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Dream Interpretation / Sick Plant/Avoidance/Allegiance with PPL Who Are Bad4U/Fruitless Walking

« on: February 15, 2011, 12:27:48 AM »

There were multiple themes in this dream, but the most interesting for me was the beginning.  I was leisurely walking alongside my sister outdoors.  Wide open-space.  Not much in the way of development in terms of buildings, etc.  (In real life I haven't spoken to my sister in almost two years-After much dysfuntion and her refusal to take accountablity for treatment thats been ongoing for years, I decided to go go no contact with her).  Yet in the dream we're walking along together just like we used to when we were getting along.  In the dream I'm aware that in real life we don't get along, I know all the reasons why, and I ask myself why I'm spending my time with her here now.  At the same time I'm walking along with her in the spirit of playfulness.  As we walk we come across a guy focused on a pale yellowish tree or plant.  It was more like a large houseplant.  He knelt at that plant, gazing at it almost like a prayer.  With much caring focus.  Looking at nothing but this plant.  As if he cared about it deeply.  I saw the plant was not a vibrant green, but more of a very very pale green, almost yellow.  Which I took to indicate it was not at its best, perhaps recovering. Or at least the guy was waiting for it to recover and thrive.  The guy was the very guy who I could of had a relationship with, except I ran away from him, I knew I was too damaged for anything close to a relationship.  I've been avoiding him for about 2 years.  I see him out and about, but I pass by.  And in the dream I do the same thing.  I walk by.  With my sister.  And it''s really at this point that I became conscious and asked myself why I'm walking with my sister, why am I spending time with someone who I don't really want to be with? With some who has a history of treating me badly, when I could be with someone who actually cares and is good for me (the guy with the plant).  I know that the answer is because I've been damaged by my family, by hidden abuse, and I'm too scared to start any new relationships.  I'm aversive to them.  Out of cowardice.  And yet....I walk on by ...away from the guy...with my sister.
As we walk we now come upon a sports commentator/radio man and he overhears my sister making moneky noises--I am afraid that her immature moises (acting like a monkey) was accidentally broadcast to everyone via this sports announcers microphone.  He affirms that it did go through, but only as background noise, very faint.
The scene changes again and now I'm walking with a bunch of girls/people I don't know.  There's a sort of desolation in our journey. We walk. And walk.  And walk.  We're trying to get to the ocean.  But its all flat farmland, desert lan.  Monontonous.  I turn a corner up ahead, hoping that it will reveal the ocean beyond. Feels I've been walking forever.  But no, I turn the corner of a large bar/buildingto find a young man on a payone type thing attatched to the outside of the barn.  I turn back disappointed.  I really wanted my journey to be over. But ...no ocean in sight.  I keep on walking.  And walking..Next I find a bridge and there is snow softly falling. Quiet pretty.  Except then theres a bit of lightening and the threat of a storm.  There is no shelter but for this bridge.  So I go to it.  There is a sense that other girls are on the journy with me.  But I don't know them.
It feels like the major turning pint of this dream was when I walked past the guy with theplant.  It set me in motion of this endless , lost , walking.

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Dream Interpretation / Bees Lodged in Neck

« on: February 13, 2011, 09:59:26 PM »

Hello,  I dreamt thismorning that a bee found a crack or slit in the skin of my throat (right side of my neck below the ear) and worked its way in, burrowing itself beneath my skin.  I didn't see the slit, but it must have been there, however microscopically small, because it managed to burrow itself in there.  It found an opening and worked its way inside the flesh of my neck.  Next thing I know either more bees did the same OR the bee managed to reproduce itself inside me, because the mass on my neck grew larger like a large tumor.  Inside I could feel the movement and buzzing of these live bees inside my neck, beneath the skin. I had a large lump on my neck, it was a mass of 20-50 bees growing and living there.  Like a cancer that was alive and kicking, taking up residence. 
The mass wasn't down my throat, but rather more like a cyst you get under your skin.  A a cyst of bees under the skin of my neck.  In the dream I was aware of this problem (somehow it wasn't new to me at least symbollically I was aware of outside negative forces "infecting me" so to speak, and I've long been working to strenghen ny boundaries, free myself from such influences).  So I was aware that the bee infiltration was a visual symbol of the problems I've been having and I was aware of praying for help for this problem.  Suddenly an unseen but felt "Helper" arrives, mostly invisible, but it tells me it's pouring some kind of liquid into my neck to get rid of the lump and the name of it sounded like "Thorax" -something...I just barely recall part of the name of this medicine that the unseen helper poured into my neck.  As they did this the lump lesened and lesened until it went away completely.  The being that administered this made a point of telling me the name of this agent which dissolved the bee mass, but of course I can't recall the name fully.  Not sure what it might mean or symbolize, but if there's some magic oinment or attitude or agent that effectively removes the problem of being infiltrated by neative , foreign, mass, I'd love to know it!