you have given the child a "title role" in the inner drama/play
as in that she has to change first - become more assertive -  before the inner father - http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/father-dad/#InnerFather - and inner mother -  http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/mother-mum-ma/#InnerMother - are willing to change and hear her call AND respond to it; become active.

I have questioned myself more than often - I partly took the road of wanting to change the past as well  - if it is the most kind and loving way to deal with our inner story and perhaps we can find the answer together
and help other people this way too?

Do you think/feel that this path of inner healing that you have chosen comes from the Life Will or from your conscious self?

In life and sleep we have two powerful actions working in us. The first is our waking experience based on having a body, its limitations, vulnerabilities and a particular gender. Our second is the power that gave us life and continues to express as dreams, in our breathing and heartbeat – our life. This I have given the description as the Life Will.
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/what-we-need-to-remember-about-us-3/#Important

Do you think/feel that your inner parents not listening has become a part of your conscious self too?

Dream Interpretation / Re: Repeating character
« on: January 11, 2016, 10:39:49 AM »
That is a distinction I had not thought about regarding feelings - personal vs core.
thank-you.

Not development, but revealing, yet there's the conundrum. Just accept my particular life has its own growth process and timing..

Ah me and my striving.. Ha ha ok I'll let go for  today 
Then everything changes, like the being silent in nature you spoke about

The storm of personal emotions quietens..and I can listen..

Thankyou Tony

Would you be willing to explore and share in here what happens if you take on the role of your inner father and/or mother to experience what will happen if they tell the child that she is loved and that she does not have to fight anymore in order to be heared; in order to change the outcome?

Anna 

[Omega]

Hi Anna. Thanks for your reply.

I will try respond from where I am my perspective on the points you make.

Emm it's hard to see my dream life as a choice, seeing as it comes from the unconscious which I don't believe I control. I feel the inner child is doing what she needs to do. And she is bringing my conscious mind to a time I don't consciously remember.

I don't see this as changing the past, but as changing energies 'present' inside me. What is the past/present/future only all 'now'.

I feel the path has come partly from Life Will and partly the needs of this inner energy/child. Consciously I have been working with Life Will in my waking adult life for a while and I expect this will start to influence my unconscious worlds.

I will take a look at your suggestion, working with these inner parents and read through all the links in the next few days. If the inner parents told her she was loved? Emm I think the need for safety protection is more immediate than love, she needs to stay alive in order to receive love.


I feel confronting them is huge engagement for this kid already.. so in other ways I think I could also let her get on with it. But I guess actively working with the inner figures might activate a transformation of some kind.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply Anna

Best Wishes

[- anna -]

Omega 

Thank you so much for responding too, as this is helpful to me and maybe to others.

Emm it's hard to see my dream life as a choice, seeing as it comes from the unconscious which I don't believe I control. I feel the inner child is doing what she needs to do. And she is bringing my conscious mind to a time I don't consciously remember.

I don't see this as changing the past, but as changing energies 'present' inside me. What is the past/present/future only all 'now'.

Maybe I was not communicating clearly?
I did not mean to say that you chose for a dream you had, I meant why you took the approach of focusing on the role of the child in your dream only, when you looked at your dream while awake.

Maybe our perception about what a dream is, is different?

The way I would approach your dream if I had dreamed it is that I would see every part of the dream as a reflection of my own inner world, so I would see "a man who comes and catches my shoulder in an iron grip" as a part of me too.

It took me a long time to forgive my inner child, because unconsciously I blamed her for all the shit that had been part of my adult life as well.

There are many ways in which we might come face to face with our inner baby or child. These might include the arising in your daily life of inappropriate responses to situations. In a warm and loving relationship you experience only pain instead of pleasure; you feel terror that your partner will abandon you; you hit out emotionally or even physically at the person who is actually closest to you; you withdraw from the world or lack any motivation to be a part of society or be in contact with others; you feel enormous longing to find love, but it never seems to be there when you relate to someone.
http://dreamhawk.com/health-and-healing/inner-baby-and-child/

I trust that the approach you use is what works best for you; we all create our own path towards inner healing and growth and I wish you all the best on your path too.

Anna