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Topics - Leswan

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Dream Interpretation / Debating with Tony Crisp!
« on: November 29, 2011, 10:55:20 AM »
Had to post this one! But before I get into the dream, I'll briefly explain what had happened before finding myself in the dream.

I woke up with sleep paralysis, feeling like an OBE was about to happen but then...

Instead of flowing out of my body which is what I would hope for, I got a harsh pain in my perineum. This pain is now very familiar - 50% of my OBE's are aborted because of it and have been since 2008. It's not a physical pain because as soon as I break out of sleep paralysis, it disappears. It is a metaphysical pain! It sometimes feels like a broom handle is being forced up inside me, about half a foot in length. Anybody any ideas on what this could be? I've wondered about kundalini and maybe the energy is blocked? I have very tight, knotted hamstrings and poor spine flexibility, particularly in the lower back. I'm hoping coex is going to help me with these issues.

Anyway, so all this had happened and I'd broken free of the sleep paralysis such was the discomfort from the perineum pain. I rolled over and went back to sleep. Then the dream kicked in....

I was in a lovely country house. Lots of light. Large windows. I was sat at a medium sized square table fashioned from dark wood. Across from me sat Tony Crisp and to my right sat somebody else who's identity is hidden from me. They may as well have been invisible. They weren't even there and yet I was aware that somebody else was sat there.

Tony and I were discussing dreams and spirituality.

I was making the point that real, waking life is not all that important and should take second place to our non-physical lives and meditation. I was getting quite animated about this point.

Tony smiled and said something about my perspective being unhelpful and challenged me in some way that I can't quite remember now.

I said emphatically to him that real waking life only seems real because it's such a convincing illusion, at which I grabbed the table, rocking it slightly as if to prove my point.

Tony laughed and said something. I woke up and realised that I had been completely sucked into the illusion of the dream and failed to wake up within it - which is what Tony (or my wiser self?) thought was so funny!

Dream Interpretation / OBE to a beautiful place.
« on: November 02, 2011, 02:40:47 PM »
Last night I had my first OBE in ages.

I used a spinning exit technique and fell asleep whilst doing it and whilst repeating "Now I am out of body!".

I awoke with sleep paralysis and allowed myself to flow out.

I descended into a palace. The room that stretched out before me had beautiful marble floors and majestic stone columns. There were luxurious cushions, grand vases and exotic artifacts on display all of which gave this place an air of ancient opulence.

As I floated through this place, 3 small but brightly coloured snakes appeared in front of me. One was red, one was green and I think the other may have been turquoise. When I say they were brightly coloured, I actually mean they had patches of bright colour on them but would have been quite normal otherwise. And these patches of colour were so bright they were luminescent.

As I floated towards them I brushed them aside - I didn't want to touch them. They were aware of me but weren't bothered by my presence or by my aversion.

I floated past and rounded a large u-bend and found myself in a large lounge area that had leather stools. It was a very comfortable and relaxing room, decorated in beige and browns - far more modern than the previous room, but there was nothing to do here.

I didn't understand why I was here. What did this place mean? If this place was a creation of my psyche what did it symbolise and what was my psyche trying to tell me? I tried to dissolve the scenery and go somewhere new but this didn't work. I called out for the symbolism to be redrwan in a different format so that I may understand.

I phased back into my body.

Was the second room my current life? Perfectly pleasant, but a little boring?!

General Discussion / Coex session
« on: October 31, 2011, 12:45:14 PM »
30th October 2011 - Coex Session

Alone in the house, I decided to have a coex session.

As I expected, I found it easy to let go and allow my body to get on with moving in whatever way it wanted. The urge to walk in place was huge and so I allowed this to happen as my eyes closed and my breathing slowed.

I found myself doing some strange movements with my right arm: my right hand moved towards my stomach, wrist twisting so that my fingertips were pointing towards the ceiling. My right hand, followed by my forearm then moved up my chest like a plant growing within me. It was as if my right arm was miming a stem growing from my stomach up through my oesophagus and out of my mouth.

Perhaps this movement was me just playing out the seed exercise, but I didn’t get caught up in the analysis of what this meant or where it had come from. I just allowed it to take place.

Then as my other arm joined it above my head, so that my arms were now stretching out like branches of a tree my legs also pushed out to the side to try and mirror what my arms were doing.

As I began to do the splits, my poor flexibility compromised the movement and my knees bent forward so that I fell forward into a kneeling position, legs spread. I began to bounce up and down and realised that I felt like a woman having sex. This felt weird but incredibly sexual. It felt good. My right hand moved to my imaginary clitoris and my perineum and rubbed. It felt intensely sexual but I wasn’t displaying outward signs of arousal. Without any further warning I needed to walk again, so I stood up and began to walk on the spot.

With eyes closed, I felt myself bend over to the left and this caused me to start walking in anti-clockwise circles. My right hand began hitting my lower back forming a 4/4 beat in time with my steps. My voice began forming low gruff noises that gradually formed a chant. I felt like a deranged American Indian performing some kind of ritual, chanting a bizarre emotive mantra.

This began to get louder and more forceful. The increase in volume was mirrored by an increase in the force with which my right hand was thumping my lower back until I was pounding myself in a craze.

Then, abruptly I stopped walking and hitting myself but the chant continued as if it had a life of its own within me. I felt slightly frightened now.

My arms now reached above my head as if pulling something down towards me in anger. Yes, the fear was replaced by anger. Pulling it into my heart, fists clenched tight hugging this into my chest in rage. And the rage consumed me and the chanting became louder. Each time I pulled down from above, I engaged more of myself in the action until I was jumping in the air as I reached up to to whatever it was I was clasping at and then landing heavily on my feet, squatting down to my haunches and pulling down with all my might, growling the mantra out like a snarling dog.

I did this until I felt as if I was on the verge of losing control - I was exhausted by now, my right shoulder sore from hitting my back, and I lay down on my bed, breathing hard and bewildered at everything that had just happened.

I wonder what would have happened if I had completely lost control?

Dream Interpretation / Mourners at a wedding
« on: October 10, 2011, 11:07:58 AM »
Last night, I dreamt that I was at the wedding of a young woman who had lost a sibling from murder a few years ago. Even though this was a happy occasion, everybody at the wedding carried with them a cloud of grief. I was counselling the bride's mother, telling her to put all her pain in an area of energy that I had created in the space between us, but instead of her crying, it was me that completely broke down.

Grief and sorrow beyond anything I've ever experienced just came pouring out of me as if it were my loss.

After the wedding there was a party and some of the deceased's male relatives sang the weirdest of songs. Like a male voice choir on acid! They were belting it out, putting all of their anger and grief into the song. They were so loud that it almost scared me! One of the men, who I had previously written off as being a bit base in his ways, sang particularly impressively.

The dream felt very very real - the characters were all very 3 dimensional. Nobody seemed aware of my presence other than the bride's mother.

General Discussion / Working in a group
« on: September 13, 2011, 11:57:28 AM »
Hi Tony

At the end of the month I will be hosting a development circle in my home. This was prompted from guidance received in a dream where I was told that energy increases exponentially with each additional sitter and that five would be an optimum number.

In a very natural and almost magical way, some really good people who are interested in these things appeared in my life and five of them who take their development seriously have expressed interest and the first session will be later this month.

After reading one of your articles on Lifestream and how it came about which I found fascinating, I wonder if you have any advice. I'm not used to group work - being a bit of a recluse and favouring alone time and introspection to spending time with friends.


General Discussion / Witnessing ourselves outside of our egoselves
« on: September 08, 2011, 09:11:40 AM »
Hi Guys,

Last year I went through, or rather put myself, my family and a loved one through some awful emotional trauma. By Christmas 2010, some degree of normality had returned to all our lives and by Spring, the dust had settled fully.

In May, June, July I suffered a chain of illness - a bout of flu, a few weeks later severe tonsillitis and then a week or so after that, a chronic infection in my right testicle which led to me being hospitalised and nearly losing it!!!

I'm 32 and not in too bad shape, so to have all this illness was not something I was expecting! The docs suggested that it may have been glandular fever and whilst it may have been, I couldn't help wonder whether there was more to this period of illness.

So, upon returning from hospital and during the days off work recuperating that followed, I asked before going to sleep to be shown how to heal my self.

One night I fell to sleep pretty quickly - as I always do, but awoke within a fairly mundane dream where I was in a bedroom that I identified as my own, but which looked nothing like any of the bedrooms I've had in this life. Within the dream, I lay down on the bed and willed myself to have an out of body experience (I find it's easy to convert a lucid dream to an OBE and don't actually think there's much difference between the two).

I immediately accelerated into the abyss, guided by an unseen intelligence and found myself hovering over my body.
This wasn't my physical body - it had no blemishes, moles, spots or scars. I suspect it was my emotional body and it was writhing around in agony beneath me. I was able to touch this aspect of myself with my non-physical hands but I didn't know specifically how to administer healing to it. I felt that I was out of my depth, so I just stroked it, trying to soothe it, but it appeared completely unaware of my presence. It didn't even appear to have self awareness. It just lay there rocking back and forth clutching on to itself in anguish.

It was a fascinating experience even if it has left me with more questions than answers.

General Discussion / Healing dream
« on: August 24, 2011, 11:12:26 AM »
I had this dream a few nights ago. It followed two OBE's - my first for some months, so I was very happy indeed!

I had a dream of being in a room with a woman dressed in white. She was old yet ageless, and she stood in front of me coaxing movements out of me. It was almost as if she were teaching me to dance!

I was embarrassed that she could read my thoughts about her - some of them were sexual (I suppose if I'm being honest, in all interactions I have with women there is a brief and automatic consideration of their sex appeal). She was very serene and loving. This technique worked and as my right arm shot upwards I felt a release of emotion and began to cry uncontrollably.

Greetings / Hello!
« on: August 18, 2011, 12:11:00 PM »
Hello everybody.

My name is Matt.

I stumbled across this website a couple of days ago and have been blown away by reading Tony's biography. What a rich life. What beautiful teaching soul he is. Above all, I perceive sincerity and humility and am looking forward to reading some of his books in the not too distant future.

A bit about me. At age 26 (6 years ago) I had a spontaneous out of body experience which fundamentally changed me. At that time I was a materialist, a narcissist and nihilist (is that enough 'ists'?!!). I wasn't a bad person, but was just caught up in mainstream society.

I went on to have many OBE's and have had quite a time of self discovery over the past few years.

I have precognitive dreams and I often have 'lessons' in dreamstate about things like healing, the physical universe and our solar system and even bible study groups!!

In OBE state I have experienced a few 'soul retrievals' and some exorcisms which were quite disturbing.

I have been keeping a detailed journal since 2006.

I deeply desire to develop more, particularly in areas of healing and would very much like to be of service in some way to my fellow human beings and also to Mother Earth and all her creatures.

In 2007 I qualified as a hypnotherapist with IAPH, although I haven't practiced, partly because my concept of reality is not wholly compatible with their guidelines. I am fascinated by psychology and psychotherapy.

That's probably enough for now.  ;D

I look forward to engaging with you all soon.


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