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Messages - Omega

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Dream Interpretation / Re: Ice-covered bridge
« on: May 15, 2018, 07:55:33 PM »
Thank you Tony, I read through the link. Thanks for drawing attention to the energy of fear.

..this was also very helpful from your site. 'To feel fear in a dream means that you have not yet developed abilities to cope with what is symbolised as causing the fear. One of the wonderful things about dreams if you work with them, is that they gradually show you how to deal with the parts of your nature that need to grow or to be healed. They show how to meet the parts of yourself that need release, or to be understood or healed. If it takes courage to meet these buried or painful parts of yourself, then your dreams will gradually take you on a journey that helps you to unfold your resources of courage. You will be enabled to face your fears, and in fact gain power and instruction from them.'

In Nightmares, Isn't the power of the dream the fact I don't know it's a dream? That way I can truly work with my fear. If I were to say,'oh it's just a dream' I lose that opportunity.

Emm, but on the other hand I guess fear, is actually the feeling of powerlessness. And if you can feel 'power' in the dream over what causes fear, such as being able to recognise it's a dream, I guess that's growth of a kind.

A lot of fearseems to me to be lack of nurturance/support/safety and as you say above, not having developed the abilities to deal with the source of the fear. So now in all areas of fear - instead of feel the fear and do it anyway, or raw courage, I'm trying to give myself what I need and build up to a moment of readiness, natural and unforced, I believe it's a sea change.

John Donne
Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;
For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow
Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,
Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee do go,
Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,
And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well
And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleep past, we wake eternally
And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.  :)

Dream: This morning I woke with a tiny snippet of a dream. I am standing beside a tall dark skinned man, possibly Indian, I am positioning his hands on a rifle teaching him how to shoot it, I'm also telling him he has to have a more aggressive facial expression for it to work. He is rather soft and unsure and I'm thinking it will take a bit leap for him to embody the necessary energy.. Seems not even my 'shadow' (?) side is very agresssive!  :-\

Dream Interpretation / Ice-covered bridge
« on: May 13, 2018, 11:03:02 AM »
Very scary. On an incredibly high dark green iron suspension bridge. I'm not sure what part of it I'm on, I seem to be quite high above the part vehicles would use, on some flat part among the upper structure. Proportions are huge and the drop seems to be miles. It's fairly dark, maybe twilight. The bridge is covered in thick ice and it's almost impossible to find secure footing.

A young girl about 7 or 8, is trying to get me to follow her, I refuse. I'm not sure but I think she's pale and  also covered in ice.  Then she falls (I think deliberately) and is clinging to a bar over the edge. I sigh because I think she's trying to trick me to get me to go with her, I go to reach her but she's way out of reach and I refuse to put myself in danger I know I'll fall and I don't trust her, so I pull back and leave her there..I think it also crosses my mind that it's a dream, so she won't die. But at the same time, I see no good reason to let myself fall over the edge.

 I go to the other side of the bridge, a white hand comes up from underneath and grabs my foot, it's a middle age woman like cruella de ville. There's a deeply venomous quality to her, pure hate. She jumps up and is very powerful I struggle and struggle with all my strength against her, the drop below is miles. . It's terrifying. I'm slipping around on this freezing ice and trying to keep this woman off me. I wake with my heart pounding and feeling ill with fear

Reflecting on this I see two energies.
 The frozen child who has a death wish, or wants to lead me somewhere that isn't clear..
The bullying killer that for me associates with 'mother' that also wants me to die
And I am between the two, trying my best to stay alive.

Being the witch - I hate your hope, I hate you are still trying, it's embarrassing, you are an embarrassment, you fool,  just die!
Being the child - I want to float, I want to fly, I don't want to feel any more pain, come with me.

Dream Interpretation / Re: Screaming
« on: April 02, 2018, 09:10:51 PM »
..to find 'disagreement' with all beliefs that are 'life stealing'
A fight with myself, I need to have.
Same fight; within myself, with others who reflect it back, with reflections in my dreams..

Fighting against my true emotions has been the most damaging fight.
That fight is ending.

The new fight beginning, screaming at the wind, standing up to that which would steal my life.

Dream Interpretation / Re: Screaming
« on: March 30, 2018, 11:17:41 PM »
Thank you Tony

It's great to fight back for a change.

It's impossible to fight back, in dreams or life,  if you feel you deserve to be attacked.
Abusers always make sure you believe this.

It's impossible to confront fear, if the fear is, that you are utterly worthless..
and you think facing the fear means - that you will discover for certain that that is true..
..and therefore be annihilated. Eternal death.

for me, in life, in dreams.. starting to 'believe' I deserve more than pain and abuse..gives me a voice, to scream at the wind.

I think that belief is developing because my dreams have been showing to me, just how much pain and terror I've held inside. It was invalidated by others, I was in denial, but through my dreams it has finally gotten to speak, to be listened to, believed, which integrates a lot I was split off from.

Dream Interpretation / Screaming
« on: March 27, 2018, 07:16:30 PM »
I am walking a road in the daytime, countryside. Suddenly a convoy of military vehicles pursue me, it's very overwhelming and frightening, but then they pass on. They rise loads and loads of dust. Then I see a large owl in the trees and notice it has a distinctive green tint to its white feathers. I also see it has an orange emergency light on top of its head, the kind that would have a siren, but it's not lit.

Then the wind picks up dramatically and starts attacking me, it feels like it's carrying on the job the military didn't finish. It's so powerful and it's very frightening - especially because in the dream I have the knowledge that it has picked me personally. To be an individual singled out for attack, by such a force, is so overwhelming.

I start screaming at the wind to leave me alone, to F off.. I'm scared and exasperated at being constantly pursued. I wake with my heart pounding and full of a deep deep fear. (I wake weekly with my heart racing in fear, but often can't remember the dream or can't bear to cast my mind to try remember)

Healing Dreams / Re: Am I healing?
« on: March 27, 2018, 07:03:09 PM »
Thank you Tony

but since thou art not yet Master of thine own passions and powers, in that degree must thou needs be at the mercy of some other power.

Healing Dreams / Re: Am I healing?
« on: February 14, 2018, 01:14:05 PM »
Thank you Tony. Yes I totally get that. Thank you for those examples . (I will read back through the lucidity chapter now) I'm very much into the ordinary life containing all we need..

I guess there must be an arrival at some healthy 'functionality' on the healing path?
Because to be in 'crisis' and 'under attack' on the inner/outer planes, very often just amounts to ongoing suffering.
The deam mentioned here, shows powerlessness and suffering is still in my system. I still have traumatic dreams. So I see my duty to myself, is to get out of that suffering.

I guess through my dreams I am meeting and meeting and meeting it...until eventually I become empowered and these forces no longer have power over me? Therefore my plan is to 'dream on' and 'lifestream on' and see where it takes me.

Then I'll be able to move through the world, living, loving, creating, rather than spend all my energy recovering from various forms of attack.

I greatly appreciate the work you do here. Thank you

Dream Interpretation / Re: Babies
« on: February 14, 2018, 12:45:18 PM »
Thanks so much Tony. That strikes me deeply. Amazing, so much is explained to me by that, so much.

Dream Interpretation / Babies
« on: February 14, 2018, 09:24:47 AM »
I am looking at babies lying on the floor, 10? 20? they are very still. I look closer and realise they are completely frozen, they are all exactly the same age about 1 year old and wearing nothing but diapers. I look closely as they are so still, they have their eyes open. I'm shocked but also a bit overwhelmed by the sheer quantity (and it would be mayhem if they weren't frozen). Later another girl mentions frozen babies and I say 'wow I dreamt of that too' then someone is talking about all the fairytales coming alive and I say I hope not because it will be very stressful and crazy. Then a young deer is shot by an arrow in the neck and slumps its head on the table in front of me.

 - the frozen babies seem a reprieve from the chaos of life, the awful fecundity of humankind that it can barely cope with. The shot deer seems to mark the end of the reprieve..the fairytales are coming alive and before I know it there will be Knights on errand, wars between kingdoms...and Im just bored and sick of it all, of people's shallow ambitions, their ruthlessness.  I want to rest and have some peace.

But then Im walking arm in arm with some guy.

Maybe I don't just want retreat, but to find my own place of connection. My own world within the many worlds.

Healing Dreams / Am I healing?
« on: February 12, 2018, 10:37:59 AM »
Hi Tony. At one point in my life I read a lot about dreams, spirituality etc..doing yoga, meditation I managed to lucid dream about twice, after some work dedicated to getting to that point. I'm a bit disappointed that that's as far as I got. Is there a usefulness to lucid dreaming in relation to healing? I feel pretty incapable of lucid dreaming. My dreams are powerful and much happens there, but lucidity seems out of my reach. In recent years my dreams have just been a cascade of trauma dreams, which obviously needed processing, so I just had to yield to that, there was no choice. And also yield to illness and yield to pain and to life falling apart.

Last week (after a healing meditation) I dreamt a 'healer' covered in children's drawings on his skin, put his mouth to my neck and using his mouth and hands (but not physically touching me) started moving the energy through my body to try heal me. This was following on a previous scene of a man violently abusing a young child. Last night I dreamt I was in a toilet cubicle where I somehow knew many women had died, and as soon as I entered a powerful force just grabbed me and slapped me against the tiles and I could feel it pulling the life out of my body as I cried for help. It was like their deaths, their anger/despair, their energy was sucking me into the same fate.

Generally I'm wondering am I getting anywhere? Am I healing? What are signs of healing? Should I 'do' something? I've been trying to approach it all in a lifestream way and I do believe the 'yielding to what is happening' has reduced my suffering and helped me most. Should I  aim for lucid dreaming again? it has been a very very long road, hope would be nice..

Any thoughts appreciated

Dream Interpretation / Re: My friend murders me
« on: October 11, 2017, 07:10:09 PM »
Thank you Tony, not at all, I'm always grateful for any answer at any speed. And thanks for my new lesson, I like it a lot.

I will say that the specific fear I felt, was not that him holding me or being close caused my drowning, but that in the dream he seemed to have coolly planned my death.

It was an awful moment feeling his hands around me, keeping himself alive and drowning me. The knowledge he had that much hate in him and towards me.

I don't think it's specifically about this friend, but my dream emotions and experience were strong and clear.

 I may be infinite consciousness, but the dream shows me my current, or this life's level of connection/disconnection to that power, I have often been at the mercy of those with more power in this domain than I.

Dream Interpretation / Re: Tornados
« on: October 04, 2017, 11:41:37 AM »
Thankyou Tony. Lots for me to learn there.

A question. How do I become more conscious in the dream world?
I managed to gain lucidity once years ago, was able to move the clouds etc.. but then I couldn't think of what to do next and woke.  That was after a  period of working with Tibetan dream yoga. I haven't focused on it since, apart from a bit of reading. That lucidity hasn't happened since either. What are simple first steps?

Dream Interpretation / My friend murders me
« on: October 04, 2017, 10:56:12 AM »
A few months ago I met up with an old best friend. I shared some of my story and learned of his own difficulties. I was disappointed and hurt he didn't reach out more afterwards and did his usual of hiding in work. Still I could see he is under more emotional pressure than he may realise, and is struggling under the pressure men are put to always be strong, and though I've been through hell im definitely on the healing path.

Last night I dreamt we were both looking over a bridge high over a river into the water. He was testing a rope to see would it reach. I said it's too thin to climb up. Then he encouraged me to dive into the water, I hesitated but agreed, then he was right behind me diving in too. I thought he's too close this could be dangerous but It was happening so quickly. He dived right behind me, as in almost holding me, then when we were under water I realised he was holding me and he was drowning me. I was trying to understand why he would do this, Im so surprised and confused and then I die. I woke from this, shocked and sad.

(In being the thing I just get anger and jealousy as him.  For me the overwhelming emotion is betrayal and grief)

Dream Interpretation / Tornados
« on: October 03, 2017, 09:31:23 PM »
I am flying with someone, as in we are just able to fly with our bodies, and I am teaching them how to spot the formation of tornados saying if you are going to fly a lot, it's something you'll need to navigate. I point out a cloud that has an upward airstream that is starting to speed up really fast. Then I point out a tornado half formed. Suddenly pockets of high speed air start whizzing by, the equivalent of rock or comets. Then one hits me and propels me right out of the atmosphere into space, I use a lot of energy to re-enter as quickly as I can and return to my original position.

I'm with my dad asking about a new playground, he's very short tempered and says that was always there. A man angry his church has been vandalised, he shows me a stack of cooking sauce containers, he's implying are being used. The church is pretty, blue/grey, wooden among trees and is a private church belonging only to his family. I see my mother ill on a chair as she was before she died.  I wake.

Later I sleep again and dream of explaining to an artist I know that we are all full of the dead children of ourselves, we can die a few times at different ages.

someone sweeping after an event, I find a coin with a dolphin and moon symbol, I hesitate but pick it up. A guy is networking with a woman I know who is unstable and a bit dangerous, he has already given me his number.  I notice I am standing there near her, leaving myself totally open to her low energies, when I notice I quietly slip away and I'm so relieved and proud I noticed before I just followed old patterns and allowed myself to get sucked into her negative control.

Healing Dreams / Heart shaped drum
« on: June 21, 2017, 12:25:52 AM »
I am in a farmhouse, in the kitchen/living area. I see a frame drum, I say to the woman, I can teach your son how to play (don't know how I know she has a son). I pick it up and realise it's in the shape of a heart. I start to play it gently, saying this is what I would teach him first.. something very simple. Then I see two of her teenage daughters have appeared, they sit slouched side by side on a sofa glaring, they stare at me with intense hatred and bitterness. I leave and go outside I'm nearly run over by her husband reversing a tractor, I jump out of the way, then I walk away up the lane. Now I'm back inside with the woman, she's very emotional, thanking me, saying I can't know how much my short visit gave to her, how she never experienced what I brought before, (creativity, fun?) her life has been about serving her husband and very boring. I get a feeling of the aridness of the existence she has led inside me as she speaks. I notice the Muppets are in TV and that makes me happy.

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