I am in a large building. I hear a man I have strong feelings for calling for me, he is singing and calling for me and calling me by my first name, Beloved, (I usually go by my middle name).
I am running up a flight of blue stairs, into a dead end corridor, I turn around immediately and head for another flight of stairs, this time going down, seeing a new way I hadn't seen before. I feel appreciation for the sturdiness of the blue wooden handrails.
I arrive in an open room, where C is.
It is a showroom, wide and expansive.
I see an antique car, like something from the 20's, with no top. C is in it, facing away from me. The car is cordoned off with a velvet rope, open at one side, there are 3 other women in the car, about to have sex with him.
I run away, into another area, where there are 2 guys sleeping.
The scene shifts and one of the guys wakes up and tells me C already left for another city.
I feel horrible, as I realize he didn't come to see ME, it was just convenient for him on his way through.
~~~
So, at first I went back into the dream to see better what was going on. I imagined different scenarios, where he followed me down and I told him how I felt and he comforted me, or just left.
What I am noticing is, that I wouldn't allow myself to hear the whole conversation when he started to say something I didn't want to be true.
I wondered whether, this is the reality of the situation with him? Is this a message that I am only a passing convenience to him? Or is that my fear?
In typing this up, I realize I didn't explore the option of just getting in the car with him, or calling him over to me - I mean, he was singing to me and calling me - I saw him with other women and made some assumptions.
In my ideal scenario, he would be coming to me. In waking life, he calls me a magnet and talks about how he feels magnetized to me, so why am I dreaming about answering his song? I am believing that is somehow wrong, or off...I am the woman, he should be answering my song or something.
I'm at a point in my life where I am seeing how I cut myself off from what I want most by making up stories about men and their motives, so I would love some help with this. I noticed that when I feel insecure is when thoughts of 'cutting people off' and stories of how they don't really care about me or they are just that way or whatever come up, instead of just asking for what I want and need. I can see how I felt insecure, seeing him in a car, with other women, I felt insecure and ran off.
Okay, that opens up other possibilities in my mind...
I'd still so very much love to hear what you say, this is a topic that is very important to me - love and relationships with men...
