Messages

16

Dream Interpretation / Re: Massacre

« on: December 30, 2018, 09:22:22 AM »

Hi Tony, thanks so much for your reply and sharing of thoughts.

I do just see the animus or whatever that energy could be called, as a part of me. Yes that's the problem, there are aspects of me outside of my conscious awareness, but I guess this massacre is helping open up those energies.

You speak about limitations in time and body, things to learn.. that's the journey I guess. Knowing that on an ultimate level we are very powerful, does not take away the lessons of the limitations we are working through though.

I think I'm discovering that healing is to get as deeply involved with the emotions of dreams and life as possible, to take each emotion seriously and honour it.

Last night I had a dream I was planting flowers with special colour combinations to create harmonious vibrations, in rich dark soil at an artists retreat. I went back moments later and they had all been uprooted and stolen. I was devastated, I tried to tell a few people what happened, even the director, no one cared about my upset or the theft of the flowers or the bad behaviour of the person who did it or the beauty that had been lost. This for me is like you outlined above, being the last to recognise the causes of a constant struggle. Theft on many levels has been an ongoing theme.

Does knowing we are powerful on an ultimate level help? Not unless we are actually powerful in terms of the energies that hurt us.
I am stealing from myself if all is one, but this is duality and all is not one.
While on an ultimate level, perhaps nothing can be taken from me, but loss and suffering does occur in experience.
If you focus your intelligence and courage on a recurring problem, the hope would be a resolution.
Face up to it in the all-is-one of dreams? That's the route I'm trying!

Best Wishes for the holidays and new year Tony!

17

Dream Interpretation / Serenade

« on: December 03, 2018, 11:19:16 AM »

As it's about the male figure again. I'll add last nights dream.

I am homeless, lying in a sleeping bag on the street. I don't feel ashamed, just glad the weather is good and I've a nice spot. A happy dynamic girl (like an acquaintance of mine) comes bounding by and holds out an ice cream to me, then whips it away. She laughs but not cruelly, only in a 'hey there are ice creams for sale' kind of way. I don't move, I don't want to lose my spot, they are hard to find. Then a young handsome guy comes and when he sees me his face just lights up. I recognise him, we seem to have spoken before, he takes out a stringed instrument and starts to serenade me, singing and playing expertly. He's French. I think, ah, wealthy background, no one plays like that without years of tuition.. then I see he's looking straight into my eyes like he's completely in love. He's kind, pure, humble, talented not a liar or conman.  It's really an  amazing feeling to receive that affection.

I try to look back, but it's difficult, I do, but I can't help feeling he doesn't know me and maybe he's just infatuated with an idea of me. When he finishes I hug him, now he is small, his head resting on my chest. Now a tall guy arrives who is paying me interest too, and the first guy starts to get jealous, it's stressful and I don't know where I stand within it all, or what to do. Also it's weird they don't reject me for being homeless..Now I'm in a large stylish empty meeting space with the tall guy. He is someone from real life who has the potential to give me work. I turn a chair around from being audience to facing the audience, I can do this, I tell myself, trying to convince myself my confidence won't fail me

Now I'm being questioned by women over some work I've done, their energy is scarey, I try to appear confident so they don't see me as an easy target, but I've had so many bullying experiences by women, I'm sure they are going to make my life miserable somehow. I don't know how to outwit them or stop it happening.. Now there's about 15 women all dressed in expensive clothes, talking talking, I'm quietly present in the background, overwhelmed by their intensity and alert to their competetive edges.

I'm with a girl high up in hills, she's showing me a neat small backpack she has, we chat about how helpful it is to have the perfect bag when you are travelling around. The bag is black, with pretty detail, maybe some gemstones sewn in.

Later I'm on a bus returning from a film shoot with some girls and Robert De Niro, the girls are all complaining about having to get a bus, Robert De Niro despite being the big star, doesn't seem to care about being sent on budget travel. I can see he's seen it all and done it all before. Though I wonder has he actually fallen on hard times, because in that case, he has no choice either..

18

Dream Interpretation / Re: Massacre

« on: December 03, 2018, 10:21:30 AM »

.

19

Dream Interpretation / Massacre

« on: December 01, 2018, 03:08:32 PM »

I can't remember all the dream. I only remember this bit. I am in a huge auditorium not too far from the entrance, mostly empty but several people milling around, maybe concert goers in their 20s/30s. Suddenly I notice a tall young man beside me on my right, literally inches away, in a long coat, longish hair and he starts shooting people. At first I'm frozen in shock/awe at what is unfolding right in front of me. He shoots a guy several times in the head, it's so vivid and shocking, the guy is lying on the ground right in front of me. The man keeps shooting, on it goes 4,5,6 people down, it's so fast. I can sense his enjoyment, how happy he feels doing this. Finally I pull myself together and make a run for the exit, I'm sure it will be locked, my hands are shaking, but it opens easily. As I exit a couple enter, they seem super relaxed and romantic, the girl is pretty, Asian, long shiney hair.  I hear the killer shout out a welcome to them, something like 'you're here at last'. I don't know if they are about to be murdered or if they are accomplices. I guess the former. I wake up with with the feelings of horror and fear.

I fall back asleep, I'm in a city, the streets are empty nearly everyone has been killed. I brush past rails of hundreds of coats belonging to the deceased. There's very little food. By the coats, maybe as a shop assistant, an Asian woman stands, older, a dark closed off expression. Beside her a dog or cat is roasting on a spit over a fire.. it's all there is to eat. I wake again.

So if he's my animus, we'll..he's pretty angry..

20

Dream Interpretation / Re: Movie

« on: December 01, 2018, 02:57:32 PM »

 

21

Dream Interpretation / Re: Movie

« on: November 04, 2018, 10:26:06 AM »

Yes I thought you might say that. I do understand what you say. 
But as I've had years of flashbacks, I do need to sometimes treat the dreams as not being metaphors, because many of my worst dreams turned out to be actual memories of childhood experiences that had been repressed.
That would not be the case for this dream however.
Perhaps in this dream it's more the case that I was trying to include this angry part of myself, trying to open communication with it.
 (Cowering does invite attack, but with certain people/energies, showing strength or confidence, invites greater attack. It's a power play, if you don't show submission, they'll come after you with full force. I understand Int he dreamworld  - this does not apply...) )


I am reading through the link to Summing Up, it's good to read all this information together, fab thank you.
And thanks for all your replies Tony


Actually have you written anywhere about flashbacks and memories? I'd love to read if you have..

22

Dream Interpretation / Re: Castle

« on: November 04, 2018, 12:21:37 AM »

Thank you Tony. That rings true, these rock stone carvings that come into my dreams..
The ancient self..I guess I've never consider that as something real.
But it definitely 'feels' right for how these rocks feel.

23

Dream Interpretation / Movie

« on: October 28, 2018, 09:27:13 AM »

I'm watching a movie in a large concert hall. I'd come to see live music. When I arrived I was disappointed to see a guy I know to be very competetive with me, no matter how uncompetitive I am. I feel my body shiver from his horrible energy, I walk past with my head down hoping he doesn't try talk to me.  I'm annoyed they are putting on a movie, I was looking forward to the music, I didn't want to see a movie. It's a horrible one too. It's about a serial attacker who goes around cutting people's tongues out.

There are lots of close ups of tongues being dropped onto tables etc, but there is no blood and they look very healthy and clean and I think one at least is covered in fine grains of sugar. Now I'm a part of the movie, I'm outside in the late evening, it's cold, getting dark. I'm sitting at a small table and a young sinister man in his early twenties is standing nearby. He's the attacker. I do my usual 'kind person' thing, worry he is cold and try to get him to sit with me, where there is shade from the wind and where it is warmer.. of course I feel good about myself as I do this..

When I wake I'm scared and angry, here I go again, being oblivious to danger, inviting connection where other people would run a mile. 'Give what you wish to receive'  those simplistic philosophies are hard to shake, and cause a lot of trouble. My instincts, my compass around danger, broken. And all those tongues, so disturbing.

Tongue..I'm just a piece of meat. Eat me. I'm a childhood sweet. Nothing to see or hear here. Now I'm free out in the light and fresh air.
Man.. I hate, I hate, I hate. Everyone just shut uuuup. I'm the king around here. Shut your mouths.
Me the woman.. I'm afraid. Afraid afraid. The only way I can keep safe is not to anger this man, try pconnect with him somehow, otherwise he'll kill me next.

Ok now I feel differently about the dream behaviour, in fact it was probably the best approach. If someone very dangerous is near, better not show your fear, better try make things normal, nice etc.. offer them a cup of tea. Try neutralise their aggression.

24

Healing Dreams / Physical impact of dreams

« on: October 27, 2018, 01:20:25 PM »

Over the course of several years, I've suffered a series of relentless intense nightmares/flashbacks. In the last year of the dreams I would have stronger and stronger physical symptoms on waking. First it was my heart, racing like it would jump out of my chest or break.

Then I started to experience other powerful sensations on waking, often down my left side, as if I'd been electrocuted during the course of the dream. I would always wake with a shock out of some nightmare. Then this developed to waking to a feeling that my heart had experienced a type of electrocution via the dream and I'd wake just in time for my body to recover from it.

Last night I had a dream where I was actually happy. I can't remember the last time I felt like this in a dream, it must be years. I was at some launch party. I saw two girls who had been friends years ago, but it took me a long time to realise they were very selfish and never cared about me. In the dream I mentally reminded myself to be careful and not let them suck me in. I avoided eye contact and walked quickly by them. Then someone offers me plates of cheese, then I go into the main room and there's gorgeous cheese everywhere.  Now some famous film actor is joking with me, he points to a piece of cheese on my plate and says 'I love that one', then steals some of it, we laugh a lot about it, there's just a feeling of mirth and being in equal and safe  company. I walked on and had the awareness within the dream of how truly happy I felt.

 As soon as I had this thought, I woke up and felt very disturbed. I couldn't remember the dream initially, I had intense feelings in my body, I could feel 'electricity' running through my heart - this time it wasn't terror, but it still made me feel very vulnerable. It was still an intense physical sensation of movement/electricity in the heart that I had no control over and was 'happening to me'

25

Dream Interpretation / Re: Castle

« on: October 26, 2018, 08:32:28 PM »

Last night, I arrive somewhere, meet my friend, her boss could be a really helpful work contact, but she makes no effort to greet me, ignores me and gets in her car and drives away. I'm a bit embarrassed to be completely ignored like that.

Now I'm still outside, near some really ancient stone collection, there's a voice saying I'm the leading expert on these ancient rocks. I feel really annoyed, i don't want to be the expert, what use is it? I'm poor, completely broke and here's more esoteric/spiritual stuff that won't solve any of my life problems.

 I walk on, I see ancient carvings on the stones, some are very large, some small,  one stone is a very old  female statue broken in half, but the break occurred a long time ago. Now I notice I am in a garden centre, it's very neglected, the stones are in here too, but the garden centre has a damp neglected unkempt human quality, that the natural world beyond did not have. I'm still annoyed at the 'me and more ancient stones' that seem to have no useful function in my unstable vulnerable  life.

Rocks: I am wisdom. I am breathing.
Carvings: We are energy conductors, communicators, influencers.. one carving is like one word..silently echoing for thousands of years

26

Dream Interpretation / Re: Castle

« on: August 25, 2018, 09:00:02 AM »

Spirit of the rock: I am certainty. I am ability to create. I am laying claim to achievement in the world. I am purity and confidence. I am 'putting it in writing' I am past, present, future. I am unspoiled. I am independent.

Thanks so much Tony!! That's so helpful to me. As ever I really appreciate your replies. For some reason I dream about rock or stone regularly, crystals too.  I also had a dream recently where I discovered a 'stag' that had been made from pebbles placed in a rock face at the summit of a mountain. The energy was powerful magical. My childhood abuser turned up and started interpreting the meaning for me, for the first time ever in my dreams I was able to get rid of him by asserting myself and telling him to leave me alone. A lot of the control he had over me, subsequent to the abuse, was telling me what my reality was, I wasn't sad, I wasn't hurt, I wasn't scared, he was constantly controlling my reality and telling me what was true and what was not. So I mistrusted myself completely and could never get in touch with the truth of my experience. I had a strong dream last year about flying through the sky on a boulder. I usually feel the magical quality in relation to anything to do with rock and stone. Sometimes they also seem to hold messages about the past. In answer to your question, I have no kids. Sexual abuse meant that while I adore children, the thought of bringing a child into the world makes me feel sick.  I suffered so much myself as a child, I couldn't bear to bring a child into the world and not be able to protect them, which I know I couldn't, as I still struggle to protect myself and struggle to survive in the world. So no children for me I'm afraid.

27

Dream Interpretation / Castle

« on: August 18, 2018, 02:19:40 PM »

I am standing inside a handmade greenhouse looking up. Im admiring the effort and intricacy of the painted white wood and small glass panes. There is a slightly abandoned, wild feel to the area. It's a bright sunny summers day. I exit and see a huge stone wall, clearly I'm on the grounds of some big estate. I turn left to go through a break in the wall, when I look up and see a huge boulder hurtling through the sky. It could have hit me or the glass house 'hey that could have hit me' I shout assuming someone had thrown it. But it's too big to be 'thrown'. It landed very precisely on the ground near me and I knew then it was never in danger of hitting anything. There's a certain magical quality to it. It has writing carved on its surface, I can't remember and couldn't read it, but assumed it was the name of the estate. Now I go through the gap and before me is a huge sprawling castle. It's evening now and the castle casts some shade. I'm talking to the owner and he wants to show me the grounds, I say I'd love to see inside but he says it would take over an hour there are so many rooms, I agree to wait til we have more time. Now two children run excitedly towards me a young red haired boy and a blond girl. They are delighted to see me and keep saying how they love holding my hands. Oddly the boy has a full beard which I find disconcerting. I feel quite taken aback with their affection but try to conceal it so they don't feel embarrassed. A posh blond woman who I assume is their mother appears and then along with the owner we all stroll through the castle grounds together.

I felt most happy on my own in the glasshouse and feel quite vulnerable and stressed around the people. What will they want from me?

28

Dream Interpretation / Mountain stream

« on: July 06, 2018, 05:52:02 PM »

I am in a third level institution, someone tells me I'm late for something to do with my job, I just turn around and walk out the door, being in an institution makes me ill, teaching makes me ill. Outside their is a soft rain, I notice geometric clear shapes on the ground, I believe they fell from the sky as exceptionally unusual hail, they look like crystals and I photo them as much as I can before they disappear as I assume they will.

Now I'm walking up a mountain, barefoot, carefree, through a white gushing stream. The stream is flowing along a raised rock platform, as if the mountain created it to elevate this very precious stream, cupping it's waters with perfect precision in its form. The water is pure, fresh and it has created lots and lots of white foam from its cascade, the foam covers a lot of the surrounding area, after a sharp turn upwards I come across 10-15 mountaineers, it's not foam now, but snow and these people have clearly been here a long time stuck in their decent down the mountain, they are scattered about, with most close to death. I am bare legged and hot from my climb, though the climb is very easy. I can't help but laugh and tell them, but just around the corner below there is no snow, it only looks like snow. Don't die here!

The most beautiful part of the dream is the stream. A wonderful joyful feeling and I have the sense that it springs from the very top of the mountain, which is where I am heading for.

29

Dream Interpretation / Re: Ice-covered bridge

« on: May 16, 2018, 10:00:40 AM »

Thanks Tony. Yes I've read through that a few times. I think I will need to accept the process, that what has been fragmented can not be rushed back to wholeness. I feel very very very impatient, but most of this journey has been accepting and trusting in forces greater than I. Thanks for pointing that out about the time taken by others, that helps to know.

There is a development in the nightmares, even if it's just that I'm having them and remembering them and bringing it all to consciousness. Thanks for your feedback! It's a great help, I really appreciate it.

30

Dream Interpretation / Photo colours

« on: May 16, 2018, 09:52:47 AM »

Within other more nondescript dreams I had this one. I'm walking near a mountain I know, on a winding country lane, I notice a bright purple-magenta  light and assume it's the sun and dawn arriving. It's a line across the horizon perhaps due to cloud. It's compelling to see such a different coloured light. I take out my phone to take photos, then it gets brighter and starts to emerge in a sun shape. I look at my phone and it's only captured very poor shots with light speckled all over the shot. Perhaps it was too strong a light for the camera to process. Then the same scene is repeated more or less, but this time the light is a strong pink. What was striking in each case was the intense colour of the light, not pale but very rich and intense.

I then bump into some associates at a cafe, I tell them 'there's intrigue in the Catholic church' as if I'm involved in uncovering it. But I don't think I am. (In real life I know the Church is so corrupt even a conversation about it would bore me)

Then the next night among other bits of dreams I dreamt I was looking at the sun, in a rich red sky, the whole sky completely red.. I can't explain the emotion maybe a bit sad. It was fairly low key. The colours had the same intensity as the night before. I was singing along with some other voice and it sounded nice, then I took a note and just held it singing it long and sustained and this sun in a red sky appears, almost as if I'd conjured it,

After that, someone was marking with a pen, the note I'd sang translated into French words. They were interviewing me for a job it seemed, it surprised me as I hadn't applied for anything. They do criticise the grammar, but it's tiny mistakes. They both seemed a bit disorganised, a male boss who was lazy and a female staff member running around. In the dream I was flattered they seemed to want me and surprised at how good my French was, but I wasn't that bothered about working for them.