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Messages - Leswan

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Questions about dreams / Re: Sleep paralysis.
« on: December 12, 2011, 02:42:20 PM »
Hi Randi,

As a teen I used to suffer from sleep paralysis - and was terrified by it. Then in my mid 20's I began to have spontaneous out-of-body-experiences that would often start with sleep paralysis and other bizarre sensations, vibrations and noises.

Now, whenever I get sleep paralysis or similar, most of the time I'm more excited than I am scared because I know an intruiging adventure is about to unfold.

You may wish to read some OBE literature which may help dispel the fear around what you are experiencing.

When Tony writes:
The fact is that our conscious will and personality are only a tiny part of us

I really couldn't agree more. Reality is more than mind-bending!

Dream Interpretation / Re: Debating with Tony Crisp!
« on: December 06, 2011, 10:44:03 AM »
Thanks Tony.

I'm so pleased you understand through first-hand experience about this pain - and also that you no longer experience it.

Thanks for this exercise too - I'll see what happens.

I have difficulty in finding a regular, safe arena for coex, a time where I will not disturb anybody and equally will be free from disturbance and am not making as much progress as I would like. I've almost finished Mind & Movement now and it has reinforced my feelings that our society completely divorces us from what we are as human beings.

Keep well.


Dream Interpretation / Re: Shark and Shiva
« on: December 01, 2011, 09:55:01 AM »
Wow!   ;D

Some of this is very familiar to me. Not in symbolism but in terms of the feelings you express and your reaction to them - particularly your attempt to assert yourself over the 'outside' forces and your use of mantras.

Absolutely fascinating.

Thanks for sharing!

Dream Interpretation / Debating with Tony Crisp!
« on: November 29, 2011, 10:55:20 AM »
Had to post this one! But before I get into the dream, I'll briefly explain what had happened before finding myself in the dream.

I woke up with sleep paralysis, feeling like an OBE was about to happen but then...

Instead of flowing out of my body which is what I would hope for, I got a harsh pain in my perineum. This pain is now very familiar - 50% of my OBE's are aborted because of it and have been since 2008. It's not a physical pain because as soon as I break out of sleep paralysis, it disappears. It is a metaphysical pain! It sometimes feels like a broom handle is being forced up inside me, about half a foot in length. Anybody any ideas on what this could be? I've wondered about kundalini and maybe the energy is blocked? I have very tight, knotted hamstrings and poor spine flexibility, particularly in the lower back. I'm hoping coex is going to help me with these issues.

Anyway, so all this had happened and I'd broken free of the sleep paralysis such was the discomfort from the perineum pain. I rolled over and went back to sleep. Then the dream kicked in....

I was in a lovely country house. Lots of light. Large windows. I was sat at a medium sized square table fashioned from dark wood. Across from me sat Tony Crisp and to my right sat somebody else who's identity is hidden from me. They may as well have been invisible. They weren't even there and yet I was aware that somebody else was sat there.

Tony and I were discussing dreams and spirituality.

I was making the point that real, waking life is not all that important and should take second place to our non-physical lives and meditation. I was getting quite animated about this point.

Tony smiled and said something about my perspective being unhelpful and challenged me in some way that I can't quite remember now.

I said emphatically to him that real waking life only seems real because it's such a convincing illusion, at which I grabbed the table, rocking it slightly as if to prove my point.

Tony laughed and said something. I woke up and realised that I had been completely sucked into the illusion of the dream and failed to wake up within it - which is what Tony (or my wiser self?) thought was so funny!

Dream Interpretation / OBE to a beautiful place.
« on: November 02, 2011, 02:40:47 PM »
Last night I had my first OBE in ages.

I used a spinning exit technique and fell asleep whilst doing it and whilst repeating "Now I am out of body!".

I awoke with sleep paralysis and allowed myself to flow out.

I descended into a palace. The room that stretched out before me had beautiful marble floors and majestic stone columns. There were luxurious cushions, grand vases and exotic artifacts on display all of which gave this place an air of ancient opulence.

As I floated through this place, 3 small but brightly coloured snakes appeared in front of me. One was red, one was green and I think the other may have been turquoise. When I say they were brightly coloured, I actually mean they had patches of bright colour on them but would have been quite normal otherwise. And these patches of colour were so bright they were luminescent.

As I floated towards them I brushed them aside - I didn't want to touch them. They were aware of me but weren't bothered by my presence or by my aversion.

I floated past and rounded a large u-bend and found myself in a large lounge area that had leather stools. It was a very comfortable and relaxing room, decorated in beige and browns - far more modern than the previous room, but there was nothing to do here.

I didn't understand why I was here. What did this place mean? If this place was a creation of my psyche what did it symbolise and what was my psyche trying to tell me? I tried to dissolve the scenery and go somewhere new but this didn't work. I called out for the symbolism to be redrwan in a different format so that I may understand.

I phased back into my body.

Was the second room my current life? Perfectly pleasant, but a little boring?!

General Discussion / Re: Working in a group
« on: October 31, 2011, 02:43:15 PM »
Hi Tony. Never ask for forgiveness for 'saying so much'  ;). Please always say as much as you can! Thank you for sharing your life and your own experiences with us in such an open and honest way.

I saw the killer as being Asian, from the Far East. I may have been American but I'm fairly certain that I was caucasian. As for the area - there was a lot of overgrowth, but it didn't appear to be a jungle.

General Discussion / Coex session
« on: October 31, 2011, 12:45:14 PM »
30th October 2011 - Coex Session

Alone in the house, I decided to have a coex session.

As I expected, I found it easy to let go and allow my body to get on with moving in whatever way it wanted. The urge to walk in place was huge and so I allowed this to happen as my eyes closed and my breathing slowed.

I found myself doing some strange movements with my right arm: my right hand moved towards my stomach, wrist twisting so that my fingertips were pointing towards the ceiling. My right hand, followed by my forearm then moved up my chest like a plant growing within me. It was as if my right arm was miming a stem growing from my stomach up through my oesophagus and out of my mouth.

Perhaps this movement was me just playing out the seed exercise, but I didn’t get caught up in the analysis of what this meant or where it had come from. I just allowed it to take place.

Then as my other arm joined it above my head, so that my arms were now stretching out like branches of a tree my legs also pushed out to the side to try and mirror what my arms were doing.

As I began to do the splits, my poor flexibility compromised the movement and my knees bent forward so that I fell forward into a kneeling position, legs spread. I began to bounce up and down and realised that I felt like a woman having sex. This felt weird but incredibly sexual. It felt good. My right hand moved to my imaginary clitoris and my perineum and rubbed. It felt intensely sexual but I wasn’t displaying outward signs of arousal. Without any further warning I needed to walk again, so I stood up and began to walk on the spot.

With eyes closed, I felt myself bend over to the left and this caused me to start walking in anti-clockwise circles. My right hand began hitting my lower back forming a 4/4 beat in time with my steps. My voice began forming low gruff noises that gradually formed a chant. I felt like a deranged American Indian performing some kind of ritual, chanting a bizarre emotive mantra.

This began to get louder and more forceful. The increase in volume was mirrored by an increase in the force with which my right hand was thumping my lower back until I was pounding myself in a craze.

Then, abruptly I stopped walking and hitting myself but the chant continued as if it had a life of its own within me. I felt slightly frightened now.

My arms now reached above my head as if pulling something down towards me in anger. Yes, the fear was replaced by anger. Pulling it into my heart, fists clenched tight hugging this into my chest in rage. And the rage consumed me and the chanting became louder. Each time I pulled down from above, I engaged more of myself in the action until I was jumping in the air as I reached up to to whatever it was I was clasping at and then landing heavily on my feet, squatting down to my haunches and pulling down with all my might, growling the mantra out like a snarling dog.

I did this until I felt as if I was on the verge of losing control - I was exhausted by now, my right shoulder sore from hitting my back, and I lay down on my bed, breathing hard and bewildered at everything that had just happened.

I wonder what would have happened if I had completely lost control?

General Discussion / Re: Working in a group
« on: October 28, 2011, 10:40:12 PM »
That's a great video and I've come across many similar accounts. I've also experienced  a door opening up above me whilst I was in sleep paralysis and a shadow figure appearing from the doorway and leaping into me. As this happened, I relived the moments of my death as a hatchet was embedded in my forehead. I was outside, on a battlefield I presume.

Dream Interpretation / Re: Banishing in the name of God
« on: October 18, 2011, 12:53:03 PM »
Tony, that's a really helpful explanation. When you say there is nothing evil in our inner world - where is the dividing line between our inner world and the wider non-physical environment? I've not been able to find one, and yet I'm certain that I've been outside of my own mindscape.  :D

I have found that in my inner work it can be helpful to spend a few minutes 'aligning with Christ / Higher Self / God' whatever label you choose to describe our highest aspect. When I wrote that it was an 'inner call' to Christ which empowered me, I mean that literally. I say something to the effect of "In the name of Christ, whose, grace, love and humility fills me, whose power and light protect me...". This isn't an outward call asking for JC to come and bail me out of trouble, rather, it is an acknowledgement of what I know lies at my (ad everybody's) core and this reminder (using the story of Jesus Christ) helps me to connect to this, linking me directly to my highest potential.

Questions about dreams / Re: Which dreams to explore?
« on: October 14, 2011, 10:13:27 AM »
What refreshingly different point of view to some of the hardcore lucid dreamers out there who tell us to record EVERYTHING we dream.

Dream Interpretation / Re: Mourners at a wedding
« on: October 13, 2011, 05:07:23 PM »
Thanks Tony,

Some possible links and associations came to me today during meditation - along with some funny movements and strange sensations that I am now just allowing to play out.

The dream has already faded in terms of its emotional content. I'm trying to feel that grief that flowed through me, but I think it's been buried again... for now.

BTW, Mind and Movement is brilliant. The charcoal breathing meditation is amazing!


Dream Interpretation / Re: Banishing in the name of God
« on: October 13, 2011, 05:04:25 PM »
Hi Rain,

I've had several extremely similar dreams to this and also some OBE's where I have, in desperation, resorted to using the name of God or Christ to banish whatever was causing me the problem.

I say in desperation because I am not religious in the common sense of the word. In fact, prior to my OBE's I didn't have time for any religion or religious scripture. It was only OBE's that caused me to reconsider everything about my belief systems and world view and sparked some curiosity with regard to world religions.

For me, whenever I call to Christ in harrowing dream / OBE scenarios (which is usually an internal call - if that makes sense) I am hugely empowered and filled with a tingly energy.

I'd be interested to hear what Tony says about these dreams of yours. I spotted an article he's written about his meetings with Christ, but haven't had time to read them yet.  :)

Greetings / Re: Hi I'm Rain!
« on: October 12, 2011, 03:40:56 PM »
Hi Rain,

Yes, I'd also love to read about your lucid dreams and also to know what your BIG dreams were about. Did anything particular prompt this change in your inner life or did it happen spontaneously? Oh, and if it's not too personal, how old were you when they started? My big changes happened at the age of 26/27 and came after a period of suspicion and paranoia.

Take care  :)


Dream Interpretation / Mourners at a wedding
« on: October 10, 2011, 11:07:58 AM »
Last night, I dreamt that I was at the wedding of a young woman who had lost a sibling from murder a few years ago. Even though this was a happy occasion, everybody at the wedding carried with them a cloud of grief. I was counselling the bride's mother, telling her to put all her pain in an area of energy that I had created in the space between us, but instead of her crying, it was me that completely broke down.

Grief and sorrow beyond anything I've ever experienced just came pouring out of me as if it were my loss.

After the wedding there was a party and some of the deceased's male relatives sang the weirdest of songs. Like a male voice choir on acid! They were belting it out, putting all of their anger and grief into the song. They were so loud that it almost scared me! One of the men, who I had previously written off as being a bit base in his ways, sang particularly impressively.

The dream felt very very real - the characters were all very 3 dimensional. Nobody seemed aware of my presence other than the bride's mother.

General Discussion / Re: Planet Earth
« on: October 10, 2011, 10:51:48 AM »
Beautifully put Dakota.  ;D

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