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Topics - duckle

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Dream Interpretation / Poison and salt, dog love, death
« on: September 01, 2016, 09:10:34 PM »
My dad gives me capsules of poison called "sodium perchloride", in case I need to take the "easy" way out, which I decide not to take.  But, later, because of bad circumstances, I give it to my dog, Momi. First his eyes turn neon orange, and I become terrified of what I've done to him, then his teeth all fall out and it seems some bones come out, too. I am mortified, babbling that I love him and am sorry and would never want to hurt him.  It's like a horror show or haunted house kind of fear. But, then I begin to realize he isn't going to die, and I wonder what I've done and how to fix it. I wake up, still scared, but realizing it was only a dream.
Possible related facts:  I caregave for my dad when he was terminally ill and hurt my back catching his fall, rendering me disabled and in constant pain, which has lead, years later, to my having nearly exhausted my savings (denied disability, etc.).  I have been wondering what to do about my beloved dogs, in case I can't find a way to survive.  My conscience is clear; I have always been a hard worker and really am disabled and really have tried everything I can think of or afford to get out of this mess. Sept 1 was my deadline to begin trying to find them a good home, via the internet, but I am still trying to dig up the courage to face it.  If I can't, I am wondering if I will have to have them put down. The dog in the dream, Mo, is very sensitive and, about 3 yrs ago, when I told him I might eventually have to give them away to new parents, he began to cry out loud and with real tears, only calming down after a neighbor held him for about 20 minutes and reassured him that I had taken it back.  All of my dogs are either elderly or disabled and I feel the same sort of horror in real life as the dream presented, when considering the options.  I had a friend once who was good at deciphering dream puns, so I looked up "sodium perchloride". There isn't any such thing, but then I thought maybe it was the dream's way of getting around my thinking of table salt, when salt was the real meaning of the dream....as it has a 1:1 ratio of sodium to chloride (one sodium PER each chloride atom).

Dream Interpretation / Spider kills bird
« on: December 11, 2015, 08:50:37 PM »

I dreamed that my mother was driving a sedan, with me in the passenger seat, and, I think, perhaps, my dad in the back.  We were leaving a parking garage and, since she had dementia (in real life, she did have dementia and I tried, but could not get her license permanently revoked....I suppose that this reflects real life events, symbolically?)....she drove through concrete barriers surrounding a big square hole in the upper floor we were on, through which a car could fall several floors down, to the ground level).  As we sailed through the air, I thought, "We're going to die."; but she had accelerated enough before that that we just broke through the opposite barrier and ended up safely on the floor, again.  After that, we parked somewhere and she was going to be taken away (not sure if arrested or committed....which she actually was, in real life).  There were people standing around, waiting and doing things, and then I saw a large light brown spider, on the wall, or on a beam of some sort, catching a bird with it's legs around the bird's neck, and, although there was a struggle and the bird was much larger, it was clearly about to kill the bird (also light brown, like a small yard bird or song bird).  Then, my dogs woke me up; so I didn't get to see the rest.

Would it help to add that in real life, I am in dire straights, due to having taken a leave to care for my terminally ill dad, but ending up getting a back injury and denied disability....all the while being tortured by my mentally ill mother, who beat my father, but the cops didn't want to arrest her (they 5150'd her one time, and she was "certified" mentally ill and dangerous, but let go, and then they still wouldn't do it again)....so, it is possible I might actually end up homeless now, despite having once been firmly well employed, and I am not well enough to survive that.....to me, and this might be way off, it seems portentous....but of what outcome, I'm not sure.

Dream Interpretation / Part of a long dream
« on: September 29, 2014, 10:33:39 PM »
I had met a man in Europe and we had fallen in love in kind of a love at first sight way, but I had had to return home.  He soon came for a visit with a few of his friends; we were to hang around in town for a bit and then travel to a nearby larger city to visit with some of his friends.  The idea was for us to see if we were really compatible, by getting to know each other.  Neither of us tried to make it physical, as we felt we should start "at the beginning", so to speak.  I liked his friends, but on one occasion thought one was kind of complainy (She complained that we were going to the zoo, which was boring to her; but my friends and parents were going, too, so it needed to be a family outing).

We took an RV or camper to the bigger city and stayed at his friends' place, which was more like a rural farm; they were kind of survivalists - not really by hoarding things or weapons, but with the idea that the world economy was going to collapse and it would be wise to develop back-to-the-land skills.  In the dream, I had the same health problems I have in reality - a severe back injury that limits the time I can spend up and about, and a rash from medication.  At one point, the city friends asked why I was subdued and I said that my back hurt, and they recommended some herbal medication which didn't work well.

The outstanding image I have from the dream is of the boyfriend's skin.  It was kind of a light orange color, like kraft American cheese slices when they're wet, and, although it was soft like skin is, it had a different design that human skin really does:  it had regular dips that were like inverted pyramids, about 1/4 inch apart.  It looked as if, if one were to sqeeze it, it would pucker.  But, in the dream, no one gave it a second thought. It only seemed odd to me after I woke up.

Greetings / Hi
« on: September 29, 2014, 09:33:45 PM »
Hi, I just registered.  I've been having months of very intense, similar dreams and have decided to try to get a handle on it.... 

See you in the forums.

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