Three part dream...
1. I'm inside a house. My mother informs me there is to be a big group trip or expedition, but I don't want to join the group for this journey. I decline. They depart on the expedition (an outdoorsy trip where they all walk through the landscape, sort of like a glorified hike). After they've gone out of sight I have second thoughts. Perhaps I'm missing out? So I leave the confines of the house and go outside by myself. I walk leisurely along through the hills, the meadows, the green gently rolling landscape. It's gorgeous. I've always loved being amongst nature. I come to a river. I intuitively know that the group was here at this spot recently. I realise I'm not far behind them. I'm catching up. I cross the river. I wade into what appears to be the beginning of a forest. There are trees here, and as I stand beside one I look up ahead of me and see the leader of the expedition. The other group members must be scattered about even further ahead becuase I don't yet see them, but I can hear them. I can see the leader, however, and he and I speak. He looked like my father physically, but in the dream I didn't think he was my father, he didn't have his personality, and I identified him as the leader of the expedition, someone I didnt know in any other capacity but that. This part of the dream ended here, with my having caught up to the group, specifically the leader.
2. Next I'm inside a waiting area with my fiance. There are rows of chairs and he and I sit there in the front row. I felt this was a public place, as other people were there as well. In the dream my fiance is the actor/commediane Russell Brand. In real life I've never seen a movie of his, I only know the general bit about his lifestory...overcoming difficult times, and turning his life around for the better. In the dream I related to that aspect of him, it was for that reason I felt he was the one for me and we had a connection because we'd both been through awful first chapters of our lives, suffered, and were more compassionate,people becuase of it. I'd always thought I could never trust someone who hadn't survived a horrible early life like me. Who else could understand what we'd been through? So I liked and trusted him very much for who he is and how his life's experiences shaped him. However, in the dream I also won't marry him. I won't tell anyone about our relationship. I've just got him in limbo there. I'll be with him, care about him, agreed to be engaged to him (and truly didn't want to be with anyone else but him) yet I could offer nothing more. I couldn not take one step further. So we just sat there. In those chairs. Like a waiting room. Suddenly we see a very pregnant dog in the open room in front of us. The poor thing was suffering greatly and unable to give birth. It was heart wrenching to watch. I ws afraid she'd die in the process. The puppies just wouldn't come out. Then my "fiance" encourages the dog with gentl words. Somehow the dog gives birth, painfully, to her first pup, becuase a slit suddenly seared open in the dogs belly, just like a c-section scar, and out came the first puppy, although even with the slit it was difficult and for the longest time it appeared that wouldn't be enough either. But the first puppy came. The dog was still suffering however. A voice said there was 7 or 9 more puppies still to come. But suddenly a grouop of nurses arrive to the brightly lit room and take the mother dog away , to the emergency room. I sighed with releif thath help had finally arrived.
3. The scene switches instantly once again. This time I leave the waiting room and walk into a more relaxed area. People are sitting at tables, lounges. And I notice that ever person in here (and the room is filled with people) has their own golden retriever. Actually, every person had 2 golden dogs of their own. It was as if the mother through all her suffering had managed to provide all these wonderful loyal guides for all the people. In the dream, the sight of the dogs at each persons side, reminded me of each person having their own guradian angel or spirit guid. It was like thedog had gifted human beings with extra help. That was the outcome of her suffering. Then someone approaches me as I'm walking through the room, and they ask me if I'd like my own dog as well. This new world, everyone had their own dog, or 2 or 3. They were abundant. My automatica response was to decline (dogs are a big comitment). I'd love the dog too much if I had one, always be concerned about their wellbeing. For as long as they were alive. So I wasn't sure I wanted that kind of committment a. Yes, I liked the dogs, but I didn't want to be attached and responsible, committed for life.