Messages

151

Dream Interpretation / Re: Healing

« on: November 18, 2015, 10:57:58 AM »

Thankyou Tony. My plan is to take the supplements you recommended and go to the doctor and ask for blood tests and a Coeliac test if they can do that.

As for the feelings, it's a full time job and I'm doing everything I know how to heal them, dream work, image work.. 

And this week For the first time I tried some spontaneous movement. Amazingly, when I couldn't find your book that I had bought, a dancer turned up looking for people to join in an experiment, which turned out to be spontaneous movement..
With the spontaneous movement I was surprised to find that instead of pain, lots of love come up, love for the walls, for the floor, for the sofa.. Ha!! 

152

Dream Interpretation / Healing

« on: November 17, 2015, 09:38:04 AM »

Hi Tony, was going to put this in the healing section.. Not sure where to post this. So hope it's ok here.
I've asked my dreams for help with my health, but I've never been able to get much from what came.
I've had three years of ill health. Physically I used to always have good health! But for three years sciatica and fatigue have dogged me. I've tried juicing, parasite cleanses, removal of dental amalgam, yoga, mediation, some image work.. Sciatica currently at bay, fatigue an ongoing issue.

Last night I asked 'Dear Unconscious, How can I have vibrant health?'

I am driving on a very new motor way it has two lanes (each direction), one for 'coeliacs'.. I am on the left in the general lane, the coeliac lane is on the right (where a fast lane would be) it's a light green colour. It seems to be a sort of emergency lane to get to hospital quickly.
Then I'm in a hospital room, I look in the toilet bowl and there's a huge bug submerged in the urine there, possibly dead. Then either it flies out or another one similar appears, like a giant colourful daddy long legs but more scary and aggressive (it's overall diameter including legs bigger than my head) flying into my face and mouth (I feel it touch my lips) I don't  want to hurt it but as I bat it away from my face its legs fall off until it has hardly any.. I feel disgust at the bug, dismay at the unintend d destruction but what can I do if it won't leave me alone.. I feel invaded vulnerable unprotected

I am hitching on the side of the road, just where I stand a car with an old couple pulls in behind me, they get out, she is naked upper half with some clothes  pressed to her chest. She's all dramatic and annoyed about people passing by while she's trying to get dressed, though she is the one who is in the wrong place for getting changed. I'm annoyed as they could have stopped anywhere and where they stopped they are blocking the traffic view and making it harder for me to get a lift.

 (Today I saw an old lady parked askew in the middle of the road blocking the path of traffic, staring straight ahead, something wrong with her, she looked like the woman in the dream)

I've never really thought about or know about coeliacs, I tried an Alkaline diet for a period, which was good, but I've never regained the type of energy I used to have.
I wonder is the dream just directly telling me this is what is wrong with me.
Any thoughts appreciated. Thank you.

153

Dream Interpretation / .

« on: November 01, 2015, 08:34:37 PM »

.

154

Dream Interpretation / Re: Who's running from who?

« on: November 01, 2015, 08:09:22 PM »

Thank you Tony, I bought one of your books on this... and I've been searching for it.. But I can't find it!
Hadn't even got to read it yet!

I will see if I can start exploring this area..
I think I would find it quite difficult to do, spontaneous movement and speech.. Emm I think you'd need a lot of privacy not to end up embarrassed by being seen or overheard!

155

Dream Interpretation / Re: Who's running from who?

« on: October 19, 2015, 11:56:30 AM »

Thank-you Tony. Both of these help.
Do you think these last two dreams show progress in integrating an autonomous complex?
From being this bitter man, running from him, trapping him...
Is there a general route taken by the process of integrating autonomous complexes?

156

Dream Interpretation / Re: Who's running from who?

« on: October 18, 2015, 10:46:37 PM »

Thank-you Tony, I absolutely identify with the sentiments of this poem! sums up my early life attitude..
 'You are all so so loud and needy and angry and you are all confused as hell, just leave me alone to my peaceful centre here and stop pulling at me, stop needing things from me'

 I'm very up for empowering myself through ownership. But it doesn't make the automatic fear reflex go away.. I'm hoping eventually my dreams will help.

Last night I along with others, was being interviewed by an amateur female radio host, but drowned out by crowd noise in the background. She also didn't know how to get the volume levels right on the desk.  We had to end the interview after a short while because of this. But she was a strong character, a sort of activist type.

 When I was leaving I passed a tubby middle aged man she was holding hostage, she had tied him upside down to a fence, he was furious and shouting, I paused and reflected and decided he probably deserved it and walked on. (In 'being the thing' - he was an incredibly hate filled character and utterly despised women) I then dived into a murky river and retrieved two basket-weave items I had hidden for safety, one a pair of slippers/slip-on shoes.. I then found a shelf above water with my journals and lots of pink and grey cluster crystals, one was a beautiful bright pink. I took my journals and only one crystal as my arms were now full, and turned the rest around to keep them safe and not attract attention from someone who might steal them. A small boat had arrived to bring me back the way I came.

157

Dream Interpretation / Re: Who's running from who?

« on: October 16, 2015, 11:03:44 PM »

Thank-you so much Tony, it's just a relief to read about all of this! I wish I'd come across dreamwork sooner..

Ah yes - I read this dream before, as I have had two dreams with the same thing, my eyes gluing shut, in both dreams  female acquaintances I'd thought were friends were rejecting me, they were very bitter and nasty towards me and I was trying to maintain my cool while feeling crushed by the experience and totally at a loss as to why they would treat me so.

..I forget to mention that the 'General' character was also on the run from the police.

So the summary is:
 'I (as General) am on the run from the police - I (as girl) am rescued by the police and someone else on the run, some criminal I'm afraid of, remains at loose - I (as girl/woman) am on the run from the police (as the police that were rescuing me transform into less powerful figures)'.

Then I'm in the company of two males who see women as something to take advantage of in a powerplay kind of way, they both have a very self-satisfied, arrogant vibe, a bit like the general.

Fascinating to read about autonomous complexes in relation to the General. I'm finally getting the detail I need to make that 'we are everything' phrase make sense to me. Thank you.

Just to mention, the dream began with a young man competing with a very powerful long haired leather-clad warrior type archery at a tree, the warrior guy tolerated him to pass the time, but when done he picked up his leather bags by stabbing a knife into them and picking them up that way.  So lots of male energy in this dream.

Interestingly the night after I had this dream, a very warm, very handsome guy approached me with a beautiful smile when I was out locally - I was so surprised and looked over my shoulder to see who he could be talking to, but it was me, then such fear shot through me, and feelings of worthlessness, I could barely speak and had to get away.

158

Dream Interpretation / Who's running from who?

« on: October 15, 2015, 07:28:39 PM »

Dear Tony, be great to get your feedback again if I can.

Why would I play a character in a dream that is the opposite of my actions in normal life? I don't understand why I would 'be' that energy, rather than interact with them as myself..

In part of the dream I played a power hungry man, a British general who had become a sort of a highwayman. Wearing a red jacket and expensive silky shirt. He was vain, supercilious, greedy and destructive. In 'being the thing' he had all the stunted personality of greed (I did sense an absence of mothering though)  Is he a part of me, or is this just a way of getting a closer look at an energy that has negatively impacted me?

'we are everything' doesn't help me, as that has been a phrase that caused me deep confusion on my path and gave me a sort of sub-genre to the Stockholm syndrome, delaying my process in realising how often I was bullied in so many life situations. I needed then to locate myself within the dynamic, not reflect on the oneness of things.

Later I'm being chased by some dangerous force, I'm young, in a dark forest. The police come to find this person who is causing trouble and I ask them to take me with them, so I can be safe, I'm so relieved to get in the back of the car.

But soon the car turns into a cart, and the police into a poor old man and boy, and now we're being chased by the police! It seems to be just because we are poor and vulnerable and they have power.

Then there's a wealthy man sneaking out from his mansion to have an affair. Then there's a famous actor who loves art and spirituality, but has an abusive demeaning attitude towards women. The dream ends with a friend telling me to give the city another go, I thank him and say 'the problem is so much deeper than that'.

Thank you

159

Dream Interpretation / Re: Dentist

« on: October 12, 2015, 10:14:09 PM »

Thank-you Tony.

 Everyday I'm exhausted from the emotion my dreams bring up. I don't feel lucky, But I'm incredibly lucky that I'm finally, unapologetically, giving myself the time to allow this processing.
The dentist aspect was v traumatising.. Im a singer too, that may be an aspect, being powerless and in danger definitely is.
I seem to have opened a bit of a pandoras box and apart from the dreams I post here, I'm having a lot of trauma surfacing. The mansions and elements of bliss, just seem so outweighed by the other energies..but at least they are there thank god and give me strength..  and it's great to get your feedback. Thank you.

160

Dream Interpretation / Dentist

« on: October 09, 2015, 09:49:52 PM »

Dream starts with me holding this very peaceful and spiritual baby boy walking under trees (after several nights of screaming baby dreams)

I am in a huge house I decide to bath on the first floor, lots of rich wood and glass, the bathroom is invaded by lots of strangers, creative looking types, one starts taking my photo I'm trying to hide my nakedness and get them to leave me my privacy. I fear I won't have the strength in my voice, but then they just leave of their own accord.

I'm on a dentists couch. The dentist is an wonderful singer and academic I met once and I know she's not a qualified dentist, but the procedure is already underway. She takes out one of my wisdom teeth and I'm mad as I know there was nothing wrong with it, then she tried to put it back in, which makes me mad as it's rather late for that.. Then she removed the whole right side of my face, my jaw and cheek and holds it up and it appears as one long flat bloody bone. My head is bandaged, I can she see is nervous and doesn't know what to do, I start to talk to her..mumbling through the blood and discomfort, giving her moral support, saying she can do it, she can figure it out..as I realise I'm totally dependent on her if I am ever to get through this.. I can see she considers calling a colleague who is in the corridor, but cares more for her image than for my health, so she just carries on.. She replaces the bone, the bottom half clicks in, but the upper cheek area remains dislocated.  (This is all very scary and disturbing and remained with me throughout the day..)

A black Italian guy comes in, we are now in an adjacent room, I'm on one hospital couch and they climb on the other and start cuddling and playing footsies. I'm further disappointed in her as I know she is married. The black guy offers me a bowl of rice, but it's ridiculous as I'm all in a mess from the surgery and there's no way I could eat, Is he mocking me? I refuse.

I'm walking along the front of a massive red brick mansion that faces out on a glistening sunlit sea. I'm with the owner who asks his accountant if he has enough money to keep the mansion and he's told yes. He shows me around the ground, leading me along the path. He points out some fig bushes he planted for his neice, I'm amazed to see the green figs are all in the shape of birds about to take flight.

He then shows me to a pale-blue conservatory ( can't rem poss also a pool in there).  A glamorous wife now appears and she happily poses for some photographs. I hide in my usual panic at being near a camera and feel rather miserable that there will never be a nice photo of me as I'm so full of shyness and feelings of ugliness. Then he points out the family pet, which is a very old looking fox. The fox comes bounding towards me with the energy and joy of a puppy. I pet the fox on its belly and all over and it's a feeling of mutual adoration.

161

Dream Interpretation / Re: Windows

« on: October 08, 2015, 06:55:03 PM »

Thank-you Tony, I'm reading my way through these ☺️

The only thing about the 'helpful' men, is that they are people I suspect of abusing me in some way as a child..

As an adult that was always abusers way through my defenses, either playing a victim in need of help, or playing helper..usually something I didn't really need help with..but out of politeness could not refuse.

162

Dream Interpretation / Re: Windows

« on: September 25, 2015, 02:57:32 PM »

Thank you Tony! I get it. Yes. And I really like this idea of life flowing through us.. It's like all the yoga and meditation and reading etc etc.. all are just branches off..pathways in, to the ever present force. So much simpler, so much closer to what I felt in childhood. I do have moments now, where I feel this force carrying me, if not yet flowing through me..

Re my other dreams, is that my anima animus battling it out?
I read a lot about being chased by monsters - but what is being the monster?
And all that broken glass (I had several dreams before this, being injured by glass my self )
And the poisonous stalker woman? Is she anima? Are blondey and nasty women different aspects of anima?
If you are a woman, what's the difference between female character of 'self' and one of 'anima'?

Last night I had a dream, again in a huge house. I hear knocking someone calling and go down. There is a huge hallway and front door, rich dark wood and frosted glass, I can't see who is there, only enough to know it's a girl she's agitated pacing back and forth, I'm scared she's crazy, dangerous. I chose to not open it, even though I know she will have seen I had been standing there. I go back up the broad flight of stairs, red carpet, to a similarly grand wood and glass inner door, then up another flight to a smallish room where I am mending curtains. There are two men with me and I find their presence odd, I didn't want them in my space but I feel I have to accept it when they say they are helping me with the curtains, but I think boys don't know how to sew..

Sorry if it's too many questions, I have read about four of your books and lots of the articles on this site, just working on putting it all together..

Thankyou!

163

Dream Interpretation / Re: Windows

« on: September 24, 2015, 03:27:13 PM »

That's great thank-you Tony. Thank you so much for your response..
Interesting about the windows being perception.. I do feel that as I'm allowing myself to feel my feelings, I'm getting the benefit my natural instincts more, without being confused by religious and new age intellectual distortions.

I think this same character, same age, same blonde hair, same pretty/elegance..may be a development as she's been around before..in the past 6 months..

One - I was a man and she was my partner and I killed her, not graphically just a knowledge I had done so as I looked at her body under the floor boards, I walked down the street feeling unbelievable stress and hoping I wouldn't give myself away as a murderer by my behaviour and get caught..

Another I was this incredibly powerful beast, I somehow attacked this woman, she had been behind slightly mirrored glass in the foyer of a building, the glass shattered and she lay in a pool of blood.. The glass was embedded in my face and hands..I ran out onto the dark street looking for a public garden I usually hide in at night.. I was running with all this glass in my face, I felt huge, a monster, but fearful I would be caught..

Last week. I can barely walk, I'm incredibly weak and my legs are just about to buckle beneath me. Hundreds of migrants are starting to fill the road, I'm afraid I'll be trampled on, I manage to make it to a stairs at the side of a building. On the stairs is a blonde lady talking about how she works in publishing. I'm just relieved to be safe and able to rest, I don't really engage with her.

This week I had a lovely dream about meeting a really nice guy who really wanted to be with me, we were walking by a river homewards, a really nasty female stalker was behind..but I wasn't afraid of her and she seemed to disappear..then I noticed in the river this blonde lady was walking on the surface of the water effortlessly, I was amazed and thought she must be an angel or some very masterful being..but I was kind of acceptant then that she would be doing that and just turned around and carried on walking home with the guy..

Then the dream I mentioned already..

P.S. what does it mean to be a 'bigger person'?  Healers I've gone to say I have great energy. Which confuses me as I've gone to them because I'm suffering.  All my energy has meant in my life so far, is that I attract limpets and people who want to drain me, not praise or appreciate me. My energy does not come from being cherished and protected in my childhood anyway!!
What would actively being this bigger person look like?

164

Dream Interpretation / Windows

« on: September 23, 2015, 10:54:56 AM »

Hi Tony,

Over the course of the past year I keep dreaming about really big windows.

Initially a series of dreams of absolutely massive estate mansions. I was reminded of this again last night when I dreamt of a very big city house, being cleaned out by the female character of the dream, someone she had been looking after for years had finally died she was exhausted but happy to be able to start cleaning out. The house felt dark and stagnant, though it was still quite a nice house.

I went back to her later, outside hundreds of bags of rubbish, the first floor room was freshly painted and had so many windows there was hardly any wall! It was beautiful, all these huge old windows.. and all this clean airy space. It was dark outside but this room seemed to have daylight.

165

Dream Interpretation / Re: Assaults

« on: September 07, 2015, 10:31:28 PM »

By the way it's just amazing that you are here on this forum offering your advice and insight. I feel very lucky to have found it and found your work.