My husband was killed in a mining accident five years ago. We had been married for just five months. I’m 26 now, and live alone in what was “our" house.
Since he died I have had three broken relationships, and am now involved, gently, with someone else. I have no fears— well, not apparent ones— and have a responsible job. However, after my husband was killed, at first I had what I would have thought were normal dreams about him. Eventually, after a nightmarish phase where he turned on me. the dreams faded away. Then, after seeming to cope comparatively well, two years after his death I suffered a kind of backlash. I had some disturbing experiences. I was awakened by a peculiar heavy atmosphere around me. Then my whole body would start to be enveloped in the atmosphere, feet first. I would start to shake uncontrollably from top to toe as if by vibration. I didn’t want to go to wherever I felt I was going — infinite blackness— but felt less and less able to resist. Strangely I wasn’t afraid. It felt like an event rather than a dream. But once it started while I was dreaming. I was trying to get out of a car. I was clinging to the side of the car in the dream while the “event” took place. When I woke I was clinging to the bed in exactly the same way. Denise