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Topics - warriorqueen

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Dream Interpretation / open wounds and hunchbacks
« on: May 03, 2012, 03:36:49 PM »
I dream I'm searching for home.  I get on a subway, get out.  I see alot of buildings, can't see my apartment building.  Not sure I'm walking in the right direction.  I ask someone, who points me one way.  I go, end up on a very deserted street, a poverty stricken area.  It's raining and rain is making cars splash dirty water.  I jump up out of the way of the dirty water and then climb up to the other side of the street.  I'm in a very poor neighborhood.  Like a slum.

I follow what looks like a poor, misshapen man--a hunchback who is lame, and end up in this maze where it's a leper colony.  Someone knows the way through and I'm following.  it gets narrow and I can't pass this man who has open sores all over him without touching him and fearing I'll be contaminated.  He has stumps for legs.  There's a baby there too, and I'm afraid if I touch these sore-ridden people I'll get leprosy.  So I actually threaten one to keep it back, a very quick moving tiny one who lies down in a small pallet meant for him--I feel guilty threatening somone so small and helpless but I go by. 

I end up in a different area, following a woman.  I know she's the healer/tender of the place.  I keep following but she's always turning a corner, out of my sight and I have to guess.  Finally I duck into a room.  It's dark, quiet, with all the furniture in order.  I speak out one exit and it's dark outside, with beautiful white sand and sandy water.  But I'm looking for her.  I turn into the room which is a whole apartment.  I peer around a wall and there she is: an old woman, with white hair.  I realize it's M. (a very elderly woman in my real life who mothers me).  She says:  "Hi!  you made it!  I ask her if I can shower.

This is not an easy dream for me to write here.  Even while I was in the dream, I felt alot of embarrassment and aversion toward these wounded, misshapen folks, which may represent the wounds I bear, and how they are not closed after a very long time.  I would like some advice for how to enter the dream and bring healing.

Dream Interpretation / caves and mountain men
« on: April 16, 2012, 01:04:57 AM »
I'm exploring an undersea village.  It's a series of caves.  I stumble into an area where someone lives.  She shows me a big room, a cave where many go to shelter from the rain/bad weather.  I got to this place by bicycle, riding fast with a joyful young man.  We went there together.  The woman who lives there also has a kitchen.  She is a very mothering type --she is so loving I just want to bask in it and stay in her kitchen forever.  She tells me of her people, and the love and affection in her voice are so strong.  She goes to the sink to do something and while I'm sitting there I have a felt experience of love, very powerful.  I experience deep, filial family care in this place. 

At some point, the grandmere of this mother garbs the young man.  It seems to be a gift.  A wristband made of fur pelts that hangs off his hand and then rolls back over it, to cover and protect it.  This act, which seems ritualistic (I am reminded of Esau writing it now) takes place in the room of protection from the rain, in a place where many people could safely hide and not get wet or injured in case of attack. 

At one point I'm afraid I'm getting lost.  I'm going into a new room in the cave of wonders, but it is a place where I'e been.  I'm too afraid to cross a big log, because it is high off the ground and I'm afraid I'll fall.  So I step down into the streamed rocks beside it.  I'm slipping, and two people are suddenly there.  I'm surprised because I'm there alone.  They show me the way back.  Also, at some point in the dream I'm fluent in their language, which sounds Italian.

Then I fall back asleep, and have snatches of images.  A guy on a bike with a snow/surfboard, who is meeting someone but gets taken to a place with water and he is murdered by having his head bashed against the rocks.  Then I'm with these other men, on a patio high up in the alps.  It's a beautiful place surrounded by mountains.  A famous actor I like b/c he is an artist (poet, photographer) who keeps away from the press is there, and I ask him his favorite mountain, that I'm thinking of going to Verscanza.  He says :speak of the devil, you can ask him now!" and a man arrives, bearded.  I realize I know and love him.  He's a mountain man.  Behind him are a young asian woman and child.  His?  I am dismayed.  I want him.  Minutes later I go over to him and we kiss.  He says, mind to mind, something like "You don't know the craziest things I've done"--he's chuckling.  We keep kissing.  His hair and beard are reddish.  I wake up happy.

I'm just starting to work on this dream--it seems that no sooner than I get a bit deeper into one dream, then I have another one (in this case 2!).  The most astounding thing to me is the idea that all of these represent myself, because when I'm kissing someone in the dream, for example, I feel the deep nourishment that comes from doing that--even though it is happening in my mind.  Or, when I have the experience of filial/family love, well, that's not something I actually have experienced, and so I wonder if actually there are certain things that give a person what is lacking in their external life.  Or is that just another word for wishful thinking!

The dreams seem positive, or encouraging at any rate, in terms of where I am right now.  Clearly the caves are my unconscious.  I like the bicycles in the dreams.  And the part with the fur pelts, it's been on my mind a lot, I have a deep longing for a time when the furs of animals were seen as sacred, and were worn as a sort of totem.   And I am actually a twin, so I wonder if it was some reference to that scene in the old testament, except here it is Esau, wild man, himself getting his fur, rather than Jacob fooling his father.

In dream #2, I wonder if the sinking feeling I had, seeing "my man" with another woman and child, simply represents my thinking I can't have what I want?

Any thoughts, appreciated.

I will keep working on images and questions.


any thoughts, anyone.


Dream Interpretation / family in dreams
« on: April 04, 2012, 02:34:02 PM »
I dream I'm sitting outside my family's house in a car (driver's seat).  I hear yelling inside.  Shira comes out (she's my sister in law, and a very loving mother). She's distressed.  I ask her if I can take her away.  She nods.  Gets in.  I back out.  My car is then moving forward, but the engine is either silent, or not working.  It's as if another power is making the car move.  I see everyone in my family come out of the house.  Especially my dad.  They're all looking.  I'm afraid they're going to say something mean, blame me (yet again) for something else.

Shira says that she heard someone in my family say something mean to her boy.  She asks me, "Could it be true? Could Lynn (my mother, her mother in law) have said to my boy that "your mother is going away to leave you?  Could she say anything so mean?"  Yes, I say.  I'm thinking of both my mom and sis and their mean, hurtful tones of voice.  "If they're hurt, they could say anything" I tell Shira.  I wake up.

I consider this a very important dream in that I think it shows the influences in my family that I have internalized.  It is difficult for me to believe though, that the characters are not my family on the outside.  For me, the most important thing is the boy.  And the way being told that his mother has left him might impact his emerging "ability to act in outer action"  in the world.   I also asked myself, if I imagine myself as this boy (who never actually appears in the dream) what would I be feeling from being told this:frightened and distressed.  It is my feeling that the good mother in me wants to get that boy away from such frightening ideas.  And also, there is some level at which that boy actually has not been abandoned by his mother--but has been tricked into thinking she is gone.

The part about the car, where I don't realize that I am moving myself forward, taking care of myself.  But that I think some "outside" force is powering the car it seems to me relates to the last dream I posted, where Tony wrote that I don't have confidence in myself.  Clearly, on some level, this is true.  The dream also shows that I indeed am in charge and taking protective, saving action.

I'm not sure yet what the part about my family coming out means.  I certainly am often poised for yet another way they will attempt to hurt me, and it is for this reason that I am estranged from them.

Any ideas regarding deeper delving would be appreciated.  As I'm not sure whether the energies that are my family--and how they truly behave--refer to internalized aspects of me or are actually them.


Dream Interpretation / dream with lots of animals
« on: March 26, 2012, 03:11:58 AM »
I'm trying to learn what my deep self is wanting from me.  I am writing down my dreams each night, with varying degrees of remembrance.  Here's last night's:

I'm in a field, searching.  I'm climbing, stepping over stones that turn out to be the bodies of cows and sheep, sleeping.  I try not to wake them.  A tent is over me, so I am hidden, I begin to feel afraid of being caught here, as if I'm trespassing.  So I step on their bodies to get out, at the end there's a card for wrapping wool.  I rip the tent open and emerge on a plain.  I walk away, furtive-like, for having trespassed.  A young woman in a blue coat calls to me, tries to intercept me.  I run away from her and she follows.  I keep running away.  She runs into a rat which scares her and she runs off.  Another woman is calling me.  Miss, Miss, I can give you another cart.  My chest is heaving, I'm out of breath.

First I looked up field: "often with animals" (Ha!) representing dreamer's contact with what is natural in themselves...also freedom from social pressure, one's sense of oneself when away from other people, with one's natural inclinations.  Interesting in my dream, the animals are under a large tent, so hidden from the sun.

sheep--conforming self;  cow--female side of one's nature.  I think they were mostly cows, golden in color.  The plain was also golden.

young woman I thought of as the part of me that is blue (sad) and then "rat" is a part of self I see as negative.  The sad part of me is scared of a part of self she considers negative.  Then another part of me is trying to get my attention (miss, miss).  The "cart" which would be drawn by an animal has to do with some sort of "drive".  "out of breath" suggests to me how much energy I am exerting to run away?

Then I tried the keyword technique, but it's my first time, I didn't get much out of it though some words are very strong:

field-searching-climbing-stepping over-sheeps and cows sleeping-try not to wake-tent over-afraid of being caught here-tresspassing--step over sleeping bodies--rip the tent open-furtive for having trespassed--blue coat-intercept-run away-she follows--run away--runs into rat-runs off.woman calling me-I can give you another cart--out of breath.

Any help with understanding better would be much appreciated.


Greetings / hello from new york city
« on: March 04, 2012, 03:05:16 AM »
Hello everyone,
and especially Tony-I've been using your dream dictionary since I discovered it at a small bookstore in the 1990's and I sensed the depth of trust in the world of dreams that I share.  I'd like to get a lot more skilled at interpreting my dreams, since I feel I have lost my inner compass (and the anxiety of being in my late 40's has descended upon me with ferocity).  I am beseeching my dreams to begin to speak to me in their own way so I can find my way back to making a life I feel more alive in.  So far, I've used your technique of imagining myself waking up and writing down what I remember, since I had not had any dream recall for awhile, which was alarming.

There were quite a few people from my past in the dream--since they engaged in professions I have also called my own at one time, I wonder if this is what those character's symbolize?  Also, a man named Philip (I don't know any men by that name) who was part of an emergency medicine course I was taking.  He was second to last on the "list" and we were attracted to one another (we kissed).  I did look up and see the name philip means "lover of horses".   I wondered if something about unbridled life force had become low on my list of priorities?  Also he takes off his coat to stay.  And what can "kissing" mean if both philip and myself are parts of myself in the dream?  I will look that up under symbols.

Another important image seemed to be this girl I knew in 4th grade (we used to play doctor)--she was now an adult, a doctor, an she was putting her stethoscope on in a certain way, rolling it up, and tucking it into a pocket in her chest so it "wouldn't swing around and get in her way".  Something about listening to the heart?

Lastly, Philip goes through my private journals (right upper drawer of desk) and I feel afraid he'll find my unhappiness and it will put him off.  "find anything?" I say.  He tells me he remembers once when he was very sad.  I'm afraid he'll leave but he doesn't.  I wake up, and I know there's one more thing he's trying to say about what he wanted, but I fall back asleep.

I'm wondering how to put these "clues" together in some way?  I think I'm hoping that my dreams will give me some instruction and guidance for how to find my way to a life that feels more vital.

Well, I think maybe I've written my dream in the "introduce myself" area of this forum.  If this is so, I hope it's not a problem.  I look forward to being able to learn from others' dreams and from any guidance Tony can give.  Meanwhile, thank you Tony for all you have contributed to this field.


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