Christine - It seems a clear enough dream. You are faced with a choice between the darkness and the light and you said no. That is a natural reaction because having lived in the darkness we are used to it and so are repulsed by any change or challenge. I remember when I came to that point I didn't want to take it up - because I saw I would have no more excuses for my 'illness' and living in a pigsty.
I believe when we are born we are washed up on a shore of a great sea. We call it birth, and we can be born into all sorts of problems and strangeness. As I say in Ground Zero (
http://dreamhawk.com/poems/ground-zero-the-psuedopod/) "Anyway, being born is a shit thing to happen to one so young."
We are like seeds of the whole cosmos who have been entered into birth with an amazing potential that has to be uncovered - and it has been covered up with all manner of shit.
The spiritual adviser is the potential you are born with. I think it will be worth while making a fuller relationship with him/her/it. It will be hard work shoveling the shit, but what else can we do?
Tony