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« on: March 04, 2012, 06:20:11 AM »
I must say I do dream sometimes I remember them and other times I don't . Let me start by saying last year was very tough for me and my family. Nov 27 2010 I lost my son London I was 7 months and 2 weeks Pregnant . The cause of his passing was the cord was wrapped around his neck twice . I was very devastated over his death. I was so excited to have another child . My son is 11 and I had many issues with him when I was Pregnant and almost lost him also . So I was a high risk with London but I was feeling great knowing I was almost 8 months and thing were looking great !!! It was very unexpected to lose him .
My dreams started about 5 months ago . It feels so so real and I feel like I'm standing right there I can feel the heat from the sun and the glowing lights . I'm standing in a beautiful Garden with the most brightest flowers I have ever seen . the light or sun or this amazing glow is so bright . I hear my name in a whisper I'm looking to see someone or something and I see a figure of a child the glow around them makes my heart melt (this is when I believe my crying starts ) I call out to the child or figure and all I can see is the green eye's . ( which I have the biggest green eyes and so does my son Joey ) I keep saying please I can't see you come closer to me come to me please . But all I hear is the whispering of my name . Then the last dream I had was the same dream everything was the same but there was a bear blanket beneath him . It was the blanket I asked them to wrap London in. My husband has had to wake me a couple times and when I wake I'm a wreak I have never in my life cried has hard as when I wake and I feel like my chest is so heavy and is going to explode . My husband tells me he is so scared because I am totally asleep and I'm crying so so hard and screaming please coming to me . This dream is affecting me I can't eat right sleep right sometimes I'm up until I just pass out because I'm scared to dream . When I start thinking about my dream I just start crying and I feel that same heaviness on my chest . I am the most loving mother and my children are everything to me . I love my life but I wish my London was here with me . Please can someone help me make sense of all this . Please help It is 1;19 am and I still haven't sleep in three days .