Last night I had a series of scary dreams within the first couple hours of sleep. When I awoke I had a sense that something must've gone wrong. I can't remember the last time I felt such desperation. In the dream I am around strange people with no idea of how or why I got there. At one point I go into panic mode demanding to know what's happened to me. In my mind I sense I've been kept in an insane asylum and drugged or possibly I've been in an induced coma or something or other. The part of the dream that left the biggest stamp on my memory (probably because it was the point at which I woke) was lying, incapacitated, in a field. There were dogs seemingly in position to protect me from a pride of lions. I felt certain that the lions would easily overpower the dogs and devour me, but in fact, it was the dogs that turned and began to attack me.
Current life situation: My little brother who is in the throws of bipolar disorder made his way home the Saturday before last and it's been a wild ride. He's made life much more interesting but at times he can be overwhelming. He's had this way of encroaching on my life and space whether it be coaching my soccer team or wooing a girl(we're only 2 years apart) or constantly being on my laptop and having to go where I go..... I'm just doing my best not to aggravate his condition so I haven't confronted him about any of this. We did have a little feud a couple days ago about him keeping all his shit in the bed of my truck but he got over it relatively quickly.
What's troubling me is that I envy him. He has almost zero inhibitions where I am much more reserved/cautious about how I approach things. At times I think to myself that maybe I need to learn from him. Maybe I need to be more bold, more assertive, but then I also think maybe the person I am right now is exactly what he needs. Whether it's related to my dreams or not I feel it's definitely something I need to meditate on.