Messages

121

Dream Interpretation / Re: Wasp

« on: January 21, 2016, 09:26:02 PM »

Thank-you Tony.

I am trying to take ownership of the energies in my life  - but I battle against the idea that I AM always all these energies. I feel that sometimes people do represent themselves - esp if it's a processing at work, eg gaining greater awareness of family dynamics. Though I will also have absorbed those relationships into my inner world and inner self-understanding.

Waking world: I think we are separate beings with individual agency in duality. And as someone who has been very 'enmeshed' with others. I need to first find solid footing in being an individual. It can get very confusing until you know how to carefully be aware of your role in dynamics - you may be attracting aggression - but you are not that energy. You are the energy of 'receiving aggression' . I have been deeply confused by this in the past, feeling I could not set boundaries on poor behaviour - because after all their energy was mine!


Dream world: I regularly forget to apply the concept of myself being all the energies & it is very helpful when I am guided back to this way of approaching the dream - I feel it is accurate in the dream world. And people appear because of your need to integrate something they represent to you.

Reflecting now, I see the swinging between opposites that you pointed out is very interesting.
In the dream I don't trust the energy I am sensing, my 'do-good' training over-rides my instincts...an intense need to always be the good helpful person.  In waking life a recurrent experience for me has been that of exposing myself to dangerous characters and not being able to follow gut instinct.

So yes a belief is causing this pattern - but the belief was formed over years and years of repeated experience, so it has quite a gravitational force and will not be undone without contextual beliefs also changing. Eg I need to believe I am more important than the insect and that my feelings about it may contain valuable information.

So there are two stances possible to take (a) I should not fear anything ever (b) sometimes fear is just useful information

This is my current approach - never dismiss a fear or emotion - thank it for the message it brings. If I were to relive the dream I would say to myself 'trust your fear'


Once I developed my ability to consciously hear and take on board the fear - my next stage would be to find a more empowered expression of myself in the dream. Because on another level I am the dream maker - but I am also my undeveloped unintegrated psychic energies that need what they need.

I am trying very hard to make specific distinctions here - because I spent a long time mired in confusion.
Perhaps these distinctions are really only important to my particular path..?  what do you think of this?

122

Dream Interpretation / Re: Screaming

« on: January 20, 2016, 06:46:39 PM »

Hi Anna. Thanks for your reply.

I will try respond from where I am my perspective on the points you make.

Emm it's hard to see my dream life as a choice, seeing as it comes from the unconscious which I don't believe I control. I feel the inner child is doing what she needs to do. And she is bringing my conscious mind to a time I don't consciously remember.

I don't see this as changing the past, but as changing energies 'present' inside me. What is the past/present/future only all 'now'.

I feel the path has come partly from Life Will and partly the needs of this inner energy/child. Consciously I have been working with Life Will in my waking adult life for a while and I expect this will start to influence my unconscious worlds.

I will take a look at your suggestion, working with these inner parents and read through all the links in the next few days. If the inner parents told her she was loved? Emm I think the need for safety protection is more immediate than love, she needs to stay alive in order to receive love.


I feel confronting them is huge engagement for this kid already.. so in other ways I think I could also let her get on with it. But I guess actively working with the inner figures might activate a transformation of some kind.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply Anna

Best Wishes

123

Dream Interpretation / Re: Screaming

« on: January 19, 2016, 02:58:23 PM »

Thanks for your reply Tony.

 I don't see how this child could be seen as a victim though, she is being so assertive and brave and demanding and she is consciously assessing the terrible limitations of her care-takers..

**[actually reading back I see how in my 'telling of the dream' I may appear helpless - but the energy was quite the opposite, it was in no way downtrodden or giving up - it was demanding in tone - she is shouting for justice. Full of energy and self-determination - but the situation is too powerful for her]

I'm going to expand here a bit as it may be of use to others.,

Yes I am an adult now, but in this dream I am that child self, and the dream very accurately re-presents past experience.

Do I feel I have the power of self-help? Well it's a process by increments.

Throughout my life whenever I have sought even the tiniest shred of help or compassion, I was told I was 'being a victim' and thus shamed into silence. And that is from probably since I could speak.  That has been incredibly confusing - because it turns out I was probably the only one who really had reason to call out in pain. I have since learned this is a common ploy to silence the abused, along with invalidating their experience so that they don't trust their perception of reality, or the truth of what has happened to them.

I think the greatest help I could give this child is validation. And that's what I'm starting to do. Every time I'm told I'm 'being a victim' it's like a wormhole I get sucked down into and I have long journey to claw my way back up to 'hey maybe just maybe I have a reason to look back in anger'. Maybe I suffered intensely through being tiny and powerless - but that's not the same as 'feeling sorry for yourself'.

 I don't think Power can come before truth and its validation (for those of us dramatically lacking this).. but empowerment will come as a result of it.

Maybe you don't have the same associations with the world 'victim' as I do?
But I've always associated it with weakness, lacking backbone, self-pitying, laziness, someone who could easily change things but don't, lacking any willpower..

So I think this little girl is feisty and doing as much as is possible in a child's body.

I know the next level is to change the outcome, but I guess she has some battles to fight to get there.

124

Dream Interpretation / Wasp

« on: January 19, 2016, 11:11:43 AM »

I am wearing very high heels, a kind I wouldn't wear and find over the top. My sisters tell me to take them off that they are awful, I do and realise I only have an old pair of runners or slippers. I think well it would be disrespectful to be at a wedding in casual footwear and I put back on the heels despite the pressure and disapproval from my sisters. (Perhaps this is the dream self following advice you gave to allow itself be the centre of atttention - for this is probably what the sisters do not like, and the dreamself realises there are other condiderations beyond placating her sisters) One sister is wearing a dress that copies mine, but she is overweight and I feel her anger about my figure manifested in the copying, though her surface is all cheery. 

I find an oblong seed, it's tiny. It drops on the floor and becomes a tiny insect, a green shield (stink) bug, I decide it needs moisture (it's my nature to always help)  and I use my saliva and it starts to come to life. Then I get scared that the insect will be a negative force and able to control me through my 'life energies' in the spittle. So I get a glass of water (still bringing it to life) Suddenly it turns into a very very angry wasp which starts to attack me with absolute determination, I throw the glass of water at it, but it's so easy for it to avoid it, as if I and the water are just slow motion to the wasp. I spin round clutching my hood over my head, trying to keep my face protected.

125

Dream Interpretation / Screaming

« on: January 18, 2016, 08:58:13 PM »

I am sitting on the carpet a man comes and catches my shoulder in an iron grip, I am screaming and screaming but I am ignored. I scream and then become more in control, enough to call out 'Help me someone help me'. It's the 'whole body' scream of a child.

I then manage to run to the kitchen in desperation I run to my parents at the table and stand between them demanding their attention (this is unusually assertive of me) I beg for help but they still manage to ignore me and avoid eye contact. My father laughs in a very mocking tone and tells me I'm making a big deal about nothing, though in reality that would be a response much more likely from my mother. I look into their eyes and see only a 'dumb' look and a determination not to acknowledge me.  Im disgusted as I thought the problem was that no-one knew I needed help, but here I am begging for it & it turns out not even that works. I am in danger and no one will help me.

126

Dream Interpretation / Re: Animus

« on: January 15, 2016, 11:17:47 AM »

Thanks Tony. I'll try that.

Meanwhile the saga continues.

This dream I am a teenager and going out with a very intelligent but 'in the background' black haired boy.
We haven't kissed and we really want to be friends and allies first and foremost.
We're in a bedroom 3-4 of my girl friends are dressed in white towelling robes, white towels on their heads and lying in a white bed. There is a nasty jealous vibe from them, suddenly I just lose it and shout 'You can be such total bitches sometimes! ' they are surprised but don't know whether to take me seriously. I walk out with the boy, he's concerned Ive burned my bridges and school life will be very difficult for me now. I tell him I'm not worried anymore that I've realised that people like that only respect anger and I will be able to brush it off.

Then I realise I'm a teacher now and think I've got to stop this connection as he's only a teenager.
Then I'm in a doorway hundreds of school children, it's pouring rain outside.. I challenge an 8yo boy to a race in the rain but he doesn't want to get wet. I want to run in the rain, it's not clear of Im an adult at this point.

Then I'm a teacher, someone gives me a ridiculously packed work schedule. Then I'm in the toilets, I am unfolding an over-coat and looking at it, it has beautiful colourful wool lining, as if woven on a loom, one pattern inside the main body another pattern inside the sleeves.

I guess this male figure is quite asexual, but also he is neither attention seeking nor needy. Again a development!

127

Dream Interpretation / Re: Animus

« on: January 14, 2016, 09:45:27 AM »

Ok thankyou Tony. It seems it will continue to develop in my dreams. Re past lives, I have been told that in many previous lives I've been both very rich and very poor, but always under someone's control..   Well that fits - that  it should be my battle, to find my freedom/power and get out from under controlling influences, whether that be emotional manipulation or sexual assault.

Last night's dream: I am walking beside a very good looking macho man, my partner, he strides ahead of me through crowds, he loves the attention & goes out of his way to be the centre of it. I'm embarrassed people will see me as 'under his thumb' which I am or at least I am partnered to and accept my somewhat demeaning status in relation to a very vain person. He just sees me as a 'foil to his beauty'

Now I'm watching a black haired woman and a very unconfident blond man. (Over the past months the black haired women that stand out in my dreams included: bitter angry characters, a pregnant girl who hung herself, a girl with a scar across her throat ear to ear who clearly had tried to kill herself..)  They are lying down clothed in an embrace. She seems quite volatile and angry. He's asking her for a commitment and she is frustrated she clearly finds him weak and needy, which he is, I doubt he offers her anything but drawing off her energy. She then asks him to go swimming in a pond and drowns him!!


Emm interesting, I think this is the first time the woman has killed the man. There have been many assaults and a few murders, but always the man as the perpetrator.

128

Dream Interpretation / Re: Animus

« on: January 13, 2016, 11:34:51 AM »

Thank you Tony. Ha I love the idea of it being such a 'relationship' where we may fight etc..makes it very grounded.

I would love to read about integrating the animus after abuse.  You see now I think about it, the man coming into the women's toilet reflects two real life experiences of being followed in to female toilets where I thought I would be safe, one tried to assault me, the other did and looking back, my life was probably in danger.


Perhaps a different interpretation of male figures applies to a person with my background?
In light of this history perhaps it was good I was keeping this man out...-rejecting negative male energy.
That instead I should aim to trust more the guy in the car who clearly wanted to help me? But he seemed a bit cosseted by the comfort of his own life/status (unquestioned privilege) and was a bit self-involved and not really seeing me.
In life, one repeating issue has been the inability to distinguish dangerous men, from genuine kind men, or just unconsciously gravitating towards the abusive.

However a complicating element of my own story is, men presenting themselves as kind & helpful towards me, used it as a way to get through my defenses and be abusive.

Even more common were men presenting themselves as vulnerable and in need of kindness. (eg 'I'm going to kill myself if you don't talk to me...I'm so lonely nobody cares about me..')  they get me into an isolated position, then the inevitable attack.

I've been searching for reading on this specifically related to the animus and women who have suffered a lot of abuse, but haven't found much.

(I watched the streetwise vid thanks. It reminds me of a course I attended on Native American Medecine and we 'called' for personal symbols within tight parameters to appear to us during the week. The results were so dramatic I just had to laugh! It was amazing.) though it has to be a ritual, otherwise the endless metaphors of reality are just too much and too confusing

129

Dream Interpretation / Animus

« on: January 12, 2016, 10:13:38 AM »

Hi Tony, please tell me if I shouldn't post so many dreams, or if I should just wait for bigger more intense dreams, but here is one from last night.

I am being driven in an open topped sports car by a famous guy. In real life he's someone I have viewed as obnoxious and an outspoken idiot, but in the dream he is very grounded. He says its a pity it didn't work between us, as in our connection didn't quite have the ingredients to become romantic, but that I'm a very special person. He gives me very intelligent and grounded compliments, He clearly has a lot of money. He says I'm like several of his friends who he hopes will marry and reels off some more compliments.

Meanwhile I don't mention it, but I have about four miles more to go to get home and I don't know how I'll get there, I have no money or transport. I am too embarrassed to ask for further help. I feel mild despair.

I go to the toilets a man tried to come in and I point out that it's only for ladies. A girl from school is working behind the counter in the cafe but clearly doesn't want me to see her working there, so I pretend not to notice, I go outside, people are waiting for music to start, I try to get through the crowd expecting the music to be awful, but it's very sweet and beautiful when it begins.

Did my animus just break up with me? 

130

Dream Interpretation / Re: Repeating character

« on: January 11, 2016, 10:39:49 AM »

That is a distinction I had not thought about regarding feelings - personal vs core.
thank-you.

Not development, but revealing, yet there's the conundrum. Just accept my particular life has its own growth process and timing..

Ah me and my striving.. Ha ha ok I'll let go for  today 
Then everything changes, like the being silent in nature you spoke about
The storm of personal emotions quietens..and I can listen..

 
Thankyou Tony

131

Dream Interpretation / Re: Repeating character

« on: January 11, 2016, 09:40:51 AM »

Thanks Tony. I'm not sure how to do this!  How to be powerful.. Courage isn't even the answer, it takes courage to keep going in abusive situations, but that's not power..

i'm hoping somehow, something is happening inside me, in the process between my conscious and unconscious, my animus and the lion.. That the power is developing somehow.. Perhaps it is this process of valuing the unconscious, of allowing repressed emotions and memories, I will come into my power.

132

Dream Interpretation / Re: Repeating character

« on: January 10, 2016, 11:41:18 AM »

Ha!  Well x didn't appear in this dream, but it does seem connected... last night I was on a bus and looked at my hand and saw a huge engagment ring, but I wasn't sure who I was engaged to..  An attractive married guy was sitting beside me and I was wondering could I still kiss him as I'm not married yet.

And then when I took the ring off to look at it, it was different - cheaper than the first image, a base metal sprayed in silver. There was a second diamond embedded inside the band (I had this in a previous ring dream a small diamond embedded inside the band) then I realised I had gotten engaged to a young guy I met in real life who was mad about me but he was way too young. In the dream I thought, well it's ok its not expensive as he hasnt much money but it was a real let-down.. (In waking life I constantly attract men with money problems, they usually manage to take money from me,  though I've never had much) So my conscious feeling about it, is that a cheap ring is not ok.

Then I put my headphones back in and turned up the music - a sort of 'I don't know what's going on here I'm just going to sit back and relax'

Then a huge lion jumped on the roof of the bus, not attacking it just asserting its power. It had a thick mane and was a really beautiful creature. The perspective I now had would imply I was sort of suspended mid-air above to the side, watching this powerful lion on the bus, with a city in the background. (In fact reminds me a bit of a daylight version of the city that appeared on an island in a recent dream).

When I woke I felt awful.. I tried to meditate to find its source and to try relieve it.

It seemed this particular bad feeling was from repeated disappointments, people setting up expectations and not following through.
People using me for gain. After about 30min it began to lighten, then I felt angry at how unjust the dynamic is that I keep reliving. I feel the attitude to the cheap ring was the trying to be positive in the face of more disappointment and the lion is like this force that's saying F*** that nonsense. Don't be 'positive', stoic.. be angry, be powerful..

133

Dream Interpretation / Re: Mirror

« on: January 08, 2016, 01:35:10 PM »

This is wonderful thankyou. I have done this, stopping, being really still and nature jumping into life around me - but now to connect it to my own (psychic) energies and the world I live in - Amazing.

134

Dream Interpretation / Re: Repeating character

« on: January 08, 2016, 01:30:26 PM »

Thanks Tony! I think dreams are so powerfully real - that I sometimes find it hard to breakaway and get a detached perspective, though I should be able to do that. Your feedback is always so helpful and I feel very privileged to be able to receive and benefit from it.

So on reflection absolutely - my inner male. Helpful male figures in my dreams have been very very rare, so it's been quite a change to have this supportive person appear. That's probably why I'm also very hesitant about him and waiting to see if he really is a good person. Normally the male characters in my dreams attack me.

My associations with the real-life character are very positive, I admire: His zest for life, his humour, his confronting 'BS' through mockery rather than anger, his good looks, his fearlessness, his success, his sense of fun, his presenting himself to the public and receiving positive feedback and lots of love. However I also find him a bit over focused on sex, he has intimacy issues and probably identifies himself a lot with his success and public image, he's possibly lacking peace.

So let's see what happens next..what new decisions will be made by my self in the dream world...

Thanks again Tony 

135

Dream Interpretation / Repeating character

« on: January 07, 2016, 08:04:17 PM »

Hi Tony. I'm wondering what it means when a character repeats in the dream world, over a few months, but the dreams are different not recurring, it's a famous character.

1: Our first meeting he just kept saying my name and how happy he was to meet me as if he knew who I was. I'm embarrassed but realise I feel a lot of warmth towards him and to my surprise I actually enjoy the attention (normally attention is very stressful for me).
2: he comes to my place of origin and proposes we be together romantically, he's really certain and determined and carrys my bags for me while we walk and I try to decide how I feel about it and about him..
3: He is leading me across rooftops and I'm amazed that I trust him and follow him despite my vertigo, I jump from a large height onto the ground with his encouragement, he disappears through a cat flap into a house and opens a bedroom window for me to enter and some super friendly kittens appear on the window sill which I pet while I decide whether to enter or not. Then I'm sitting at a large table with him and others (a really sad girl and a really happy girl) the house belongs to an older lady who looks after 'lost souls' she's kind. Then he passes me in just a towel smiling and I'm a bit annoyed that he keeps trying to get my attention in a romantic way.
4: Im sitting at a table having dinner with my dad, best friend from childhood and this guy again. Then Im washing dishes and I make sure they are completely clean. My friend approaches me at the sink, she is upset because she realises her mother lied to her about something really serious that happened in her childhood. I'm telling her I just remembered that incident the previous night and wrote about it in my journal and that I also think her mother was wrong and dishonest to do so. The guy is really silent and serious this time and listening with the gravity it deserves. His head is bowed listening carefully. I go back to the table and I'm told she has disappeared, run off, as she was so upset. A girl with makeup is there now, I guess I'm wary of her..

I have no personal connection with the real life character, this dream character plays.  Though it's not impossible I would meet him one day through mutual acquaintances. I do think he's attractive in real life, but I think that about lots of people. I don't understand why the same person keeps appearing.. I've often dreamt of famous people, but never in a series of dreams like this.,

I wonder what you make of it Tony?