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Messages - Tony Crisp

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1
Dream Interpretation / Re: Chasing Someone for a Bag of Money
« on: Yesterday at 01:24:11 PM »
Yuliet – Your dream turned the tables on you. In its loving efforts the process of Life gathers the fragments of our memory and associations and forms dreams with them. It does this in its efforts to instruct, guide and even heal us; but often we miss seeing that just as Life reaches to us from its vastness using things we might understand, we too must reach beyond our often pitiful understanding to move toward and touch the wonder of Life within us.

The second - or really fourth dimension - often called the dream or inner world, is totally different and is experienced in dreams or deep levels of our mind/consciousness. It will surprise many people to realise that in this dimension you have no physical body - the body is not needed - although most people are so locked into thinking that their reality is their body, that they create a body image of themselves. See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/dimensions-of-human-experience/

But whenever we dream its images are not like real life, because a dream is nothing like outer life where things could hurt you, but is an image like on a cinema screen, so that even if a gun is pointed at you and fired it can do no damage – except if you run in fear; so, all the things that scare you are simply your own fears projected onto the screen of your sleeping mind. In the early days of moving pictures, a film was shown of a train coming fast toward them; the viewers all fled in terror, fearing the train would crush them. That is exactly the same response if you are terrified of anything you dream of.

As dreams are almost a 100% about what is taking place in yourself, your mind and emotions, your chasing someone for a bag of money that was stolen may mean that you have mistakenly taken form someone else the view that money is the important thing you are after. But your grandma who represents maybe an older and wiser part of you is more interested in soap, that is an attempt to come clean, to be rid of guilt or conscience or something that makes you feel grubby.

I don’t know what you associate with S.A. but the shooting is something you do to yourself. The angry or negative feelings are things that shoot out of us – As you sow so shall you receive.

Examples – The only way I can describe what happened is to say that I was lucid and wandering around a big and dark building. I realised this meant I was exploring the dungeons of myself. I didn’t know where I was going, but was led into a dark cellar, and there, curled up, was a little boy. I was deeply shocked, because I realised this child had been locked in here alone for years. I tried to get near but he shouted to me, ‘I don’t want anybody near me. I’m dangerous. Keep away.’ Being awake to what is happening, I realise this is myself, and hurt as a young boy, and trapped in the misery I felt then. I know too that his being ‘dangerous’ is a defence against being hurt again. So I say to him, ‘How old are you, little dangerous being?’ He says, ‘I’m three. I’m only little. But I’m dangerous. I will KILL YOU if you get near me. I’ll bite you or something.’
 
There followed a back and forth communication too long to report. But gradually I gained the child’s trust and the boy came into my arms. In this way I recovered a precious part of myself and became more whole. So this sort of healing, with oneself or someone else, has to do with the gradual development of a caring and trusting relationship through which real change can be affected.

I give that example because it is not about denying anything, because such denial would be a denial of a hurt part of you. That small me had been trapped in his misery and vengefulness for about 35 years of my life. Also it shows an adult relationship with awful parts of one's life. Buy the adult understanding of the child and the ease of facing its rejections didn’t come easy. At first you have to deal with the fears and misunderstanding of what dreams are and how to meet their extremes.

Tony

2
Dream Interpretation / Chasing Someone for a Bag of Money
« on: Yesterday at 11:58:52 AM »
Hello, I just woke up from a dream and it's 4 am. I dreamt that I was chasing someone for a bag of money that had been stolen, then my grandma and I arrive at an airport where she buys lots of soap bars, this is normal since she loves them. On the other side people are in a line to get on the planes going to S.A. which I have no idea what it means. The plane before ours takes off and without getting far, crashes on the water and a guy with a gun starts shooting at everyone. My grandma and I try to hide but ends up shooting us. What does this mean, please help I'm worried. Yuliet Aira

3
Healing Dreams / The Amazing Book
« on: April 01, 2020, 01:40:22 PM »
This morning at about 3am I was woken by an amazing dream, probably one of the most amazing dreams of my life. It started while I was asleep. I was in a spare piece of ground which was on the corner of a walk I lived in after the war. It had been a house but now I knew it was flat and slightly overgrown. There were stairs leading down to what must have been a basement. But I, with indeterminate sex, was sitting in the middle of this place with several others in the area. It was somewhat private as my memory is that it had a twelve foot wooden fence around it.
    
I was sitting with a great book in my lap, and I knew or was informed in some way that the book was special as only a few were available, and I had the book through an amazing sequence of coincidences. In fact the book had been promised to a man for his birthday, but had given up his right to it when he found out I had requested it or sought it.
 
At first I didn’t know much about the book, but was constantly informed by an immediate intuition what I should do with the book. I had it open to a page and I was told that I could go in any direction, so I took one of the sentences in the book and said it – I want that. And now as a woman I admitted to myself that I wanted to have sex with a very attractive young man who was looking at me. I had only just thought this when the young man, seeing my interest in the book, came over and we started talking. Subsequently we did have sex.
 
And that was my introduction to the  power of the book. At this point I began to wake and a very distinct voice spoke to me telling me that I could follow the directions or suggestions in the book, or choose to strike out in any new direction by making a decision to do so. Or if I was uncertain then I could stick my index fingernail into the edge of the closed pages and open the book at random page. He told me that this might be difficult because the book had not been used and it needed effort to pull the book open to each new page; not that I had any awareness of it.
 
At this point the man who was instructing me became very real to me although an invisible presence. I started to think and visualise what I would like to do. I saw myself walking up to a stranger and asking them if I could talk with them for a while, explaining that it was because of an unusual dream I had experienced. But then I realised the power of the book and thought I would like others to be able to use it.
 
After I had made that decision the man now told me – I was now a man – that he would give me the book. It seemed necessary and he asked me to hold my hands ready and he put it in my hands, explaining that this was The Book of Life – my life or whoever used the book. He intimated that it was not an external book but in giving it me it had become conscious and I had been in  possession of the book, that in my  own mind could be also called The Book of Decisions. And at some point I was told that if I approached a person or an opportunity and they were not interested or said no, then I should not pester them or keep trying but walk away – unless there is a very different approach that worked.
 
Then all sort of wonderful things happened, although I cannot recall the sequence of them. For instance he said that I had made a choice of my partner, Ros. And the quality of our love that had survived things that many other relationships would have been shipwrecked by anger and bitterness, was a source of great creativeness. Then slowly his voice no longer seemed to an external voice but was a part of my being, a sort of higher awareness. I was directed to ask myself where I had got the book in the first place, and saw myself back in that spare ground standing on the steps down to a basement, running away from my friend Eddie. He had a small chrome plated revolver with at least one live round in it and was pointing it directly at my face. I cannot remember being terribly afraid, but I did feel awful with him pointing a gun at me. And it was then I made a decision – that I wasn’t aware of at the time – that I would never taunt anyone like that. And that decision was a shaping  influence in my life. (The business with the revolver actually happened, though I had forgotten until asked the question).
 
From that a whole sequence of decisions was seen. I saw how I made a decision to stay with my first wife D when another woman came offering to be my partner – and then again when I was asked by S if I wanted to go with her. I decided I couldn’t leave my children. It was a hard learned lesson. And yet when I walked  out on my family with D years later I did it easily – but faced years of terrible guilt. So, the lesson that was learnt was to meet the consequences of the choices, and in meeting the awful pain instead of running away, it always leads to some level of an enlightening experience. Running away presses one deeper into pain that is hidden and can lead to illness.
 
As I was experiencing an overview of my life I could see that who I was had been shaped by the choices I made.
 
I had a distinct feeling that if I presented the book to  others it would bring in a new chapter of my life, with a lot more contact and opportunity. It felt a real dawning after a long night of my  life. In fact it felt like culmination of my life.
 
I saw that after that we could  live anywhere we chose in a beautiful location with plenty of room. And then came the question I had on my mind for ages – can I ever escape from being trapped in the discipline of working every day to answer all the emails. I was shown the misery I had caused many people in the past, sometimes over lifetimes, and I was assured that the work I am doing is a recompense, a burning out  of that darkness, and when it is finished it will again be a new day dawning.
 
Oh yes – another question on my mind was who am I – what is behind me or my actions. How this came about was that the voice was clear in me – my own inner voice but with much authority and conviction. I had struggled with this question for days, and the voice said to me, “Are you ready to see this?” I answered yes and was told to now wait and watch. And there it was – the darkness, the void that is everything and yet is nothing. And it was explained that I had known it since I was a teenager, and had never fully accepted it – or at least never really understood its place in life. I had always felt it was a far distant thing, not an ever present daily experience. Yet now I could look back on my life, and I realised that we became what we are by our choices. Our choices materialise a potential that is within the darkness. That is a great secret. A secret I had realised many years ago and are still trying to live. See https://dreamhawk.com/uncategorized/things-i-wished-i-had-had-been-taught-earlier-in-my-life/

4
Dream Interpretation / Re: Bossy woman and crystals
« on: April 01, 2020, 10:27:11 AM »
Omega - Thanks for such a clear assesment of therapists. I have had problems with them for ages.

I have written about aspects of this in The Therapist Practitioner Client Dilemma - https://dreamhawk.com/health-and-healing/the-therapist-practitioner-client-dilemma/

Of course some practitioners have gone the whole distance as Jung did and from them I have tried to stand upon their shoulders. But no matter what their background you must not be taken in. While teaching a group of people in Greece the Peer method of understanding ones dreams, a method that does not require anyone to have any psychological understanding, a woman at the end came to me. She said. "I am a Jungian psychotherapist and I am fed up with my colleagues tearing me and my dreams apart. So I am returning to London and am going to use this method of the Peer Dream Group." See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/peer-dream-work/

Tony

5
Dream Interpretation / Re: wildcat attack
« on: March 31, 2020, 12:26:19 PM »
Thanks Anna - Aranlass - You have lived and taken seriously that anything wild can be dangerous and you have an inbuilt reaction to protect what you feel at ease with. But in dreams or in waking when you think of your cat do you honestly think an image of it is IT. It is only a thought and a word /sound you have been programmed to  call CAT. But cats are the most wild pets we can own. You don't have to take your cat out for a walk because it is so independent/wild.

And anyway every dream image  symbolises something else. The image of your tame cat represent your associations  - As an example I was recently asked by a man who had given no thought to dreams how on earth you could extract any meaning from them. He was wearing a fairly old T-shirt, so I said, “OK, let’s imagine you dreamt of your T-shirt, what would you make of that?”

After a while he said, “I don’t know that I would make anything of it.”

My response was to say, “Right, but now tell me where you bought the T-shirt, and what memories it has for you.” Whereupon he told me, with some hesitation his memories of being in the USA, and that the shirt was part of memories that he didn’t want to talk about. Not only did he realise he had very powerful associations with the T-Shirt, but he wanted to hide them. I felt he had maybe had an affair while in the US.

So it is not trying to attack your pet cat but trying to replace your ideas of being a tame woman with the realisation you have the natural within you. Try letting it out.

It took me ages to answer because I was putting togther https://dreamhawk.com/uncategorized/things-i-wished-i-had-had-been-taught-earlier-in-my-life/

Tony

6
Dream Interpretation / Re: Heart Racing With Fear
« on: March 15, 2020, 11:24:47 AM »
Kalee – First of all saging and saying the Lords prayer. Here is an example from a man facing terror.

"While dreaming, the sound of a door creaking open made me sit up. Then from behind me two black men who looked as if they had risen out of a grave with flesh peeling off them approached me. I quickly made the sign of the cross and said some sort of holy words and the figures disappeared. I lay back again thinking it was a good thing I knew how to get rid of them. But as soon as I settled to sleep again the door creaked open and the two figures appeared once more. This time all my hand waving and words had no effect on their advance, and their hands closed around my throat and I woke screaming in terror. My wife, feeling my fear, got up and we switched on all the lights."

First of all I have found that saging and prayers sometimes give you more confidence and courage in dealing with your own emotions. It is your own feelings that are the power to help or lead to terror not the smoke or the prayer.

The figures rising from the grave were not trying to haunt or harm him but were trying to show him what he had done to himself, they were also showing him the centre of his problems were in his throat. For years he had fought a battle against himself, against a part of him he was convinced was evil and was repressing his sexual feelings. These had been so repressed and buried that they truly were trying to climb out of the grave he had created for them. His neck was his means of communicating, which also was repressed causing him a neck tension. Slowly he learned to meet the great fears that had led to his situation and the men were no longer rotting in their grave.

Your casting out evil sprits is obviously doing no good because it is not working. I guess you were reared in a religious atmosphere and the beliefs you absorbed have been passed on so many time they have lost the real ability to help you.

The inner world ancient people’s lived in was one filled with spirits and demons, gods and goddesses, good and evil forces. The many intangibles they were surrounded by, the immense uncertainties they faced, were quite usefully called spirits – invisible/mysterious yet potent powers that could act upon one for good or ill.
Spirits were invisible forces that could influence you or kill you. Today we call these same invisible forces bacteria or viruses and have ways to deal with them. But unfortunately we have taken the word spirits too often to mean something evil can hurt us. We can see that in the past we were attacked by illness/ bad spirits, but today’s evil spirits we haven’t yet recognised as our own huge anxieties, illness creating fears, stresses, emotional disasters in love, as the great evils that are attacking us.
But this view should not be seen as superstitious or from ignorance. The words devil and spirit simply meant an unseen and powerful force. Before the invention of the microscope disease was in fact an ‘unseen force’ that could kill you. The devil was a destructive force and spirits could be helpful or destructive. We discovered that people could be helped or even healed by what we now call placebos. The magic rituals and amulets were just that.
 
So you are not even baptised- perhaps a new view of baptism might help. We all have a small awareness of the universal life and consciousness that pervades all things. It is an expression of the Mystery that we can perhaps never understand, which Life is. Baptism represents a conscious opening or an introduction to that Life. It is an experience of that Life flowing into and through us. It is also an entrance into the recognition of the wider family; of that mysterious body we call Christ. We become brothers and sisters in a wider community. It takes some skill to recognise who these brothers and sisters are, and what part they might play in our life. Calling yourself a Christian does not necessarily mean you have been truly baptised in that spirit of life and love. In fact you might still be imprisoned by attitudes of class, creed, skin colour or gender.

Fundamentally baptism means a change in the stance or condition of your inner attitudes. It means relinquishing fixed opinions and having an open mind. It means opening the doors of your being to new experiences, to new possibilities, pleasurable and painful. It means learning to love without bending others to your will, without grasping them for your own needs. It also means becoming a channel for that river of Life to flow through. This path does not dangle a carrot of eternal bliss, or the resolution of all human problems. “I come”, that flow of Life in us says, “not to bring peace, but a sword…. take up your cross and follow me.” What is offered is participation in everyday life and death in a new way. We can become workers in the vineyard – that is, co-workers with the processes of growth and evolution in the worlds of nature.

Example: For some time I had been earnestly surrendering my life to the action of God by offering my body and mind in any way. I was feeling very ill and depressed at the time, and longed for healing, but could feel no definite change. Nevertheless I sat every day with a ‘waiting’ or ‘open’ attitude. I deeply pondered the question of how the action of God showed itself. Maybe I wasn’t aware of it. But I had noticed that while I slept my body experienced a subtle vibration, like you feel when you put your fingers on a smooth running electric motor; even my wife could feel it if she touched my body. But I could observe no changes in myself from this. It felt like a river of energy was flowing through me, like baptism.

Then one night, B., my wife, got out of bed because the baby was crying. When she had settled I got up and went to the toilet. Just as I was getting into bed again I heard a voice speaking to me. Literally a loud voice came from everywhere around me. It said, “You have asked how God touches the human soul – now watch closely.” This was an extraordinary thing to experience, and waiting for sleep to overtake me again I had a mood of expectation, waiting for something to be shown me. Two days later I was massively plunge into the inner workings of the spirit. See https://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/lifes-little-secrets/#WatchClosely

Tony

7
Rachel – Awful dreams are ones that have powerful messages that are life changing.

But to find what life changes you need explore use http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson

The big warehouse is depicting a part of your mind or consciousness where memories; past experience and aspects of yourself are put in storage, especially things that you do not want you or people to find out about. You have been carefully hiding what you have done to yourself.

Your hiding shows that you do not want anybody to realise that you have killed yourself and want to get rid of the evidence – i.e. for even you to realise.

Slicing your head in half shows that you have split yourself in two because of what you have done to yourself. Don’t get panicky about it; many, many people have killed an important part of themselves. I dreamt I was carrying a bag with my dismembered body, and I had the skinned and separated head in my other hand.

Example: I felt really guilty and connected with the dead body, as if I had been part of his murder, and was wondering frantically what I could do to hide or get rid of the body. Part of the problem was that pulling it out risked being seen with it. In ‘being’ the body in the dream I said, “But it wasn’t until I got into the role of the dead body that any depth of feelings emerged. Almost as soon as I was in the role of the dead body I began to think about and feel things connected with the way I had killed my sexuality as a teenager.

So if you imagine yourself as the dead body, what part of yourself have you killed and now denied? It can be anything like your creativity, your love for someone, or something that was killed when young by criticism or judgements.

Tony

8

I had a very disturbing dream. I was in a big warehouse and waiting for employees to leave. At first I was talking to employees then I hid so they didn’t know I was still there when they locked up. When the building was empty I went over to my dead body in another room where I began dismembering it… starting with my head. But my head wasn’t just cut off; I sliced it in half with a chainsaw before dismembering the rest. Then I was trying to figure out ways to dispose of my body discretely so no one would find out about it. I was quite shaken when I woke up. I have never had such an awful, disturbing dream.

Rachel


9
Greetings / Dream Incubation
« on: March 10, 2020, 10:15:16 AM »
Tony, I'm taking a course on dream interpretation on-line. It's called Universalclass. I'm on lesson 2 and it's going over the history of dreams and the rituals of "dream incubation". I was thrilled to see they used one of your articles for study. I've often asked very specific questions before going to sleep in hopes for answers In the dream state. I had no idea I was using a version of an ancient ritual. Anyway loved your article and the new perception that my subconscious is my best friend. Thanks!

Debbie

See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/incubating-dreams/ and https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/secrets-power-dreaming/ and https://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/using-your-intuition-1/

10
Dream Interpretation / Heart Racing With Fear
« on: March 09, 2020, 09:23:24 AM »
Kalee
(looking for guidance and someone with a little time to help me on a group of dreams that are all related)

I have had reoccurring dreams of being in an empty, old almost pitch dark house (which the house is always empty and different everytime) Im casting evil spirits away and I’m going into every dark room saging and blessing the home. I have other reoccurring dreams where I’m saying the Lord’s prayer (this time in a sunny home fully furnished but again unfamiliar) and something I can’t see almost squeezes my vocal cords and it won’t allow me to finish the prayer.. that one truly makes me cringe. A similar dream happened weeks later (with the same house/location in the house/sunny light) but instead of feeling like my vocal cords were squeezed I saw an evil mirrored image of myself and we were facing eachother but it was like if I was the entity, I then said in a very evil sinister tone.. “and I’m not even baptised!” I have also had one dream of being awoken by something (this time at home), I get up and start walking towards the bathroom hallway and feeling like my something won’t let me walk and not allowing me to move and in this dream I’m very scared.. creepy that I woke up from this and I was in the exact position as I was in the dream, and had that heart racing with fear.

My question really is are they related somehow? Honestly when I start having bad intense dreams I sage and sleep easier. Should I be worried? Or am I missing something of importance? Just don’t know who to ask, and I cannot seem to find clarification or onsite anywhere. Thanks and God bless!

11
Dream Interpretation / Re: A Series of Dreams
« on: March 07, 2020, 11:55:23 AM »
Romanov - I wish I could transfer some pf my life experiences that show ways through such bad places. Unfortunately I only have words.

But the dreams abot dreams about shipwrecks, car getting out of control, catching fire and turning into ashes in a couple of seconds - all are clear pictures - not of awful things, but messes you have ceated that can change.

We can work through the feelings. Here is an example: 

I dreamt was at a very large school. Looking around I came to a large gymnasium. Near the end where I stood was a diving board, about 20ft. off the ground. Girls were learning to dive off the board and land flat on their back on the floor. If they landed flat they didn't hurt themselves - like falling backwards standing up. I was sure they would hurt themselves and it was difficult to watch.  

This was dreamt by Des, a man in his forties. If we look at the themes we can see that it shows a learning situation for the man, indicated by the school. Although Des doesn’t put this into words, he is in the role of a spectator, so is observing something that he can learn from. He is witnessing something that he finds disturbing, and as we read it, sounds risky. The girls are in fact taking a risk, but learning to do so in a way that hopefully does not damage them.  

If we shorten this we can say the dream is about learning something linked with risk taking, about how that might be done without harm.  

This become clearer when we realise that Des had recently changed from being an employee to becoming self-employed. He was feeling a lot of anxiety about where his next week’s income was coming from, and how long he could last living in this new way.  

We explored his dream and he experienced the diving board as depicting the big jump he was taking into the unknown. He was afraid he was going to land ‘flat on his back’. In English this suggest loss of control, and being ‘on ones back’ links with illness or defeat. The girls, he felt, were his daring in taking his new step in career, and also his vulnerability. All this was easy for him to realise, but it didn’t take away his anxiety. Therefore we worked on carrying the dream forward while honouring his feelings – i.e. not pushing away any of his fears or resistances.  

Des sat and relaxed, imagining himself back in his dream, feeling anxious the girls might damage themselves. He changed the scene slightly by turning the gymnasium floor into a swimming pool. This shifted the mood from one of possible danger to one of fun or play. However, Des could not feel that he could export this feeling of fun to his work situation. Of course it would make it slightly better if he could feel the new step was fun, but this was not very believable to him, so was not useful.  

Then he had a urge to climb up on the board as one of the girls and dive off. As he did this he felt the full flow of his anxiety. Even so he managed to land on his back on the bare floor. So, like the girls in the dream, he climbed up again and repeated the dive. After running through this a number of times Des opened his eyes and smiled. He said, ‘It’s just a feeling. Anxiety, I mean. It’s just a feeling.’  

When I asked him to expand on this he replied, ‘When I dive off that board I feel anxious. But when I repeat it over and over I start to recognise that it is like a tape playing. The feeling doesn’t actually do me any harm, it’s just something that plays in certain situations. What I learn from this is that feelings don’t harm me unless I hold onto them. I can have the feeling of falling flat on my back and get up from it and take another risk. It’s okay. My anxiety isn’t a reflection of reality, only of how I feel. There is a big difference.’  

Tony


12
Dreamer - A dream is something that comes from a deep part of you; it is something that is working upwards toward being conscious. As such it often, like a seed, takes time to break through to the surface, and then it has to grow. So, often dreams are not recognised for their full meaning until later – sometimes months or even years. The dream images are attempts to communicate something that has probably never been thought about or even been consciously known about, so has never been put into common everyday thinking before. It is a communication from the depths, from beyond words and thought, and so any interpretations that are given by thinking may completely miss the point. It might help to use https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson

I too have kept a dream journal since the 1960s, and I found that dreams often gave amazing guidance that only became obvioius years later. They were about important life directions that helped me to be sure of my way when there was great uncertainty; they showed me things that only later became known scientifically; they warned me of big trends in the future that enabled me to survive in difficult times. Maybe use https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/dream-journal-diary/

Tony


13
A few years ago I kept a journal religiously, but lost interest and stopped noting my dreams. During a major clean-up this weekend I found my dream diary and was stunned to see many dreams were signs of what followed in my life years after. Most of them at that time didn't make any sense but now I'm quite curious.
Dreamer

14
“It began with a knotted feeling in stomach, went inside myself and found a lump that I had kept deep within that no one could touch or ever has done. I spilt the lump and there appeared two halves of a walnut with a picture of my mother and father in each half as they were when I was a child. As I looked the two halves crumpled into dust. This was the secret I have carried since childhood, that I had parents, unlike the other children in the orphanage, yet the truth was I too was left behind in the orphanage by my parents. The emotions really came to the surface and I really cried. After this wave passed, I was left in a very passive state. I then went into the telephone box that I had dreamt of, and tried to make the call to reconnect, but again another shock, there was nobody to connect with, again the realisation that I was an orphan. Another great wave of emotion tore me apart. I then turned toward the dogs – also in the dream - as they came at me, I began to feel the sickness that I have always experienced in sessions but I just shrugged and let the feeling wash over me. It felt like I have always ended up in hell by that route, and I realised afterwards that hell is hell and will never be anything else.

I felt that there was something deeper and so I kept to a centre line, again there was no feeling and so I turned toward the god dream that I had when Rob was here. The look of total love for me in those eyes gave me the strength to trust my own process. I then went into fantasy, God holding my hand and picking up all the people and events in my life and placing them all together on a stone altar, which he then placed me upon and told me to surrender and allow myself to die. This I did and images of great waterfalls, and molten lava flows filled my being. Then the crisis broke through, and there I was in the kids’ home as my father was leaving. I saw myself, or I should say my being go out to him. I felt that if I loved him, he wouldn’t leave us. I then saw that I was already bonded to my mother and in that moment of transference there was guilt and I was caught in the middle, then he left creating a schism in which was left in my spine with a personality on either side. Schizophrenia is the word to that covers this state about: Schizophrenia a mental disease marked by a breakdown in the relation between thoughts, feelings, and actions, frequently accompanied delusions and retreat from social life. I then felt what I would call the primal scream emerge from my being and then I was through. I then saw the dogs as my anxieties that have taken up two thirds of my being constantly tearing me apart, also saw that as a kid I didn’t have enough information to redirect the energy elsewhere, but now I had taken a step beyond it.”

K

15
Dream Interpretation / Re: A Series of Dreams
« on: February 25, 2020, 08:47:47 AM »
Rumana – You start by writing, “My relationship with my mother was rough, but her death has still been difficult to accept on many levels.” I think that in itself is worth commenting in, for I know from losing my father and then my mother without any negative feelings or grief that what you felt or still feel is most likely due to early traumas, unexpressed pain, things that were missing in your upbringing.
   
The truth is that that the person is dead and is out of your physical life, but we carry all the memories, hurts, unexpressed anger and even murderous rage in us. We usually blame our parent for what we now face, as I did for years, for I carried revenge in me for years. But it is us that hangs on to or hasn’t found a way to express it all. Fortunately I was shown a way to express my misery and pain, my murderous rage, my heartbreaking cries and tears before their death, so I was left calm. See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/the-healing-experience/ and https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/abreaction/

Many people do not realise that they have an inner mother equally as powerful as an external mother. You have taken in millions of bits of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with your mother, and they are a major influence in your early life, and in a few cases the child never becomes independent from its mother at any age. This is true even if your mother was never there for you – you still have all the memories of her not being there for you filed under ‘Mother’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner mother can appear in dreams because you are still deeply influenced by what you hold within you.  The inner mother can also signify what has been received via genes passed on or ancestral influences.

The first dream: The enter an experience in your life where what you knew has been stripped bare – meaning you are feeling a great change in yourself. I am not sure but your sister seems to represent the aspect of you that is an example for you and is taking care to explain something to you. When people are lyingdown with a white sheet covering them it often says that the person has died. So the example is saying the you need to let your past self die because a new you is emerging through the great changes you are facing. See River

Second dream: This is about the changes taking place in your life. The place where you lived is the psychological and experienced past you grew up in and it is still being altered by present experience. At the moment it seems to you that you may be experiencing a lot of emotions that are causing you not to be seeing clearly – the muddy waters – but your dreams says that this will change and everything will be better – the sun coming out.

Third dream: This is pointing the way ahead. The clothes you wear show the way you see yourself, the image – self image – you have of who you are. Clothes can depict the stance or attitudes we use to meet other people or special situations such as work or danger. They can also indicate a period or phase of ones life when you wore those clothes, and so associate with the activities, problems, or things you were experiencing at that time.

Things in you are undergoing change, even the ground you walk on is cracking up – it represents the ‘ground we stand on’; attitudes and relationships we have taken for granted; everyday life; the past.

You ask yourself/your dream sister, “What is happening?” Death coften confronts us with great change, so seeing your mother in white shows a new view of the afterlife and of your life. Although change can cause some people anxiety, everything is shown as good. See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/the-healing-experience/

Tony

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