I am not sure you have defeated it.
I believed the unexploded devices are traumas you have not yet let yourself experience. And traumas are not awful to meet. What is awful is all the defenses we put around them. They are usually a great relief to 'explode' and feel free of.
To quote: A woman in her 50s told me that she had been troubled since childhood by a recurring nightmare. She would be walking down a street she’d known as a child, and pass some railings. There was nothing obviously awful in the dream, yet she always woke up crying and fearful. When she was in her early 40s she told her sister about the dream. Her sister said that when the dreamer was about three they’d both been attacked by a group of boys while near those railings. To stop them, the sister had said not to hurt them because their mother was dead. At this the boys had left them alone, but the dreamer had been badly shocked.
The nightmare stopped as soon as she learnt about the childhood incident from her sister. This suggests that her troublesome dreams were an attempt to make her aware of a part of her past that held unconscious pain or fear. As soon as her conscious mind knew the full facts, the nightmares were redundant. The nightmare was an attempt to integrate what she unconsciously sensed, but may never have defined or put into words. This description applies in general to all of our dreams. They are a link between our deep unconscious biological functions, our memories and intentions, and our conscious everyday social selves. In particular, nightmares are, as in the example, attempts to bring to consciousness powerfully felt events which led us to reactions which might have been relevant at the time, but negatively influence our present life, and need re-assessment. An event may have led us not to trust people for instance, or as with the woman, have powerful anxiety in connection with external objects – such as the railings. When understood, a nightmare brings the strength of the emotions and the original cause to our attention, so we can understand the connections and perhaps change our reactions.
Tony