(The name "dinosaur" was put by the person who dreamed this). The post about nightmares was great! It responds precisely about the dream I wrote, in fact now I remember the way I named it in my notes was "a beautiful nightmare"... yours are always outstanding. I have to say this dream I wanted to understand and well, it's not my dream but someone else's, that's why I've kept guessing... the fascinating thing about this one to me is the way it impacted my life through this person. I mean, this boy and I were just getting to know each other, mainly writing to each other (we lived in different towns and had just met at university that year) when he told this dream to me. For me it was a wonderful dream and in some way he "used" it as a way to express feelings that to that point I didn't know that could be "real". And I'm the kind of person that believes a dream has the power of expressing honestly things we don't even know that are inside of us. Of course there was also a background for this story and he had already told he wanted to deepen his relationship with me and I felt the same so the dream acted as the "revelation" I needed to take it more seriously. In short, I kind of fell in love with that dream, so I thought it was worth going beyond the friendship that was blossoming between us (I won't judge now if it was a "bad" decision to develop such sudden confidence in my feelings and those of another just because a dream seemed to "signal" so). I simply felt he was being honest and the dream, at least superficially, showed he was really opening to me and the great experience a relationship could be; I also was extremely curious to know how a person could "follow" the flow of events so naturally as he seemed to be doing, almost exactly the way I "dreamed of" when all began.
I think your answer tells a lot about that perception, and of course about this boy's personality. It showed in fact to be very contrasting to mine, because, when we accorded with meeting again and began the "real" relationship, it wasn't long until he acted as if he was having a hard time trying to live to some weird expectations he had put to himself (thinking it was me, maybe). By example, he wasn't as passionate or open as he depicted himself or he wanted me to think, as the dream supposedly said he was, and it sort of ended
up being a mess in the sense he didn't want to demonstrate anything, I guess 'out of a sense of inadequacy', because he wasn't feeling the way he thought he'd feel being along with me (holding hands, etc). I didn't force anything but I wouldn't stop being freely what I am and he was growing uncomfortable, maybe he wanted a more "secret" kind of thing, as when we wrote to each other (in that sense, maybe in a daring way against roles and stantdards, I think I don't really repress my urges because of social or personal dilemmas). I feel I am free enough to confide in myself and others, with the obvious "weird" or "forbidden" sttuf that comes along. I mean, I'm not a libertine, because I believe in the conscious excercise of our will and wouldn't do in full knowledge anything that could harm my own wellness or that of another, but I also do feel at peace in knowing there are lots of things in our humanity that can be scary and ugly (because of the unknown), and I think my dreams tell me about that clearly; I don't feel menaced or repressed on embracing my sexuality and all the feelings and thoughts arising from my "encounters" with my own nature (which happen so openly in dreams).
OF course I'm also very ignorant of so many things yet, and naive for many others, and that gives me an odd sense of wellness of being just me, not expecting too much as to fail to my own "standards", what I think was the main conflict with this boy. He expected maybe the wrong thing because I acted so "liberal" in so many senses, but he was afraid or ashamed to admit what he wanted for real (he had embarked in a relationship with me without dealing with his own conflicts and desires) and some way he disappointed himself after short, saying it was me the disillusioned one -to escape again of his own responsibility about himself more than me-. He had somewhat talked about the very hard, abusive family issues he lived, and an unresolved and disastrous long relationship he had "ruined", but he didn't seem to want having me helping out, not even as a comforting company -in fact as time passed he seemed desperately in need to make me disappear, literally-; and again the curious thing was that a dream had told everything before he could even put the theme, but then I thoght it's just a dream, isn't it?. It was like the "foreboding" of a perpetrated abandonment, he wasn't even aware he had in mind to get away with when he told that dream to me. And of course as I said, neither I had a clue what would happen, so candidly confident about my feelings. I was just "believing" (and didn't have any idea but the romantic one about what dreams can convey).
I notice the interesting "series" structure dreams develop to bring about the real issues, as pointed out in your nightmares' post, and how they work out the power inside us, making us to confront the most incredible aspects of life and ourselves. I won't deny the dream remained haunting for a considerable time, because I had actually fell in love with what it represented. And of course some people said that we both were complete fools in believing a relationship based on fanciful artistic, unreal interests and actual dreams could possibly work. I won't judge anything about this, cause for me, even if the material consequences proved a plain and horrible failure, after he sort of ran away -because of guilt and other stuff that he won't ever say I guess-, this experience was yes, a hurtful and very disturbing experience, but also an invaluable opportunity for growth, that I chose to take that way, recognising my faults along with the need to learn real love and compassion and not judging either ourselves or others, and seeing the great wisdom of God manifested in our lives, to make them whole beyond our self impossed limitations, fears and desires. Now I just remember this and think he could use some help like this as much as me, as when he said I was scaring him when I told that our relationship had really been one of ghosts, as in the dream. Or the day I asked him to hold my hand -some time after we ended the affair- (it wasn't a relationship for real in the eyes of the people he looked to for "help"), and he said it was "inconvenient" and I realized that was the person he had kept hidden for all those
months; he asked me, maybe mistaking dreams with reality -didn't we ever?- and just said "sorry" but kept acting his convenient "public" self, the one he didn't show to me but now; it was sad but I wasn't discouraged about getting some truth from it, and one day acted out the last part of the dream for him... I don't know if he got the point or if he will some day, but I feel I was as sincere and confident as I could for him to the end, in spite of my flaws.
(And yes, I've heard about dinosaurs being far more colorful and exotic than those of movies, and how persons in dreams reflect and portray aspects of ourselves, -maybe this boy didn't, I don't know...- thanks!)