Two nights ago I dreamed I was facing a tiny young woman who was being held protectively, although she was struggling a bit, by a man, lounging on a sofa.
Her name is Mercedes (the avatar of an acquaintance I admire) and I told her, "Mercedes, look! You can't hurt me! Look! You can't hurt me! Look how much control you have over me!" as I felt something like electric buzzing on the outer sides of my breasts, as if a TENS unit had been hooked to them. It felt like paralysis, too?
It seemed to me as if she were somehow controlling my movements.
I insisted to her, "I AM love!" at which point, I woke up (false awakening! - although it seemed more like zooming out of a scene) lying on a sprawling bed, with my new smartphone on my chest, listening to a decree being sung called "We are In Love". I recognized the tune (although this artist has never released this particular decree/music to my knowledge), smiled, reached above my head to find a pair of dark, big goggles resting on the headboard (I believe this was happening simultaneously in an 'overlay' dream).
I realized they were not mine, I felt relieved and put them away
While at the same time, in the 'other dream', I smiled at the lyrics "We are in love" and
awakened to this reality, feeling pleased.
I notice this dream seems to reveal conflicting thoughts or beliefs - I am love, you cannot hurt me, and yet at the same time you have control over me that feels horribly uncomfortable and buzzing on the sides of my breasts. Perhaps simply a window to reveal the conflict for resolution?
Second dream - last night I awakened in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep so I expected a lucid dream after falling asleep finally about 3:30am.
Not to be disappointed, I became lucid and the part of the dream that feels related to the other dream is this:
As I became lucid, I began to rise, floating. I felt a strong male body supporting me and lifting me and it felt very light and easy and good.
Gratefully I was saying, "Thank you thank you yes, thank you!"
But when I said, "Thank you, Jesus!" the male dropped back down to the ground, bringing me with him. He seemed angry and/or disapproving.
I said, "It feels bad to feel (let down?) (I don't remember the exact phrase, my notes are at home).
I only saw a shadow of his lower body, then I felt fingertips digging painfully into the sides of my breasts from behind (along the ribcage). I pried the fingers off a couple of times, then managed to disentangle myself.
I turned to see an emaciated young black boy, wearing jeans and no shirt, looking at me.
I told him, "I want you to stop hurting me."
When he didn't respond the way I liked, I took both of his hands with one of my hands and held them firmly behind his back, to show him I am not kidding, knelt down and in his face said,
"I want you to stop hurting me."
The dream shifted after that to other interesting scenes but I noticed the intense and uncomfortable feelings in the same place in the 2 dreams which caught my attention.
I will dialogue with the boy and learn more about him. I've met with a character like him not too long ago through dream theater, who desperately wants my attention but is being bratty about it and going for negative attention - the kind of kid who really really really is dying to be held but won't accept a tender hug, will instead jump on the furniture and break toys and make big scenes.
It's so weird that my waking life seems so..peaceful (boring!) and going nowhere, but my dreams reflect to me that perhaps a lot is actually happening under the surface.