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Topics - Tony Crisp

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 17
1
Dream Interpretation / Confused
« on: October 23, 2020, 09:52:09 AM »

Hey Tony, sorry to bother you. I was wondering if I could ask you a question or two about how to decode symbolism of atypical images. In this particular case I am looking to better understand the meaning behind an impossible animal hybrid. A chimera made from a peacock (the upper portion) and a specific spider - a grand-daddy long legs (the lower portion)...

Sara

2
Dream Interpretation / I Killed My Baby
« on: October 18, 2020, 10:07:59 AM »
I had a dream last night, it was the most horrific thing! I killed my baby in my dream! I am so terrified of the
Dream, I love my baby sooo much, and there is nothing I won’t do for him.
The day he was born was the beginning of my life, and I can’t understand why I
Would dream such a thing!!!! Please help me understand?!?!

Tessa

3
Dream Interpretation / Terrified of spiders
« on: October 07, 2020, 08:29:46 AM »
Dear Tony,

I am twenty, married, and terrified of spiders. I dream I am in bed and a spider falls on me and crawls under the sheets. I see it clearly and leap out of bed screaming. My husband tries to calm me, but sometimes I punch him. I nearly broke his nose one night. I am only seven stone, but in my sleep I am a fighter. Can you help me? - Mary G. Essex

4
Questions about dreams / I am that little soul yearning
« on: June 16, 2020, 10:14:53 AM »

Dear Tony,

I just want to express my gratitude for you and all you have posted
on your website and for all the books you have written. I still have
your book "Do You Dream?" published in 1972 - the first book I ever
bought on dreaming, and have been carrying with me through life ever
since. I so appreciate "The New Dream Dictionary" and look forward to
its expansion. Your website is so insightful and inspiring.

I do have a question or two, though, and hope you can give me and
other dreamers like myself some guidance. As a person who recalls
numerous dreams each night and writes them in a journal (as opposed
to typing them in your on-line program), are some ways better than
others to "work" with such a plethora of dreams?  I don't want to
intellectually understand each and every dream , but what is the best
use of dreams for those who are such vivid dreamers? How does one
chose from so many dreams the ones to dwell upon, to research, to
work on dream groups, etc? (Yes, I have looked at dream series,
recurring symbols, etc. and see patterns and changes, and yet I still
find it a challenge to keep up with such a prolific dream life).

I am also fascinated with dreams and art, and perhaps you give some
pointers in this area as well? One understanding I have in regards to
dream art is to express the feeling of the dream through your art,
not to literally try to reproduce the dream with its setting and
characters in a work of art. But how does one bridge this gap from
the literal to the feeling aspect?

I am that little soul yearning for expansion....

Thank-you for taking the time to read this e-mail, and to respond if
you are able.

Sincerely,

Emily
California, USA




5
Dream Interpretation / Fingers Growing Out of My Vulva
« on: May 27, 2020, 01:57:23 PM »
Hello there , I came across your page after searching for answers of this weird dream I had today.. You seem to be a dream guru.. I wonder if you could help me? I dreamed that I had fingers growing out of my vulva. They were in pairs, there were about 5-6 pairs growing. I could feel them.. I have no idea where this came from and I wasn’t able to wake up. My eyes were closed but I couldn’t lift my head & I knew at that point I was dreaming. I woke up seeing glimpeses of a gray/black face, I was trying to get my eyesight correct but by then the face had faded away.. I just don’t know why did I have such a disgusting dream? I’ve tried googling everything but nothing matches my experience.. any help will be so much help.. thank u

I’d thought I’d add that these hands , these hands were hands of someone very very old.. Pyt
 

6
Questions about dreams / What Happens When We Die?
« on: May 05, 2020, 10:56:34 AM »
Links to main sections: Memory of Past Life – What Happens When I Die? – People’s Experience of Dying – It Isn’t So Difficult To Be in Touch With Our Dead
What do you think happens after our bodies die? Do we become unconscious and non-existent any more? Do we go to “heaven”? Do we reincarnate?

I personally think we reincarnate and learn new things in each new life, but am wondering what you all think and if any of your OBEs or lucid dreams have altered your original view of what you think occurs after our bodies die? – Mithokey

Mithokey – Yes I know we do reincarnate – but I think my thoughts on this are seen better in http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/reincarnation-and-dreams/ And in http://dreamhawk.com/interesting-people/rudolph-steiners-philosophy-of-life-and-death/ and also in http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/near-death-experiences/

 You asked whether my recent experiences have altered my views. Well yes, they have been deepened. Here is something I experienced, not in a dream but while awake.

I started by imagining myself standing in the shadows of The House of the Ancestors – a great dream I experienced.  Then we walked together into the darkness.  The subjective images took on a life of their own and I saw we were walking in a large underground space like great catacombs.  The light was dim but we could see our surroundings, and not very far into the cave like space was a tomb on our right.  It had the form of a low wall about a foot high in an oblong, and the wall surrounded a long stone in the centre, which was roughly body shaped.

As we drew level with the tomb an enormous change occurred in me.  Suddenly I became a woman.  It was no longer imagination.  I was now completely experiencing myself as a woman whose tomb we had approached.  As such I was torn by an immense pain of loss.  As my complete identification deepened my body curled up with the pain as I was torn by wretched crying.  Suzanne told me my voice changed as I cried out again and again for release from the pain of losing all my children, my husband, even my parents.  My hands were clawing my legs in an effort to express the misery, and I was screaming that I could not bear to live any longer with such pain.  I cried out to God to take me, for there was nothing left for me to live for.  “Why?  Why did this happen to me?  Why has everything I loved been taken from me?”

There was no response to these awful cries and tearing sobs.  But slowly a shift began.  It seemed to me as an observer witnessing this awful pain that by entering this place the spirit of that woman had woken in me.  But as she had died in such unresolved agony of loss, that is what was met when she was awoken.  But gradually she realised she was alive again in a new way.  She began to recognise that I was holding her within me.  Because I was not frightened of pain and emotions, the misery could play itself out in me.  And because my understanding of what was happening flowed into her awareness, she slowly saw and felt her loss in a different way.  In fact, we were both realising she was experiencing resurrection as she was now aware pf being apart of my consciousness, and that in turn meant there was no final death as believed by many.  Therefore, there was no loss as she had originally felt it.

At this point, something truly incredible occurred.  She and I both realised she was one of my past dwelling places.  But for her the viewpoint was slightly different; for she saw me as a continuation of a life that she had failed to be a part of because of the awful pain of loss. It had kept her from flowing into what was her future as part of my life.

From my perspective, she was one of the past dwelling places the spirit that was at the core of my present personality had lived in as her.  She was not one of my lives, because the personality that I am was unique and had not lived that woman’s life, but my spirit had. Because she was now part of me and me of her I asked her what she had brought into my life. Her reply was, “A woman’s love”.

But it is worth remembering that a single cell, which is a seed from which all life forms evolved from, doesn’t become old or die because it is immortal, for it keeps dividing and doesn’t die. In dividing it constantly creates copies of itself, but as it does  so it gathers new experience, it changes what is copied, so becomes the ‘seed’ for multi-cellular organism. We all started from the original one cell, and we, you and I,  are the result of gathered experience.

So no plant or creature grows from a dead seed, and each living seed carries within it all the past gathered from all its forebears. So, the seed in your mother’s womb was as old as and even older than human kind, and you carry that wisdom or memories in you. But in this life you developed a new brain, and the memories, education and programming you gathered this time are what you built your personality from, but beneath that is a very ancient self. To explore it see https://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/opening-to-life/

 What Happens When I Die?
A huge mistake many people make when considering death is that they are certain the body is them. We have been taught that the basic part of us is atoms. So as such we were just physical bodies, with a physical brain, and of course as a physical body we know it can be destroyed or die. But in 1900 an amazing new science was born. It said that our basic being is not atoms but sub- atomic-particles, and that questioned much of past statements.

For example light was thought as the fastest one could achieve; but the sub-atomic-particles were seen to be everywhere at once. Also it was seen that a human observer could change the sub-atomic-particles, suggesting that we in some way create the world around us. Also the term quantum ghosts was defined, because quantum phenomena can pass through any solid object – just as we can do when experiencing a so called out of body experience. The implications of the theorem are enormous. Something can be in two places at once. Apparently distant objects, or people, are intricately linked in an immediate way. There is no separate existence as we previously thought. Our view of the world is not one supported by the facts of physics. Time and space are transcended. David Bohm, an eminent physicist, goes as far as to say that all things in our observable universe are inextricable linked. Nothing has separate existence.

Death of the body occurs when the body is badly injured, has suffered a bad illness or is dying from old age and so cannot support the intricacies of consciousness, then consciousness can longer function in the body. Consciousness, from what I now understand it to be, was never fully in the body so never left it. That because consciousness exists at another dimension and so simply uses the body, acts through the brain and nervous system to gain experience of the three dimensional world and its joys, pains and difficulties. And because we see life and death mostly through our three dimension view we believe we ‘leave’ our body in so called ‘out of body experiences’. As I say, simply a three dimensional view.

To quote the recent view of quantum physics, “This suggests that the fundamental particles of our body exist beyond time and space, and if a dream touches this level then it expresses a very different experience of time. Yet we still hear scientists talking about the boundary of  the speed of light. This difficulty in crossing the boundary of knowing into the unknown is a sort of general blindness most of us suffer. The implications of the theorem are enormous. Something can be in two places or conditions at once. Apparently distant objects, or people, are intricately linked in an immediate way. There is no separate existence as we previously thought.”

After the death of the body you are now fully in the dimension of the dream. As such you experience, as in dreams, surroundings and people and animals that appear as external and solid. You will usually see yourself in the body you experienced in the last life, but it may be younger without any illness, and you may feel as if you have woken for the first time because your mind, your awareness, is super alert. Also, sometimes, people who had never known that you survive after your body has died feel as if they are still alive in a body, and create dreams in which those people they know that are still alive in their body are visible to them, but because the living people cannot see or respond to them,which slowly leads the dead person to gradually realises a huge change has happened to them.

We are in the dream world because our physical life is now gone and so we are left with our consciousness – no body. When we lose awareness of our body in sleep we dream. because dreams are the next level of consciousness we have developed apart from our body senses, unless we have done so in other ways. We actually have a huge range of levels of awareness, the swing between waking and sleeping can be seen as the extremes within the possibilities of our experience. For in waking awareness we have the sense of being in a body with only  a small range of perception, and feel we exist as an individual. But in sleep, apart from dreams we now longer are aware of being an individual with a body, but are  a bodiless consciousness. See Dimensions of Human Experience – Bodiless

Are you a stranger in a strange world or an experienced traveller?

But usually just after death we often go to the next level we have developed – dream imagery. In this dimension we are in a wider awareness, in this wider awareness you leave the limited view of the three dimensional world most of us are trapped in, and enter a world beyond time and space, but being unused to it we mostly continue as in dreams creating a world we knew in the body. But we are capable of experiencing many other wonders than being trapped either in bodily limitations or bodiless consciousness.

You are a shapeshifter in this realm, and can be any of the characters you know or dreamt of. That is how you get their power and wisdom. The femaleness or maleness we usually feel ourselves to be must not be confused with personality. The conscious personality is a very flexible and shape shifting thing. It can be male, female, animals or any thing, a tree or just Life itself – for here in shapeshifting we can get to know our whole range of experience. See Archetype of the Shapeshifter - https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-shapeshifter/

But maturing into a real shapeshifter is not done by acting it out by trying to be the opposite sex. Integrating our opposite does not mean dressing up in male or female clothes, or even having an operation. That is further developing an unbalanced self. Integration means having both the female and the male self equally developed. That is wholeness. So, being firmly male, female or homosexual are all unbalanced. It takes courage and hard work to achieve the being without form.


7
Hello Tony,

I wonder if you could help me interpret my very weird dream?
I dreamt I met my dead grandfather (whom I never met in real life)

Without a word he took of his penis and handed it to me. That was it!
I never actually looked at it but was handed it?
Many thanks - A

8
Anxiety is a normal part of life, except as humans we do not deal with it well. I have some bird feeders outside the window where I sit and write, and all the time the birds are looking everywhere even between pecks. In humans it would be a sign of great anxiety. They do not suffer the negative effects of anxiety because they express it all the time in their actions. As human we tend to bottle it all up or are frightened of it.

Your love and care for your child or children can trigger your mothering instincts with a vengeance. Being female and a mother holds with it an enormously increased anxiety about your children. You see all manner of things that might be a threat, and I believe that is what such dreams show. Your imagination for such dangers is enormously increased. This is natural in all mammals, and acts as a warning making you aware. It helps to check whether your child or children are okay, and if they are, say to the part of you that is worried, “It’s okay, I checked, but thanks for keeping me on my toes, you can relax now.”

When my son Leon was working for a year prior to entering Cambridge University, he met people who owned wolfhounds, and often walked the dogs. I went with him a couple of times. The dogs were kept in a large pen, and owner went to get the keys for the pen. While we were waiting at the door one of the dogs, a bitch, was kept in the house.

The bitch came to the door to look at us, then ran back, only to reappear again a few moments later to look at us anxiously. This was repeated a few times. I asked my son if she had pups and he said yes. So as soon as she saw we were strangers she rushed back to her pups to check they were okay. Then, for the short period we were there she continued to come and look at us with obvious tension, and then run back to check her pups.

This is most likely about your anxiety about caring for your baby, or it might also have a link with feelings you have about something that happened to you as a baby. It might help if you imagine yourself in your dream – while awake – and hold the baby and see if you can change what happens to your baby, hold the baby till it is okay and healthy. You might need to do this a number of times to succeed. See Secrets of Power Dreaming

Example: Hello, I am a single mom. My son Just turned 7 two days ago. I have had numerous dreams where he has died or the dream will be as of I can’t find him. I Just had a dream about my son and he was playing with some friends and one of them knocked at my door and said that my son was going to die. This woke me straight up out of my sleep. My son gets to the point now to where he wants to be independent at times and I try to tell him he can’t do the things he sees other big kids doing because he’s still so small. I am so protective of my son and don’t want to lose him. I wish I could stop having these dreams where he’s dead, or dies,or I Just simply lose sight of him in my dreams. I worry about him all the time when he’s not with me. What can I do.

And here is Anna’s reply: What I have found helpful with my children is to become more creative with this process. Often our fears make that we only see what could go wrong and it makes that we respond to any request with “you cannot do the things you see other big kids doing because you are still so small” and with that approach we have also sealed the door to any alternative. And so I learned to negotiate with myself and with my son. There is always room to find something your son CAN do, which will bring him one step closer to what he sees other kids are doing, without him going “all the way yet”. Sometimes this implies that he has to practice certain things first with you, before you can trust him to do it on his own.

9
Dream Interpretation / Chasing Someone for a Bag of Money
« on: April 09, 2020, 11:58:52 AM »
Hello, I just woke up from a dream and it's 4 am. I dreamt that I was chasing someone for a bag of money that had been stolen, then my grandma and I arrive at an airport where she buys lots of soap bars, this is normal since she loves them. On the other side people are in a line to get on the planes going to S.A. which I have no idea what it means. The plane before ours takes off and without getting far, crashes on the water and a guy with a gun starts shooting at everyone. My grandma and I try to hide but ends up shooting us. What does this mean, please help I'm worried. Yuliet Aira

10
Healing Dreams / The Amazing Book
« on: April 01, 2020, 01:40:22 PM »
This morning at about 3am I was woken by an amazing dream, probably one of the most amazing dreams of my life. It started while I was asleep. I was in a spare piece of ground which was on the corner of a walk I lived in after the war. It had been a house but now I knew it was flat and slightly overgrown. There were stairs leading down to what must have been a basement. But I, with indeterminate sex, was sitting in the middle of this place with several others in the area. It was somewhat private as my memory is that it had a twelve foot wooden fence around it.
    
I was sitting with a great book in my lap, and I knew or was informed in some way that the book was special as only a few were available, and I had the book through an amazing sequence of coincidences. In fact the book had been promised to a man for his birthday, but had given up his right to it when he found out I had requested it or sought it.
 
At first I didn’t know much about the book, but was constantly informed by an immediate intuition what I should do with the book. I had it open to a page and I was told that I could go in any direction, so I took one of the sentences in the book and said it – I want that. And now as a woman I admitted to myself that I wanted to have sex with a very attractive young man who was looking at me. I had only just thought this when the young man, seeing my interest in the book, came over and we started talking. Subsequently we did have sex.
 
And that was my introduction to the  power of the book. At this point I began to wake and a very distinct voice spoke to me telling me that I could follow the directions or suggestions in the book, or choose to strike out in any new direction by making a decision to do so. Or if I was uncertain then I could stick my index fingernail into the edge of the closed pages and open the book at random page. He told me that this might be difficult because the book had not been used and it needed effort to pull the book open to each new page; not that I had any awareness of it.
 
At this point the man who was instructing me became very real to me although an invisible presence. I started to think and visualise what I would like to do. I saw myself walking up to a stranger and asking them if I could talk with them for a while, explaining that it was because of an unusual dream I had experienced. But then I realised the power of the book and thought I would like others to be able to use it.
 
After I had made that decision the man now told me – I was now a man – that he would give me the book. It seemed necessary and he asked me to hold my hands ready and he put it in my hands, explaining that this was The Book of Life – my life or whoever used the book. He intimated that it was not an external book but in giving it me it had become conscious and I had been in  possession of the book, that in my  own mind could be also called The Book of Decisions. And at some point I was told that if I approached a person or an opportunity and they were not interested or said no, then I should not pester them or keep trying but walk away – unless there is a very different approach that worked.
 
Then all sort of wonderful things happened, although I cannot recall the sequence of them. For instance he said that I had made a choice of my partner, Ros. And the quality of our love that had survived things that many other relationships would have been shipwrecked by anger and bitterness, was a source of great creativeness. Then slowly his voice no longer seemed to an external voice but was a part of my being, a sort of higher awareness. I was directed to ask myself where I had got the book in the first place, and saw myself back in that spare ground standing on the steps down to a basement, running away from my friend Eddie. He had a small chrome plated revolver with at least one live round in it and was pointing it directly at my face. I cannot remember being terribly afraid, but I did feel awful with him pointing a gun at me. And it was then I made a decision – that I wasn’t aware of at the time – that I would never taunt anyone like that. And that decision was a shaping  influence in my life. (The business with the revolver actually happened, though I had forgotten until asked the question).
 
From that a whole sequence of decisions was seen. I saw how I made a decision to stay with my first wife D when another woman came offering to be my partner – and then again when I was asked by S if I wanted to go with her. I decided I couldn’t leave my children. It was a hard learned lesson. And yet when I walked  out on my family with D years later I did it easily – but faced years of terrible guilt. So, the lesson that was learnt was to meet the consequences of the choices, and in meeting the awful pain instead of running away, it always leads to some level of an enlightening experience. Running away presses one deeper into pain that is hidden and can lead to illness.
 
As I was experiencing an overview of my life I could see that who I was had been shaped by the choices I made.
 
I had a distinct feeling that if I presented the book to  others it would bring in a new chapter of my life, with a lot more contact and opportunity. It felt a real dawning after a long night of my  life. In fact it felt like culmination of my life.
 
I saw that after that we could  live anywhere we chose in a beautiful location with plenty of room. And then came the question I had on my mind for ages – can I ever escape from being trapped in the discipline of working every day to answer all the emails. I was shown the misery I had caused many people in the past, sometimes over lifetimes, and I was assured that the work I am doing is a recompense, a burning out  of that darkness, and when it is finished it will again be a new day dawning.
 
Oh yes – another question on my mind was who am I – what is behind me or my actions. How this came about was that the voice was clear in me – my own inner voice but with much authority and conviction. I had struggled with this question for days, and the voice said to me, “Are you ready to see this?” I answered yes and was told to now wait and watch. And there it was – the darkness, the void that is everything and yet is nothing. And it was explained that I had known it since I was a teenager, and had never fully accepted it – or at least never really understood its place in life. I had always felt it was a far distant thing, not an ever present daily experience. Yet now I could look back on my life, and I realised that we became what we are by our choices. Our choices materialise a potential that is within the darkness. That is a great secret. A secret I had realised many years ago and are still trying to live. See https://dreamhawk.com/uncategorized/things-i-wished-i-had-had-been-taught-earlier-in-my-life/

11

I had a very disturbing dream. I was in a big warehouse and waiting for employees to leave. At first I was talking to employees then I hid so they didn’t know I was still there when they locked up. When the building was empty I went over to my dead body in another room where I began dismembering it… starting with my head. But my head wasn’t just cut off; I sliced it in half with a chainsaw before dismembering the rest. Then I was trying to figure out ways to dispose of my body discretely so no one would find out about it. I was quite shaken when I woke up. I have never had such an awful, disturbing dream.

Rachel


12
Greetings / Dream Incubation
« on: March 10, 2020, 10:15:16 AM »
Tony, I'm taking a course on dream interpretation on-line. It's called Universalclass. I'm on lesson 2 and it's going over the history of dreams and the rituals of "dream incubation". I was thrilled to see they used one of your articles for study. I've often asked very specific questions before going to sleep in hopes for answers In the dream state. I had no idea I was using a version of an ancient ritual. Anyway loved your article and the new perception that my subconscious is my best friend. Thanks!

Debbie

See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/incubating-dreams/ and https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/secrets-power-dreaming/ and https://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/using-your-intuition-1/

13
Dream Interpretation / Heart Racing With Fear
« on: March 09, 2020, 09:23:24 AM »
Kalee
(looking for guidance and someone with a little time to help me on a group of dreams that are all related)

I have had reoccurring dreams of being in an empty, old almost pitch dark house (which the house is always empty and different everytime) Im casting evil spirits away and I’m going into every dark room saging and blessing the home. I have other reoccurring dreams where I’m saying the Lord’s prayer (this time in a sunny home fully furnished but again unfamiliar) and something I can’t see almost squeezes my vocal cords and it won’t allow me to finish the prayer.. that one truly makes me cringe. A similar dream happened weeks later (with the same house/location in the house/sunny light) but instead of feeling like my vocal cords were squeezed I saw an evil mirrored image of myself and we were facing eachother but it was like if I was the entity, I then said in a very evil sinister tone.. “and I’m not even baptised!” I have also had one dream of being awoken by something (this time at home), I get up and start walking towards the bathroom hallway and feeling like my something won’t let me walk and not allowing me to move and in this dream I’m very scared.. creepy that I woke up from this and I was in the exact position as I was in the dream, and had that heart racing with fear.

My question really is are they related somehow? Honestly when I start having bad intense dreams I sage and sleep easier. Should I be worried? Or am I missing something of importance? Just don’t know who to ask, and I cannot seem to find clarification or onsite anywhere. Thanks and God bless!

14
A few years ago I kept a journal religiously, but lost interest and stopped noting my dreams. During a major clean-up this weekend I found my dream diary and was stunned to see many dreams were signs of what followed in my life years after. Most of them at that time didn't make any sense but now I'm quite curious.
Dreamer

15
“It began with a knotted feeling in stomach, went inside myself and found a lump that I had kept deep within that no one could touch or ever has done. I spilt the lump and there appeared two halves of a walnut with a picture of my mother and father in each half as they were when I was a child. As I looked the two halves crumpled into dust. This was the secret I have carried since childhood, that I had parents, unlike the other children in the orphanage, yet the truth was I too was left behind in the orphanage by my parents. The emotions really came to the surface and I really cried. After this wave passed, I was left in a very passive state. I then went into the telephone box that I had dreamt of, and tried to make the call to reconnect, but again another shock, there was nobody to connect with, again the realisation that I was an orphan. Another great wave of emotion tore me apart. I then turned toward the dogs – also in the dream - as they came at me, I began to feel the sickness that I have always experienced in sessions but I just shrugged and let the feeling wash over me. It felt like I have always ended up in hell by that route, and I realised afterwards that hell is hell and will never be anything else.

I felt that there was something deeper and so I kept to a centre line, again there was no feeling and so I turned toward the god dream that I had when Rob was here. The look of total love for me in those eyes gave me the strength to trust my own process. I then went into fantasy, God holding my hand and picking up all the people and events in my life and placing them all together on a stone altar, which he then placed me upon and told me to surrender and allow myself to die. This I did and images of great waterfalls, and molten lava flows filled my being. Then the crisis broke through, and there I was in the kids’ home as my father was leaving. I saw myself, or I should say my being go out to him. I felt that if I loved him, he wouldn’t leave us. I then saw that I was already bonded to my mother and in that moment of transference there was guilt and I was caught in the middle, then he left creating a schism in which was left in my spine with a personality on either side. Schizophrenia is the word to that covers this state about: Schizophrenia a mental disease marked by a breakdown in the relation between thoughts, feelings, and actions, frequently accompanied delusions and retreat from social life. I then felt what I would call the primal scream emerge from my being and then I was through. I then saw the dogs as my anxieties that have taken up two thirds of my being constantly tearing me apart, also saw that as a kid I didn’t have enough information to redirect the energy elsewhere, but now I had taken a step beyond it.”

K

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