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Topics - Omega

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16
Dream Interpretation / Babies
« on: February 14, 2018, 09:24:47 AM »
I am looking at babies lying on the floor, 10? 20? they are very still. I look closer and realise they are completely frozen, they are all exactly the same age about 1 year old and wearing nothing but diapers. I look closely as they are so still, they have their eyes open. I'm shocked but also a bit overwhelmed by the sheer quantity (and it would be mayhem if they weren't frozen). Later another girl mentions frozen babies and I say 'wow I dreamt of that too' then someone is talking about all the fairytales coming alive and I say I hope not because it will be very stressful and crazy. Then a young deer is shot by an arrow in the neck and slumps its head on the table in front of me.

 - the frozen babies seem a reprieve from the chaos of life, the awful fecundity of humankind that it can barely cope with. The shot deer seems to mark the end of the reprieve..the fairytales are coming alive and before I know it there will be Knights on errand, wars between kingdoms...and Im just bored and sick of it all, of people's shallow ambitions, their ruthlessness.  I want to rest and have some peace.

But then Im walking arm in arm with some guy.

Maybe I don't just want retreat, but to find my own place of connection. My own world within the many worlds.

17
Healing Dreams / Am I healing?
« on: February 12, 2018, 10:37:59 AM »
Hi Tony. At one point in my life I read a lot about dreams, spirituality etc..doing yoga, meditation I managed to lucid dream about twice, after some work dedicated to getting to that point. I'm a bit disappointed that that's as far as I got. Is there a usefulness to lucid dreaming in relation to healing? I feel pretty incapable of lucid dreaming. My dreams are powerful and much happens there, but lucidity seems out of my reach. In recent years my dreams have just been a cascade of trauma dreams, which obviously needed processing, so I just had to yield to that, there was no choice. And also yield to illness and yield to pain and to life falling apart.

Last week (after a healing meditation) I dreamt a 'healer' covered in children's drawings on his skin, put his mouth to my neck and using his mouth and hands (but not physically touching me) started moving the energy through my body to try heal me. This was following on a previous scene of a man violently abusing a young child. Last night I dreamt I was in a toilet cubicle where I somehow knew many women had died, and as soon as I entered a powerful force just grabbed me and slapped me against the tiles and I could feel it pulling the life out of my body as I cried for help. It was like their deaths, their anger/despair, their energy was sucking me into the same fate.

Generally I'm wondering am I getting anywhere? Am I healing? What are signs of healing? Should I 'do' something? I've been trying to approach it all in a lifestream way and I do believe the 'yielding to what is happening' has reduced my suffering and helped me most. Should I  aim for lucid dreaming again? it has been a very very long road, hope would be nice..

Any thoughts appreciated

18
Dream Interpretation / My friend murders me
« on: October 04, 2017, 10:56:12 AM »
A few months ago I met up with an old best friend. I shared some of my story and learned of his own difficulties. I was disappointed and hurt he didn't reach out more afterwards and did his usual of hiding in work. Still I could see he is under more emotional pressure than he may realise, and is struggling under the pressure men are put to always be strong, and though I've been through hell im definitely on the healing path.

Last night I dreamt we were both looking over a bridge high over a river into the water. He was testing a rope to see would it reach. I said it's too thin to climb up. Then he encouraged me to dive into the water, I hesitated but agreed, then he was right behind me diving in too. I thought he's too close this could be dangerous but It was happening so quickly. He dived right behind me, as in almost holding me, then when we were under water I realised he was holding me and he was drowning me. I was trying to understand why he would do this, Im so surprised and confused and then I die. I woke from this, shocked and sad.

(In being the thing I just get anger and jealousy as him.  For me the overwhelming emotion is betrayal and grief)

19
Dream Interpretation / Tornados
« on: October 03, 2017, 09:31:23 PM »
I am flying with someone, as in we are just able to fly with our bodies, and I am teaching them how to spot the formation of tornados saying if you are going to fly a lot, it's something you'll need to navigate. I point out a cloud that has an upward airstream that is starting to speed up really fast. Then I point out a tornado half formed. Suddenly pockets of high speed air start whizzing by, the equivalent of rock or comets. Then one hits me and propels me right out of the atmosphere into space, I use a lot of energy to re-enter as quickly as I can and return to my original position.

I'm with my dad asking about a new playground, he's very short tempered and says that was always there. A man angry his church has been vandalised, he shows me a stack of cooking sauce containers, he's implying are being used. The church is pretty, blue/grey, wooden among trees and is a private church belonging only to his family. I see my mother ill on a chair as she was before she died.  I wake.

Later I sleep again and dream of explaining to an artist I know that we are all full of the dead children of ourselves, we can die a few times at different ages.

someone sweeping after an event, I find a coin with a dolphin and moon symbol, I hesitate but pick it up. A guy is networking with a woman I know who is unstable and a bit dangerous, he has already given me his number.  I notice I am standing there near her, leaving myself totally open to her low energies, when I notice I quietly slip away and I'm so relieved and proud I noticed before I just followed old patterns and allowed myself to get sucked into her negative control.

20
Healing Dreams / Heart shaped drum
« on: June 21, 2017, 12:25:52 AM »
I am in a farmhouse, in the kitchen/living area. I see a frame drum, I say to the woman, I can teach your son how to play (don't know how I know she has a son). I pick it up and realise it's in the shape of a heart. I start to play it gently, saying this is what I would teach him first.. something very simple. Then I see two of her teenage daughters have appeared, they sit slouched side by side on a sofa glaring, they stare at me with intense hatred and bitterness. I leave and go outside I'm nearly run over by her husband reversing a tractor, I jump out of the way, then I walk away up the lane. Now I'm back inside with the woman, she's very emotional, thanking me, saying I can't know how much my short visit gave to her, how she never experienced what I brought before, (creativity, fun?) her life has been about serving her husband and very boring. I get a feeling of the aridness of the existence she has led inside me as she speaks. I notice the Muppets are in TV and that makes me happy.


21
Healing Dreams / Healer
« on: June 18, 2017, 12:21:08 PM »
I have booked shakira to sing at a venue. Then it turns out I'm shakira but I don't remember any of the songs and they are all in Spanish so I could hardly learn in time. I panic and look for advice as I'm really scared I'll get a bad reputation of being unprofessional. I run and ask this guy there, he calls another guy, they chat, it's all about 'being mates' and it's sorted out. I feel completely at sea and fear the boys-club network, but glad I've used it instead of making myself vulnerable, for once.

 (The alternative was to struggle on alone and likely be shamed and ostracised for messing up, by the venue owners and local cultural network mostly made of men, who will be kind to you if they find you attractive or sexually available and nasty otherwise..)

Now I'm sitting in the audience, a huge ballroom where I recently attended a literary event. I'm watching a woman do some kind of hands healing on another woman lying in a table on the stage. I'm really effected by how powerfully the woman's hands are effecting the woman being healed, her flesh is moving really strongly in response to the energy pull.  (When I wake later I think how interesting that both these are about the stage, I suffer badly from stage fright) As the woman continues, someone in the audience in front of me blocks my view by 'joining in' the healing waving her hand around, its clear she hasn't a clue and is just attention seeking, it's really annoying and I feel exhausted by how many idiots there are in the world that never get disciplined or called to account. I don't bother saying anything, because if I do, my pattern as yet unbroken despite the healing I've done to date, is that everyone sides with the idiot against me,

Then I'm peeing a lot. Two children mock me, then I'm in their home, their mother is in a wheelchair and also has some speech device. She tells me her two older children died or killed themselves. I start to cry I feel so sorry for her 'that must have caused you a great deal of pain' I say. She starts to weep very subtly, I can see my compassion for her has brought up emotion she doesn't let surface.

I feel this dream is exploring my inability to present myself well on stage without huge shame and fear debilitating me (and therefore make any career progress whatsoever).

Maybe I'm being healed in some way in the dream. For once men are helping me, instead of assaulting me.
The wheelchair bound woman, is barely a living soul, has had children who've died, doesn't care about the ones she has now. The room is airless, dry, deathly. She's got a terminal illness of some kind. But I feel she could be healed and the tears are the start.

Emm actually thinking back now.. I'm a bit suspicious of this woman. Maybe she actually killed the kids? Maybe she's the perpetrator and not the victim. Maybe I was falling into my old trap of immediately believing people, of being manipulated into caring for them.. On reflection there was nothing particularly warm about this woman at all..

22
Dream Interpretation / Lunar eclipse
« on: June 18, 2017, 12:00:59 PM »
Hi Tony, I hope you are well.  :)

I have a lot of trauma dreams, so when I have a dream that's neither stress nor trauma it stands out, but this one actually had awe and wonder.

I met yet again this same guy who has been entering my dreams for three years now, he is always either leading me somewhere or trying to connect with me and I keep him at arms length as I don't know if he is trustworthy. Also I feel I'm not pretty enough for him and he's successful and I'm not. I just can't believe he would want me.

This dream he is incredibly warm and chatty, we are sitting at a hotel bar, it feels safe and not too flirtatious. (This is the first dream I've actually had such close intimate engagement with him that lasted more than a minute) I feel attracted to him but insecure. To protect myself I get up to leave 'oh no you're not leaving?' He says 'I have to go home' I say. 'I have no home, he says, they won't even give me the keys to my hotel room' I don't reply. A woman comes excitedly calling my name and says I really should go to a backtoback play that's on. I go, its in the location of a literary festival I attended recently, a huge estate house, but instead of a play, it's two courts taking place simultaneously, the high court and the Supreme Court, I go into a huge hall with lots of wood to watch the supreme first.

Then I'm back walking out of the hotel where I'd been leaving the guy, outside its moonlight clear, bright. A small old man is walking in front of me. I look up and I'm awestruck by what I see, I can't understand it at first.. but then I shout 'it's an eclipse!' The old man doesn't even look up just carries on walking in front of me. Above me there is a lunar eclipse just passing, at the point of eclipse it's like a dark grey smoke is emitting from it, inside the smoke/across the eclipse rainbow colours shimmer. Then a coloured disc flies out from it and dissipates in the air near me, it's exactly like a piece of art work I had done to promote my last major creative work seven years ago. I look up then and the moon is huge and really bright and the eclipse slowly slips across it. I think 'oh I wish x (the guy I'd been chatting with) was here to see this with me.. but I feel elated to have seen something so surprising. I feel the energy of the rainbow colours as something deeply magical. The whole thing like I'd just witnessed some sort of cosmic ritual being used perhaps to cleanse and create. The happiness stays with me for a few days when I think back on seeing the eclipse.


23
Dream Interpretation / The Rock Kingdom
« on: February 12, 2017, 12:47:36 PM »
I would just like to ask a general question about rocks and crystals in dreams. Last night I dreamt I was being flown through the sky on large rock from a beautiful rugged mountain, but I was tricked into descending by a call for help from the ground and that person then stole the rock. Stone, rock and crystals regularly appear in my dreams. Normally the crystals appear like gifts and the rocks usually have a message either carved words, sculpted images or even once they spoke.

Where could I learn more about this dimension? Thankyou.

24
Dream Interpretation / Same guy
« on: January 02, 2017, 10:22:27 AM »
Greetings and a very happy 2017 and thanks so much for all your guidance last year.
I've been absent for a while as my dreams haven't had the same intense emotional impact, so I've been able to focus on daily life for a change. Phew.

However I do want to ask about this.

For two years now the same guy has been entering my dreams fairly regularly, usually there is a light-hearted element to him, like he's amused by me but also wants to connect with me. It's got to the stage that when I saw him in my dream last night, diving in to a busy swimming pool that I was swimming in, that even in the dream I thought 'what's with this guy, why does he keep coming into my dreams? What does he want and is he to be trusted ?' I've only seen him on stage twice and I've never met him. I don't consciously have a thing for him either. I don't follow his work. But again and again he appears.  My previous dream was that I was sitting outside on a wall writing in my diary and he called me into a Coffey shop, I went as it had just started to rain, he starting joking teasing me, I ordered myself a coffey trying to ignore him, but I was handed two and told that one was for him. In the dreams he's always trying to get my attention. I assumed he was my animus, but is it unusual that the same person over two years represents an individuals animus?


25
Dream Interpretation / Black swan
« on: October 03, 2016, 06:38:19 AM »
I am walking outside, perhaps in front of a large old estate house. I see a black swan flying, initially I expect it to be elusive, but it flies right to me and starts pecking me, for such a large bird it's very agile more than it would be in real life, I pick up a piece of wood to protect myself and when it continues to fly at me and peck me I put the wood between us so it pecks that instead, then I think it flies off.


26
Dream Interpretation / The Face of Death
« on: September 09, 2016, 11:08:47 AM »
 I've recently bought a car which I really love. ... Dream: In the dream I wake up and look out my bedroom window and I see the man who abused me as a child - he is outside with the engine bonnet open, tampering with the engine, doing something to damage it. I'm a child now even though the car relates to my current adult life. I scream out the window with all my strength, leave it alone, leave my car alone. As usual he is incredibly confident and doesn't bat an eye, so I run downstairs and scream again. Now however my father has taken my car and put it in the shed to keep it safe and the abuser has disappeared.

I am sitting in a sunny backyard talking to Alexander Jodorowsky a film director. *

It's getting hotter and I'm a bit concerned too hot for an older gentleman, then I notice he's shrinking a bit and the rocking chair he's in has either grown or looks huge now in comparison, it's like a deckchair with one sheet of material a soft white linen. So I say to someone with me, he needs shade.

They take over in a very experienced way, before I know it, they have him lying down beneath what appears to be a table but also of linen, perfect for shading him, but then they continue and wrap white cloth around his head and then but a cloth over his face. I'm worried he won't be able to breath, so I remove it, then I see why, he has died. I'm not ready for this, I touch his face unafraid, then I see his eyes flicker and happily I call out 'he's still alive' but then his face transforms and a deep blackness takes over his eyes and his now opening mouth and he moves, extends his head and gives out a death cry - his face and skin look like a living skeleton and its deeply, deeply frightening. There is a thick darkness now too and a sense of being in outer space and only me and this clear vision of his death-face. It's so intense, so powerful, Infinite..I am transfixed unable to look away and feel I have witnessed the very Face of Death. The archetype maybe?

I wake up gasping. I feel a few tears on my face but I can't move I'm numb, in shock, when I can I put my hand on my heart and its racing at a frightening speed, but incredibly fast and light rather than pounding. (I associate having pounding heart with fear dreams.) I'm shaken to the core. But it does not last the day only a short time into waking.

* (I don't know his film work much, bu know other areas andin my late 20's read his biography and was very effected by the freedom of expression he lived in his life, but also aware I felt a bit invisible as a female in the work, I didn't get a huge 'understanding' of the female experience. It's a long time ago, but I think that's what I remember..But 'Death' would be something he would actively engage in in his work.) Other associations.. erudite, emotionally courageous, someone who has confronted their shadow, successful artist, happy, living a vital life I admire/something I would like to emulate.

(I've never been particularly afraid of death, I don't really fear letting go of life, I just think it's natural and I'll be reconnecting to the universe, though maybe subconsciously I do fear that loss of the self I know. I feel this encounter may be partly that subconscious fear, the coldness, the lack of human warmth..)


* I just looked him up tonight - and he has a new trailer for a film he is bringing out and the opening scene is a crowd of people dressed as skeletons walking towards the camera!

27
Dream Interpretation / Rainbows
« on: August 16, 2016, 06:35:04 PM »
I have dreamt of rainbows a number of times in the past six months..I always feel their appearance is very 'special' in some way.. In the dream I'm usually pointing them out to myself or others.. Going look! Look!

Last night I dreamt several dreams of being threatened by men driving cars, the first called to my door at night, I had a sense he was dangerous and up to no good, when I decided to confront him, I put on my glasses only to discover I had gone blind..Next I was being driven by a delinquent male cousin who was wrecking my dads car driving crazily, I was in the front passenger seat.

Then I had an amazing experience, outside a building, a deep grey sky, it's almost night fall and I see three huge rainbows arcing in different directions. Then they multiplied and I turned 360 degrees and they surrounded me on every side, I was with someone now and we were both saying 'wow' and 'look!' to each other.. There were also colours on their own as if they had escaped from the rainbows.. And a brilliant torquoise blue crescent on one rainbow. Then a woman came and wished me 'happy birthday' and left again.

Then I am in the back seat of a car I tell them they can drop me off soon as I'm nearly st my dads house, I'm with a pretty girl in her 20's in the back and two men in their 60's in the front. (The driver is a man I met recently, very accomplished and successful, who kept pressurising me to get physical with him and I had to use a great deal of self-assertion to make him take no for an answer, it was not easy). The man driving starts injecting cannabis, I'm calling out to him to watch the road as he's not paying attention and a turn is coming. Very like the previous driver, makes me feel I am unsafe and in danger.

28
Dream Interpretation / A guide?
« on: July 20, 2016, 11:16:25 PM »
I am facing a tall dark wooden unit of drawers. I'm speaking to a 'guide' asking for help dealing with people who are set against me and what appears to be an imminent battle. It seems to be set in the past, perhaps around 1200.. Era is vague. As I'm listening to the guide speak I'm eating cured ham from the cupboard, perhaps to conceal that I'm speaking to a spirit. The guide gives me some phrases/invocations to say and they involve calling disease and terrible events upon my 'enemies'  I'm not comfortable with this, but before I can argue the guide has gone. I then go about arming myself, perhaps I've just decided to battle it out as I don't like the idea of what the guide suggested. I gather a sword and an ornate brass hook weapon.. I'm a bit nervous, I don't know how the fighting will begin. I really don't have much to protect myself.

I am in a modern bar, I meet two girls I used to know, that were always very selfish & superior towards me, but viewed themselves as magnanimous.. (I recently drew a boundary when they tried to get close to me again, I didn't do any small talk, I didn't try to smooth feathers. It was just an I've nothing more to say, you had your chance and I'm done.) So I just complement them on their fashionable clothes and squeeze past.

29
Dream Interpretation / Damaged Father's Car
« on: July 02, 2016, 06:50:09 PM »
Hello!

I meet one of my sisters, who I've been avoiding in everyday life because she's such an emotional drain on me. She looks ill and is happy to see me. I go outside. I'm sitting in my Dads car and showing some woman who has a nice vibe how to put it into reverse so we can drive off. I'm in the passenger seat. We drive a very short distance when I 'see' the outside left of the car has been scratched. I panic as I would hate for any damage to occur while we are using in my Dads car, so we stop and I get out to check. When I get out initially its just the scratches but then I look and the car is completely devastated by damage, the roof knocked in, damage everywhere, someone had scraped words I can't read on the side and the two back wheels are gone. I'm confused as to how we could have driven if the car was this damaged a few moments earlier when we took off.

I understand the car symbol when it's my car. I'm just struggling to interpret the fact it's my fathers, tho I have been using his recently. Does the dream relate to me as in my usual car dreams? or this time more specifically to my father, my relationship with my father?

In another part of that nights dreaming I am driving a car. I have a ballpoint pen on a chain, like you see in banks, the window is open and the chain part flies out the window.. I keep driving but think again and reverse doubting I'll find it but I do and I fix it back on the pen, thinking whoever owns it will be happy and it's just nice in general to take care of things. It's twilight.

30
Dream Interpretation / Beat-up face
« on: May 18, 2016, 08:36:16 AM »
I am dancing with a man with blond hair and beard on the roadside by a shed, at my family home. It's the comedian Keith Lemon who I can't bear in real life, but in the dream I have none of the associations at all and I'm friendly. He gets closer and closer and kisses me, he's very passionate. I feel attracted to him. He says something like you've got to try things out, I say to him this experience is ok, because I'm exploring understanding the world through direct experience rather than thought. Then he gets into a white van and leaves, it's evening.

I go inside the house and look in the mirror and I'm horrified to see my right eye is so bruised and  swollen it's closed, then I notice my other eye is also swollen but not as black and distorted, in fact my whole face is totally beaten up and I have a red rash on my chest, I momentarily wonder at him kissing me looking like this, but mostly I'm just in shock at the state of my face and the severe damage. I'm saying beaten up as it's the only time I've seen faces look like that.

Another scene I'm outside another house with my grown-up niece, she's sleeping in an animal burrow with her feet sticking out. I notice then in a part of the garden the ground is made from Madeira cake instead of soil, it looks golden and perfectly baked I taste a bit. It starts to rain. I take out an umbrella, a younger neice arrives all happy and excited as she always is.

I am inside in the family home kitchen, this older niece is sitting at the table crying because she's missing her granny, my mother, which shocks me really; I can't say anything, because I don't miss her at all and it won't be possible to explain to my neice, nor do I want to, how badly she treated me..  So I just comfort her for her own pain..

*edit - one thought I have.. given I dreamt of the stalker the previous night who 'would return'..
..that this was an example of my inability to recognise dangerous men, so in the dream I am not tapping in to my knowledge that I dislike and distrust this man. I believe I am exploring but he's really calling the shots, not me.
I end up with a severe beating. I know it could be interpreted on many different levels, but as the stalker dream was so powerful, it doesn't seem too much of a stretch to think this man might have been the return he promised..

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