Jane – You obviously have a lot of love for him, but my understanding is that your care and worry are creating awful and fantastic ideas about him and death.
To quote from the writings if an amazing man, Emanuel Swedenborg, “Years and years of daily experience have witnessed to me that after separation from the body the human spirit is a person and is in a similar form. I have seen this thousands of times. There is also the fact that hardly anyone nowadays knows what the spiritual is, let alone that people who are spiritual, as all spirits have a human form. This is why almost all the people who arrive to this world of the dead are as astonished as they can be to find that they are alive and that they are just as human as ever, that they are seeing and hearing and talking, that their bodies are still endowed with the sense of touch, and that nothing at all has changed.”
That is echoed by many others who can see what most of us are so blind, and we have been bombarded by statements that we are the brain and when the brain dies we are dead for ever. Which is nonsense based on the fact science still does not know what consciousness is. See
http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/life-and-death-chapter-links/ for a lot of information.
The best way to help your friend is to feel the love you have for him and then hold him in mind. This will be received by him.
Here is a young woman's description of her exploration:
Unlike any dream environments she's known, her mind feels clear, alert, and free. Is she awake, asleep, or somewhere in between, in this place that's more vivid than previous reality? Her surrounding is cylindrical, vibrant, and vast; white light emanates with a strength that almost hurts. The only route is up the helter skelter stairs of this lightening bright, snow blindness light-house. Tentatively, so unsure she starts to ascend; round and round she coils windowless walls forlorn, until she reaches the top and it's sacred platform.
Relief from the piercing light is achieved where windows open on to darkest space. Her anxiety easing, she approaches the central display: an exceptional, universal camera obscura. Far from static it reveals the whole world and with just one thought from the viewer's mind, a place and a loved one instantly appear presented real time for one to observe. Standing mystified, a presence then joins her and informs her with seemingly no external voice at all: "This is the place where people come after death's fall."
With instant recognition of her self-mortification, she spontaneously utters: "Oh, so I'm dead!" The presence inwardly sighs: "No, you've misunderstood my intention: I've brought you here to show that each of the dead choose someone to guide and watch over on earth. And that you have a someone still loving you. Your self-destruction is unnecessary; you just need to give life a reasonable chance. Please think on this experience and what I have said; your duty is still to life, it's not yet to death."
Tony