Dawn – Firstly remember that all the characters in your dream are most likely inner characters – An important thing to remember to understand you dream characters/people is that usually we are not dreaming about that actual person but a living image of them formed by your memories, impressions, events lived with them and even your intuitions about them. Such memories are living parts of us and influence us inwardly, so be put them in our dreams.
So being in the room with your ex is you feeling the influences in you left by living with him. Smoking pot simply means you entered a new and perhaps enlarged sense of yourself. You were both uncomfortable and extremely pleasurable with that. So I wonder whether you are mixing up the memories from the past that led to him being an ex, and the actual living influence he has left within you. Also there is an influence also in you about his mother. So, "what about the ink?!" What do you feel it refers to?
Again the difference between the past and the present influence by your ex comes into your dream. You assured yourself by opening your eyes. But of course you cannot get rid of your memories, but you can change them.
The thing about relationships, even awful ones, is that there are always things we learned from them. And a possible way to deal with them. Dreams often represent learning or personal growth as an organic process. Ideas and experience are taken in, digested, then form part of an organic whole in an integrated way. This is sometimes depicted much as a tree absorbs through its roots. What is absorbed becomes a living part of the organism. But that does not mean taking it in whole; it is broken down and only the parts that are usable are integrated into the life of the organism, the rest is discharged as waste matter and is later used as compost.
So if you are troubled by dreams of your ex or a past experience, the best way to deal with them is to work on integrating the influence left in you from it. You can do this by thinking about the dreams about your experience and drawing on all you got from him or her or it. So I would suggest you take in all the good and bad things.
Try doing this by taking the dream images of your experience or person and pulling them back into your body. Yes, literally making them one with you. Do this slowly and allow any feelings that arise. I know you may feel why should I merge with something or someone who gave me so much trouble. But taking the memories back into you is like owning them and integrating them. Think of it like digesting something. You experience it by chewing it over, then your inner life process takes in what is useful and passed out what is just crap. Holding on to any experience is like keeping it undigested, so you cannot feel at ease.
Anyway you manage something of that by clearing the cobwebs away. The black spider may have been past fears you had which now you feel easy about. In fact, it starts to led to a new part of you. But I feel the important part is your realisation about the DNA.
We all have faults with our DNA, for few of us are perfect physically or otherwise. Our DNA is, I feel, our collected experience from an incredible length of time. We can of course alter the pattern it gave us by allowing the process of life to work more fully and deal with and digest our life experience. See
http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/the-lifestream/#Open As for the £22, I see it as energy adding to your own energy through your relationship with your daughter and her friends. Maybe you are young in heart. But you can find out for yourself
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPersonTony