Messages

91

Questions about dreams / Re: Life as a dream

« on: April 06, 2016, 11:33:13 AM »

Great thankyou Tony.

Reading Anna's experience gives me a straightforward exercise I can try whenever I can find the physical space.

I read up on subud and it looks interesting..who knows maybe France will be a possibility for me. Please update.

So to recap on the original post - it seems the answer is to find the healing, then the analysis, the why and wherefore of the effects of wounding, will no longer matter..

92

Questions about dreams / Re: Life as a dream

« on: April 04, 2016, 09:38:52 AM »

Hi Tony, Where do you find such a group? I have done some home movement exercises..but living conditions don't suit right now. Glad you understand about how powerful such energies are, as you outlined in your previous message. A lot of people don't understand..

93

Dream Interpretation / Doctor

« on: April 03, 2016, 01:48:51 PM »

I discover a wound on my upper arm, I think it's jam and pull congealed red material away but it must be blood. Beneath a circular hole in the skin, raw flesh shows exposed beneath. A dark haired man appears, youngish, he says he's a doctor and needs to cut it open I don't want him to I say Why? And can't we leave it? He looks too casual to be a doctor. He's very insistent, I'm scared and don't want him to do it, I'm afraid it will hurt and that it's not even necessary at all. It's like he just wants to experiment rather than heal me. I wake up scared heart thumping, takes me three hours to return to sleep.

Being the thing:
Guy/'doctor' - I am power. I can do what I like. I don't care if it hurts you.
Wound - I am wound. No skin to protect. Open access to inner. I am a hurt and I attract more problems because of existing.

94

Questions about dreams / Re: Life as a dream

« on: April 03, 2016, 01:41:52 PM »

No you didn't advise it to me Tony. That was my own deciding.. I chose to do so, firstly in a public space as it somehow made me feel safer. Secondly because keeping things secret is exhausting. Thirdly the person I expressed to is a key character that can help me in potentially moving to the next step, I no longer have the strength to move forward alone.

So I guess the potency of what I was sharing, was a very toxic volatile energy. I feel it drew that experience in by resonance, as the fact is I was not protected, but it was an 'if not now when' situation

Personally I have never found a group that is safe, I have found excellent counselling, but it's time for that work to join up with my real life, which is why I want to express myself and be heard.

But not experience more loss, to compound the severe loss I've already experienced in the process.. any other tips appreciated on how to express/release without setting up that resonance/repetition. Thank you Tony.

Of course another way of looking at it could be, the loss was the release even if via repetition. And now the tide will start to turn, an offering, here is everything I have infinite universe - take it - I know you will supply more.

95

Questions about dreams / Life as a dream

« on: April 02, 2016, 09:49:18 PM »

I realise I need to respond to some other threads, but I will do soon. Thankyou for those.

I have often been afraid to open my mouth, or express any pain, for fear that that very release expression, will attract more of the same, so I repress it where it does more damage, but at least I am not hurt immediately.. This has at least enabled me to survive, as keeping my wounded cry mute, at least meant the predators weren't immediately alerted to my whereabouts.

Recently after months of deliberation, I shared some very painful information, about abuse, and it turned out that while I did so, my bag and money and lots of important things within the bag was stolen from by my side.

But what did I gain from expression? More loss?
What good is release/expression if you are punished for it? Where's the healing?

96

Questions about dreams / Re: From lots of dream recall to practically none

« on: March 29, 2016, 10:48:07 AM »

Hi Christine, no no dietary change.
'Able to access the unconscious while awake' ..what does that mean? Please tell more. Thanks!

97

Questions about dreams / From lots of dream recall to practically none

« on: March 28, 2016, 07:22:54 PM »

Just wondering why my dream recall would reduce dramatically? From lots of dream recall to practically none..
To reduce stress on my system of processing difficult emotions?
To get me to focus on waking life more?
Because the unconscious does not need to be heard right now?
Because the conscious is still integrating the previous material?

98

Dream Interpretation / Candles

« on: March 26, 2016, 08:39:36 AM »

My brother in law is there..has someone died? I think so..
There are lots of tea lights in holders or saucers in each one £50 notes are folded and placed around each tealight.. There are around 6 or 7 around each one.. I notice one is close to a flame and has started to singe, so I reposition it so it is no longer at the flame.. I don't have strong emotions, I guess The tealight are pretty and have a lovely energy and seeing all that money feels quite abundant. But there is a sacred, religious aspect..

99

Dream Interpretation / Re: Man with a limp

« on: March 24, 2016, 05:53:07 PM »

Thank you Tony. A few associations.. A cool successful guy.  Loved by many. Powerful. Why does he limp though?  Because he's  much weaker than his persona, he's flawed.. . My older brothers and their music  records. My older brothers and their power and freedom..they can 'walk away' Their aggression. I only have my little dog, they have the outside world. My sister, another oppressive force, but she is also trapped like me being female.
Then it went into the poverty dream where I offered the baklava to God to try transform the energy of poverty..

100

Dream Interpretation / Man with a limp

« on: March 22, 2016, 10:40:07 PM »

I'm in the back garden of my childhood home. I am about 6 years old. Bruce Springsteen is walking away from me with a limp in his left leg, he's wearing black, a black leather jacket. Then I'm in a kennel in the same garden playing with a little tan and white terrier, he is very loving. (Emm I thought we never had a kennel but I just remembered a homemade one we had) Then I stand up and wrap him in a pale blue cloth and walk, he just loves being carried like that even though he can not see out, he obviously feels safe with me.
 Then I am walking by a calm rocky seafront, an older sister is talking non stop and I feel bored. Then it goes on into other dreams..

101

Dream Interpretation / Re: Sweat lodge

« on: March 17, 2016, 07:03:24 PM »

Well I would not have picked that theme out - once again thanks so much Tony!

That night I dreamt I got off a really storm hit ship in St.petersburg and I was homeless on the street and starving with my young child and husband. All I had was some sweet pastry, expensive baklava, though we were starving.. I ate tiny pieces of it and the rest I threw in the air scattering it and calling out to God to take it.. as I hoped my offering would break the spell of poverty we were under.. my giving our last morsel away to a faith in higher powers..

102

Dream Interpretation / Re: Sweat lodge

« on: March 10, 2016, 10:10:28 AM »

Thankyou Tony. I'm starting to get a sense of that immense past. The juxtaposition of past and present with the sweat lodge and with the 9yo girl in the old house and the modern joggers..seems to be a borderland. I can also see this past/other existence making sense in terms of all these independent dream characters..


Before I slept I felt the cold around me and I said 'if there is something you need to say I am listening, I will listen' I didn't feel afraid then, I felt very peaceful. No major dreams...

just these..I unlocked an attic room where I had things stored and found someone sleeping there in a sleeping bag. I was really angry, told her  to get out but then hesitated as they were leaving and said hey you know Im leaving, it will be for rent if you are interested. A pretty crummy place, but she seemed poor so may be glad of it. She was dark skinned. Then a guy asking me to be his girlfriend, also poor, I know he was hoping I'd say yes if he just begged or pushed hard enough, I looked at him and said I need to think, but really I don't go out with people who steal things and you do. He also just wanted a 'girlfriend' who I was was irrelevant to him, he seemed probably quite selfish.  Then I went and bought myself ice cream covered in fresh frozen raspberries. ( this seems to link a bit to another dream, a dark skinned girl was dying of starvation, high in the stony ruins of a building, I was looking for something to feed her and found icecream)

103

Dream Interpretation / Re: Sweat lodge

« on: March 09, 2016, 05:02:52 PM »

Thanks so much Tony. I found this deeply moving your experience.

After my dream last night as mentioned in the other post and the sinister energy.. My bedroom is now absolutely freezing, even with the heat on.. Bit concerned about sleeping tonight..

104

Dream Interpretation / Re: Dream character questions

« on: March 08, 2016, 10:31:51 PM »

Lots there for me to absorb thankyou Tony! I will pull out first what hit me most deeply ....
"I was always in love” with nature. But you could change the sentence to, “I was always in love with Life”. The reason being that all nature is the manifestation of Life."  This is a very profound connection! To see nature as a manifestation of life.. to consider I may be in love with life...  that's actually a leap for me..


Ok.. I forced myself to do some dialogue with those women.. For what it's worth - This is what I got:

Women: we are anger and hate we hate most things, but most of all we hate you.

Me: why do you hate me?
Women: we hate your innocence. We hate your hope. We hate your good nature.
Me: what do you want?
Women: we want to kill you..
Me: well why haven't you killed me already then?
Women: sometimes we doubt ourselves. And you are too easy to kill, where is the fun in that? You suffering is so much better. Your pain makes us happy in the only way we know how to feel happy..
Me: What will you do if I grow in power and stop suffering?
Women: We will find someone else
Me: but if, like I am told, you are a part of me, what part are you?
Women: we are ancestors who chose cruelty as a way of protecting ourselves from pain. We hate life. Our lives were abuse, horror, death, famine, rape. By not dying, we at least do not yield to our own annihilation..

Edit: so I did that before sleeping.. I didn't like exploring these women at all.

Then in the middle of the night I woke up gripped in fear, a horrible cold sinister fear...

I had been dreaming. I was young. An older lady was leaving me alone in a house. She was wealthy, possibly was my mother. The room I was in was huge, very luxurious. She was horrible, clearly hated me, but she didn't hit or scold me, just a general sense of loathing from her. I'm about 9 years old. When she left I tried to lock myself in a closet to keep safe, that didn't close properly, then I went around locking the doors. I turned off the lights. I went to the window then to close the blinds and people passing by jogging at night screamed when they saw me at the window. The worst thing was the feeling in the room, a hostile, very frightening sinister energy. When I woke that feeling was still with me and I had to work really hard with my conscious mind telling myself 'I'm protected, this is a dream, I'm safe I'm protected' because that same cold sinister hostility seemed to fill the bedroom of my waking reality..   I would say it took me ten minutes or more on waking, repeating that, to shake the energy..

105

Dream Interpretation / Sweat lodge

« on: March 08, 2016, 11:27:06 AM »

A child is running ahead of me and others through dried fern. I say Oh it looks so different now the fern has died back. I say I guess this is how many ancient monuments were found - children running through fern. We're on top of an old Neolithic site, but they want to show me something I missed when the fern was green when I visited last. Two small grass covered mounds that appear to be sweat lodges. A few people go into the first, someone takes my mobile phone and throws it in the ground to keep the door shut. I go into the second alone, I'm a bit lost without my phone.  I'm surprised to see it has a modern transparent plastic door, beads of water on it. However there is no steam at this point. I notice an electricity socket and hear a buzzing. I think how I will not be able to stand that noise, but it stops immediately. I guess the modern interior is a disappointment, it's bright rather than dark and the new materials carry little intensity or energy, as darkness and rock would have.
I guess the most compelling thing was the sight of the two mounds. Later I am with the girl, we are wearing very heavy gold ankle bracelets possibly of lots of bells or beads that are zipped on. I arrange us taking them off as I need to go home..

Now it just so happens I was at such a site yesterday.. But saw no sweat lodges.. But did see similar, but much larger, single mound that was an old tomb/ritual space.