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Topics - Omega

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31
Healing Dreams / Stalker
« on: May 17, 2016, 10:18:12 AM »
I asked for a healing dream..

A man pulls up aggressively in a black sports car with black windows. I am at a retreat centre. Somehow he breaks into my room. There's a real dry emotionless quality to him. He sits on a table challenging me to do something. I ask him to leave, he is really smug and the more upset or scared I get the more he enjoys it. I start shouting saying I'll call the police, he laughs he's loving my distress. I decide to leave and not call the police to call his bluff. I go to a music concert - while there I panic realising he could find my diaries and read how I try to heal and protect myself and use that to attack me more effectively. I run back, I ask a friend to come but he's so passive he'll be useless, then he turns into another friend who is at least tall and burly, he turns into a black haired girl. I get back and my room has been utterly and completely ransacked, I don't recognise anything as everything is so broken - the sheer violence is still hanging in the air and effects me deeply, the message is he'll be back for me next time. I rush around looking for the diaries, it's not clear if I find them. Then I collapse on my knees, letting out huge cries of despair/grief/overwhelm..
(I see this as a healing aspect of the dream..)

Next day I go into the kitchen of the main house and  over hear the black haired girl who came to help say how she was hoping something would 'happen' between us that's why she really came along..  I feel so angry, so sick of being a sexual object, not even women are safe, always wanting something from me.. I plug my phone in to charge under the kitchen table beside someone else's and walk off quietly so she doesn't know I've heard, relieved at least I know her true intentions..

*oh yes.. then I went back and was standing outside my room, looking at the landscape pondering, when a herd of cows and their calves came, a black calf came and nuzzled me, I petted it, but was aware of how unlike a dog it was, so strong and that I better watch my toes as it moved about, it could even knock me over.

32
Dream Interpretation / Buddha Heads
« on: May 15, 2016, 04:18:30 PM »
I am driving a car, I take a route through mountains, I have two passengers, I'm chatting telling them I know it's very steep but I've come this way once before. Then the car disappears we are walking, I'm leading, along the side of a deep ravine and its night and dark now. The rocks shift suddenly, it's scary, everything becomes steeper, I slip but I'm not afraid as I have control, I slow the movement it's a bit like flying. I call back to the others that I will decend and see if there is another way out as the route over the top is now out of our reach. At the bottom huge stone statue heads of Buddha lie without bodies, sort of scattered, abandoned, but deeply peaceful.. There is a fresh green growth of spring plants on the ground. It's also a little brighter here.

 I exit the ravine at the northerly end, the direction we're going, and pass through a garden with neat pebble paths and exit into a warm bright sunny afternoon. I try to speak to a friendly man on a bike, but it seems I'm in a foreign country as he cant understand me. Then a man approaches and asks me am I Dr. West...(something)? I say yes, he seems to be expecting me, I say we are 36 or there are 36 more behind me.. I think we are scientists, possibly crossing a border. I go back to get my two companions,  I call out the name 'Subha' over and over.. No reply. They have disappeared.

(*remembered more. In brief- then a woman I know drinking gin under lilac laburnum..I try keep a boundary with her as she's pushy, I leave quite quickly. A girl shows me around an apartment she's taking that hasn't been lived in in a long time, it's dark, a strong musty smell, I go into a room, a tatty single bed, I'm told the police are coming soon to collect evidence before the girl can move in. The house was used to abuse women. On the floor in a kitchen, possibly somewhere else, a weird ginger cat with splayed legs, rigid it can't really walk, wearing a pink outfit with a hood, a bit like a babygro/dolls clothes. I pull the hood so it can see out and breathe.)

I spent quite a while googling symbology of stone statue, head etc..
Only by accident did I discover that it was Buddha's Birthday May 14th the day I had the dream!

 I also discovered that Subha is actually a name, and is also the name of an early Buddhist nun who reached enlightenment only eight days after ordination. It also means luminous or bright. I definitely didn't know either connection before.

The dream is one of few where I'm not being bullied or oppressed in some way. Perhaps the empowerment within the dream world is beginning.

33
Healing Dreams / Blood
« on: May 12, 2016, 10:19:17 AM »
I have started to ask for healing dreams.. I've suffered extreme tiredness for years now. Though I have been much better, it means I am unable to plan for the future.

Dream excerpt:
There's a woman outside what I think may be a hospital, lying on the pavement. She's very pale, with neat glossy bobbed hair. A man who loves her is with her, holding her. She's bleeding from somewhere. He's kissing her and his face is covered in her blood. He's saying  something like, let me love you or dedicate myself to you. She isn't responsive, she's ill, she reaches out a hand and steadies herself on a small stone pillar, it looks like a small headstone.

34
Dream Interpretation / Hawk
« on: May 10, 2016, 02:17:34 PM »
Extract:

I'm at a restaurant, odd looking young men with beards and strange costumes eat at the next table. One sings a medieval tune in falsetto and it's just stunning, another guy sings then, but he's not very good.

I'm in a huge cathedral.. some of the arches on the left open on to the outside, I see a hawk smoothly soaring and then it flies into the cathedral. I see a brown metallic looking insect about 3 inches long on the shoulder/collar of a man in front of me who is facing me, I don't see him clearly. The hawk lands on the man and with great precision grabs the insect in its beak. I am just so impressed and find the moment very beautiful, the way this bird is so masterful. Then the hawk flies back out of the cathedral.  Then a very large robin about 8-10 inches and rather portly is hovering mid-air among us as we stand there, not needing to fly, I say something about it loving the attention, and just how gregarious robins are, loving company. The bird is very happy though I think of it as being a bit shallow or bonkers

Im outside near a lake. A 'violin master' appears, he's a dark mysterious figure and throws a black violin case into the lake. I warn it's probably just a cheap instrument as I don't want my violinist friend being lured in to rescue it. Then I'm holding the bow, it's short, looks cheap. It seems I was right. There may have been an attached offer..'go get the violin and I will give you musical power, or prove to me you are serious about music' but really it's a ploy.

The figure feels like a trickster, want to cause problems. Uses something you care about and want to protect, to lure you into danger. Yet dressing in a long black gown as he does, isn't exactly a good disguise??!  ;D

and loads of other scenes

35
Questions about dreams / Quantity
« on: May 10, 2016, 02:03:05 PM »
Sometimes I wake up and just feel so annoyed.. Can't my subconscious be more concise?

Dream after dream after dream, mundane, hectic, profound, powerful..what a torrent.. but not very selective.

So I pick out the most powerful moment and focus on that. Still I find the sheer busyness, scene after scene, a bit too much..

36
Dream Interpretation / Pterodactyls
« on: May 05, 2016, 08:52:49 AM »
Hi Tony. Hope you are well. Here's a dream exerpt.

I am walking on a mountain top with a man, he seems to be a sort of acquaintance rather than close. I walk on ahead so I can focus on what I'm seeing. Signs suspended in the sky.. a circle, a crucifix, possibly made from reeds or bound branches.. I also see a rainbow 'patch' near the horizon which makes me happy and then I see pterodactyls (They are realistic but with rainbow coloured sheen on their skin) entering and leaving our dimension over head. I'm suspicious, I think it looks like bad special effects on tv, but I also accept that material reality might split in that particular way.  My feelings are just that of wanting to pay attention and understand what is going on here.

Next as I start to decend I notice wooden houses on my right, I'm going to just pass on but decide to explore. I think it's a gardening place but as I enter I see it's a beautifully decorated dwelling/summerhouse with a bed on the top level and a bed on the lower. As I pass the Lower bed I notice someone in it. A friendly guy with a phone in his hand. It seems like staff quarters now, which takes away some of the beauty of what seemed like a lovely hide-away. A group enter noisily and I leave.

37
Dream Interpretation / Quilt
« on: April 23, 2016, 10:40:44 PM »
I'm in a location from the past, a job that had a ridiculous workload and drained me dry. A woman is saying to me that I worked too hard, I think 'well why didn't you help me at the time?!' But I say 'well it's too late now' and I leave. I've spotted an owner next door, I'm going to warn them, but decide For Once not to give help to those who abandon me in my times of need..

Then I'm showering at a pool and hear voices - it's people from another old job that was a real boys club, I feel my desire to make it work and also to belong, but I realise it's pointless, I pass by the guys bonding and chatting in the swimming pool locker room and I say nothing and I leave.

 Then I'm walking on the road in front of my childhood home, there's a very bright intense sunset of golden hues, I'm moved by it, I think of Turner, then I look down and notice I'm walking pulling my duvet/quilt behind me and that it has the same colours and shapes and I realise that my quilt is actually creating the sunset.

38
Dream Interpretation / Doctor
« on: April 03, 2016, 01:48:51 PM »
I discover a wound on my upper arm, I think it's jam and pull congealed red material away but it must be blood. Beneath a circular hole in the skin, raw flesh shows exposed beneath. A dark haired man appears, youngish, he says he's a doctor and needs to cut it open I don't want him to I say Why? And can't we leave it? He looks too casual to be a doctor. He's very insistent, I'm scared and don't want him to do it, I'm afraid it will hurt and that it's not even necessary at all. It's like he just wants to experiment rather than heal me. I wake up scared heart thumping, takes me three hours to return to sleep.

Being the thing:
Guy/'doctor' - I am power. I can do what I like. I don't care if it hurts you.
Wound - I am wound. No skin to protect. Open access to inner. I am a hurt and I attract more problems because of existing.

39
Questions about dreams / Life as a dream
« on: April 02, 2016, 09:49:18 PM »
I realise I need to respond to some other threads, but I will do soon. Thankyou for those.

I have often been afraid to open my mouth, or express any pain, for fear that that very release expression, will attract more of the same, so I repress it where it does more damage, but at least I am not hurt immediately.. This has at least enabled me to survive, as keeping my wounded cry mute, at least meant the predators weren't immediately alerted to my whereabouts.

Recently after months of deliberation, I shared some very painful information, about abuse, and it turned out that while I did so, my bag and money and lots of important things within the bag was stolen from by my side.

But what did I gain from expression? More loss?
What good is release/expression if you are punished for it? Where's the healing?

40
Questions about dreams / From lots of dream recall to practically none
« on: March 28, 2016, 07:22:54 PM »
Just wondering why my dream recall would reduce dramatically? From lots of dream recall to practically none..
To reduce stress on my system of processing difficult emotions?
To get me to focus on waking life more?
Because the unconscious does not need to be heard right now?
Because the conscious is still integrating the previous material?

41
Dream Interpretation / Candles
« on: March 26, 2016, 08:39:36 AM »
My brother in law is there..has someone died? I think so..
There are lots of tea lights in holders or saucers in each one £50 notes are folded and placed around each tealight.. There are around 6 or 7 around each one.. I notice one is close to a flame and has started to singe, so I reposition it so it is no longer at the flame.. I don't have strong emotions, I guess The tealight are pretty and have a lovely energy and seeing all that money feels quite abundant. But there is a sacred, religious aspect..

42
Dream Interpretation / Man with a limp
« on: March 22, 2016, 10:40:07 PM »
I'm in the back garden of my childhood home. I am about 6 years old. Bruce Springsteen is walking away from me with a limp in his left leg, he's wearing black, a black leather jacket. Then I'm in a kennel in the same garden playing with a little tan and white terrier, he is very loving. (Emm I thought we never had a kennel but I just remembered a homemade one we had) Then I stand up and wrap him in a pale blue cloth and walk, he just loves being carried like that even though he can not see out, he obviously feels safe with me.
 Then I am walking by a calm rocky seafront, an older sister is talking non stop and I feel bored. Then it goes on into other dreams..

43
Dream Interpretation / Sweat lodge
« on: March 08, 2016, 11:27:06 AM »
A child is running ahead of me and others through dried fern. I say Oh it looks so different now the fern has died back. I say I guess this is how many ancient monuments were found - children running through fern. We're on top of an old Neolithic site, but they want to show me something I missed when the fern was green when I visited last. Two small grass covered mounds that appear to be sweat lodges. A few people go into the first, someone takes my mobile phone and throws it in the ground to keep the door shut. I go into the second alone, I'm a bit lost without my phone.  I'm surprised to see it has a modern transparent plastic door, beads of water on it. However there is no steam at this point. I notice an electricity socket and hear a buzzing. I think how I will not be able to stand that noise, but it stops immediately. I guess the modern interior is a disappointment, it's bright rather than dark and the new materials carry little intensity or energy, as darkness and rock would have.
I guess the most compelling thing was the sight of the two mounds. Later I am with the girl, we are wearing very heavy gold ankle bracelets possibly of lots of bells or beads that are zipped on. I arrange us taking them off as I need to go home..

Now it just so happens I was at such a site yesterday.. But saw no sweat lodges.. But did see similar, but much larger, single mound that was an old tomb/ritual space.

44
Dream Interpretation / Dream character questions
« on: March 06, 2016, 10:44:14 AM »
A guy I feel really attracted to in real life appears in my dream:
First he is on the edge of a circle of people chatting and I think we'll never get to speak. Then he's suddenly sitting directly opposite me looking into my eyes and asks me 'when did you fall in love with nature?' 'Never' I say, 'I was always in love'

In a later part is of the dream a movie director I vaguely know appears:
He's standing in a muddy field on a grey wet day, surveying the scene probably for a shoot. He greets me as I approach and we are close to huge old trees. He asks 'Why do you do tarot and go to healers when the trees know everything?' I say that I know they do - 'I try to listen but I'm just not able to hear them' then I put my hand on the tree and feel it's energy and confirm I still can only feel energy and not get anything more. I say 'I use the tarot because at least it gets energy moving' then I walk through a spread that's lain out on the ground by the tree. (I don't really read tarot myself, though I have a fair understanding, I just watch some readers on YouTube)

Though we are outdoors, he has just lit two fires in fireplaces beside each other, on the left burning slabs of coal, on the right wood.

Then a vague sense of female characters arriving, dressed in black, not a friendly energy, self-absorbed and rather bitchy vibe from them. They go to a table to the left of the fires, chatting.  Shame as the fireplace imagery would have been a comforting point to end!

45
Dream Interpretation / The writing desk
« on: March 05, 2016, 01:41:52 PM »
Police are encouraging me to trust them and talk, I feel a mix of hope, and fear that they are not trustworthy and fooling me..a man present among them I've met in real life and I suspect to be particularly untrustworthy (though in my dream last night he was also present and trying to help me) I go home, on the sheet of my bed I see an ant, I brush it off, then another and another, an infestation of flying ants..I feel panic and disgust, I wake.

I am in another house, also my bedroom, my bedroom has been filled with junk ('just for now'..no permission asked, by my sister). I feel invaded and powerless. Suddenly in the middle of the room a huge highly ornate carved (dark wood close to black in tone) antique writing desk appears, it's quite over-the-top but still pretty, with loads of tiny drawers and nooks. On the first level a small piano keyboard is embedded to the right, about 1-2 octaves, that lifts up to a large writing area.. There may be a connection to a little girl. There is a sense of magic at its appearance.

I hear noise and look out, an extension is being built on a house across the road, again I feel exasperated, invaded, at the mercy of others and I just long for peace and quite.

Now I am outside with others, someone is pushing a silver/steel metal chair on wheels. Then it turns out I've won Miss Universe, though I'm just dressed as normal me and in no way glamorous. Apparently the chair is for the winner. So I sit in it and then go flying at incredible speed downhill, but never out of control. I smile shyly, as others watch me pass, even though I know I'm not pretty I am happy to accept this and make the most of it.

 (The night before I dreamt I was holding my own face in my hands, but as if I was someone else. I was looking at this face, thinking how raw, fragile, utterly imperfect it was, its vulnerability struck me deeply, but that there was no choice..this was it..this raw red face was mine and I'd better get on with it. I don't know why it was red, maybe echoing a newborn baby..)

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